SwaRon OS- The yearning.

"Time to go to sleep baby." Swayam caressed his young daughter's hair.

"Not sleepy daddy."

"Shh' Rishika you must sleep now' Otherwise you know na what happens to people who don't sleep on time?"

His daughter made a scared, babyish face and nodded childishly.

"Now, go to sleep. You have school tomorrow. First day of primary school. Aren't you excited?"

"No. I'll have to leave you and go to school. I don't want to do that."

"Rishika, you have to do that only for six hours sweetheart. I'll pick you up and then we'll go to the ice cream shop. And then maybe we'll go to the game parlor, and then maybe to pizza hut. We'll have lots of fun okay? But tomorrow. After school. Now sleep. Good night."

"Daddy but..."

"Rishika, I suppose teachers are not unknown to you now. We met them right? They'll take care of you."

"Okay daddy. If you say so."

"Good night Rishika. Go to sleep."

"Good night daddy."

Swayam put his five year old daughter to sleep, closed the lights of the room and walked out of it. He entered the living room and saw the cake box which was kept of the dining table. Adjacent to the cake box, was a photo, of his wife, of his Sharon.

He refused to add "late" to her name. She was still alive. She was still the queen of his heart. She was still within him. He walked towards the table.

"Our daughter will go to school tomorrow Sharon. Isn't that great news?" He said, holding her photo in his hand. "She's already five Sharon. She is a big girl now!" He looked at her smiling photo. She looked so beautiful, so natural. How he wished she could have been there.

"Daddy." Swayam heard a babyish voice. He kept Sharon's picture on the table and turned to face his daughter.

Rishika rubbed her eyes and came towards her father. "I want water." She said.

"Rishika, take it on your own."

"No. I am afraid to go alone to the kitchen."

"Why is that?"

"Because I heard that ghosts linger in dark places at night. And our kitchen is dark too. So I am afraid."

"There are no ghosts Rishika."

"You mean mummy is not a ghost? She's not with us?"

Swayam picked his daughter up. "Good souls are called angels. Your mummy is an angel. She's the prettiest angel of all. She's a good angel."

"Then why did she go to god?" Rishika questioned.

Swayam smiled lightly at his daughter's innocence. She was so meek and so docile, but yet so curious. "Well, you know god is too selfish. He wants the best people with him. Your mummy was the best person ever. Hence he called her."

"That means I am so lucky that she gave birth to me!"

"Yes you are." Swayam's lips curved into a crescent. He carried her to the kitchen and gave her some water.

"Now go to bed. You have to wake up early tomorrow."

"Ok." Rishika said and Swayam kissed her good night and put her to sleep once again.

He came to the living room once again, this time, to cut the cake. He unwrapped the cake box and took out the delicious chocolate truffle cake. It was Sharon's favorite. A knife was kept near it. Slowly, but steadily, he cut the cake.

"Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you' Happy Birthday dear Sharon, happy birthday to you."

He fed the cake to himself. The pain had passed, but the yearning was going to stay with him forever. It had been five long years since she had passed away. How he wished to bring her back. He recollected those times when he had wished to kill himself. But no, he couldn't do that. His daughter needed him. She needed him a lot. She was a mother less child, but she needed her father. His father had never cared for him. He did not want his child to undergo the same pain and difficulty.

"Mr. Shekhawat, I'm really sorry."

"Why? What happened? My child is fine? Is there any problem?" Swayam asked the gynecologist frantically. He could not wait to see his child. How excited he was since the past nine months. He used to help Sharon in every single way. He used to take care of every single household activity when she was feeling unwell. He used to take care of her every single day. And he had expected the baby to be a cheerful one, a blend of Sharon and him. He loved her a lot.

"There have been complications in the surgery Mr. Shekhawat. We can either save your wife or your child."

Swayam couldn't believe all this was happening with him. He was in pain. He didn't know what to choose. He wanted this child, but at the same time, he couldn't afford to lose Sharon. She was like oxygen for him. Every day, the first thing he used to see was Sharon's smile. And now her life was at stake. It was like choosing between oxygen and water. What the worst part was that he had to make a decision for her. Something that could cost both of them forever'.

"Does she know about it?"

"Your wife? Yes she does."

"What.. what did she say?" Swayam was stammering.

"She asked us to save the child. But still we preferred consulting you before taking any further action."

Swayam's heart broke into a million pieces as he heard that. A baby could be born again but Sharon' how could she come back again after dying?

"Can I meet her?" Swayam gulped although he wasn't chewing anything.

The doctor nodded and led him to Sharon's room. Sharon was lying on the bed comfortably, as though counting her last breaths.

"Sharon." Swayam went and sat near her. He held her hand, not wanting her to go anywhere.

"Swayam'. I know that you know about it. And I also know that you would want me to stay alive, but believe me Swayam' this baby, you were so excited about having a baby. And your excitement did not decrease even a bit. You always wanted a baby Swayam. I wanted a baby too, but you have always been the most excited'Your excitement never knew any bounds. So don't think that I took this decision in haste. I thought about it and I decided that the baby should be kept alive." She sounded hyper.

