Posted:
I have been trying to understand Megha for a long time now. Finally, I came to an understanding that I can accept:
Megha was initally a simple, ordinary woman - who was happy in her own little world - but then circumstances changed and at a young age, she became a widow with the responsibility of her two kids as well as clearing Amar's name. Her whole world then became centered on her kids - she had to become strong and brave - to fight the world and keep her kids safe. She couldn't afford to trust anyone, who knew what intentions they had for her. At times, she lost hope, felt powerless, but she didn't express it in front of her kids. As Nanhi had once said, whenever she became depressed, she didn't cry, but just stayed silent.
Then Mohan entered her life - and things changed. Unknowingly, she fell in love with him - and that terrified her. The world, which till then just consisted of her kids, didn't seem enough anymore. She needed Mohan in it. Again, very bravely, she convinced herself and married Mohan. But in her heart, she always feared that she was making a mistake - not of marrying Mohan, but of moving on with her life - of letting someone else take the attention that was meant only for her kids. The fear of failing her kids.
And when Addu disappeared from the station, her worst fears came true. Being ridden with guilt, she couldn't think of any other reason of Addu's disappearance, other than Nanhi's version - that he ran away because of Mohan. And from that day, her torture began.
I find her pain to be more excruciating than Mohan's. Mohan at least has the liberty to cry for her, to love her, to pine for her. At least he can be honest to himself about his feelings for her. But she doesn't have that freedom. She has to lie - even to herself. The only way she can keep away from Mohan is if she convinces herself that she hates him. She misses him terribly, it breaks her heart not to love him, it kills her everyday. But she can't allow herself to give in to these feelings - else she would do injustice to her son. She has to stay strong and punish herself by staying away from the love of her life. She has to bottle up her feelings and put up a facade - everyday of her life.
The day of the reunion, her first reaction was a ray of hope - that if Mohan has indeed found Addu, she can finally get rid of her guilt and accept her feelings for Mohan. Her promise was not only for getting Addu back, but MM being together. And when she realized that Addu wasn't back, she had no choice but to go in her self-imposed shell.
I am waiting for the day, when Megha finally breaks down, and gives in to her heart. When she finally accepts what she truly wants - not as someone's mother or wife, but as a woman. Not what she is supposed to want or feel, but what she actually wants.
This is my take on Megha's character..at least what I think makes sense for the current track. Is this right? Or am I seeing things that I want to see? Is there any other perspective that I am missing?
Megha was initally a simple, ordinary woman - who was happy in her own little world - but then circumstances changed and at a young age, she became a widow with the responsibility of her two kids as well as clearing Amar's name. Her whole world then became centered on her kids - she had to become strong and brave - to fight the world and keep her kids safe. She couldn't afford to