"Shut up Sharon Rai Prakash!" He shouted.

"Sharon Shekhawat'" she corrected him. "And Swayam, you want to spend the last few moments with me, like this?

"You are not going to die Sharon!" He said firmly. He was already so shocked. And hearing all those words from her was so depressing. He was so in pain. His eyes were filled with tears.

"Swayam'Take care of our daughter. Okay? You can do this for me right?"

Swayam's tears started falling on Sharon's wrist. She extended her arm and wiped his tears.

"Stop crying now. You are not a girl."

"You are not going to die."

"You are ordering me?" Sharon looked at him expectantly.

"Yes. You are going to stay. For me and for our future children."

"I am already giving you a gift. Our child will be proud of her daddy. You'll be the coolest daddy ever."

"Our children would need a mom too."

"You'll be the dad as well as mom. You'll do an awesome job. I know that."

"No. I want you."

"And our child wants you. I'll always be there with you Swayam. Forever, I'll be there in your heart. I'll be watching you and see, if at all I see you crying anytime, I swear I'll start coming in your dreams and turn them into nightmares." She tried cheering him up, even though she knew it was not possible.

"I don't care. I want to spend my life only with you Sharon."

"You know what Swayam'You are being too emotional. Men can't be emotional. They need to fight. No crying in front of me. Now you won't even let me die peacefully?"

Swayam was still crying. No power on earth could stop those tears. They were tears of helplessness, tears of sadness, tears of pain and most of all; they were tears of chagrin, which were not going to stop at all. Ignoring the delusion that she was going to be with him always, he pulled her into a tight hug.

Sharon lips started curving into a slight smile. She didn't want to leave him either, but she had no other option.

"This is our last hug Swayam." She spoke in such a faint voice that even he could not hear it. Moreover, he was too preoccupied to listen to anything.

They broke apart and Sharon kissed his forehead. "I love you Swayam. I'll always be there with you."

Swayam sniffed. His tears did not stop, but still he managed to say something. "I love you too Sharon." He kissed her hand.

The doctor entered the room at that very moment and asked Swayam to leave as he wanted to begin the surgery. Sharon's decision to keep the baby alive was final and Sharon had already gestured the doctor about the same. He went out of the ward and bid a tearful goodbye to Sharon. He looked at her perfect face, she was lying on her death bed, those hazel eyes were not going to captivate him more, those beautiful lips were not going to crave for a loving kiss anymore. This was the final goodbye.

He himself didn't know how those five long years had passed. After Rishika's birth, he used to be busy. He used to get engaged with her. He used to play with her. He never let her feel that she was having an incomplete childhood. He tried to be her father and mother but he himself knew that no one other than Sharon could give her a complete childhood.

He was now sitting on the sofa, with another picture in his hand. He still remembered the date. Sharon was in her sixth month and she was supposed to avoid travelling, but still it was her birthday and Swayam had decided to make that birthday special for her. He had taken her to Mahabaleshwar. Little did he know that it was going to be her last birthday.

He looked at the picture. She looked stunning in a white dress, even with a bulged tummy. Even after marriage, she hadn't given her divalicious abilities. She used to dress like a college girl even then. On asking, she used to reply very cleverly, "my name has changed, not my attitude and dressing style."

It was her birthday. He used to celebrate her birthday every year. Because she was special, for him, more than anyone else. He hadn't told it to Rishika. Exactly after one year of her birth, he knew she was going to come up with questions like "Where is my mom?" His daughter had understood. Something contrary to what he had expected, but there was one day when he picked her up from kindergarten and unluckily, she saw a mom kissing her daughter. She stared at them for some time. Swayam could not help it but stare himself at them. He imagined Sharon and Rishika instead of both of them.

Rishika had asked him but Swayam knew how to cleverly shove such thoughts off her mind. The best way was by distracting her. She loved playing and Swayam made it a point to play with her every evening. He himself had no idea about how these five years had passed so soon.

He used to think about her every night. He used to kiss her picture every night. She was there in every single corner of his house, virtually. He even refused to put up her photo as a mark of her death. She was still alive; she was still there in his heart. She was not someone who could be forgotten easily.

He had read her personal diary almost ten times. He wanted to keep those memories alive' Her memories alive. He was not going to dispose her only memories.

His dad had asked him to remarry. He knew that Rishika needed a mother, but he refused to remarry. He knew about Rishika and he also knew that he could bring her up on his own. He was confident. Sharon had given him the confidence'

How he wished for her to come back' How he wished she could sit with Rishika and play with her' how he wished to relive all those moments with her' how he wished to lay in her arms and stay like that forever' how he wished to spend time with her... He missed her a lot.

"I love you Sharon'" he said as a teardrop made its way through his eye and fell on their picture' "I'll always continue to'"

The yearning'. Which continued to stay even after five years of her death'

Hope you all liked this OS. I hope it wasn't too short. If you liked it, please do leave your comments and please hit the like tab!!😳

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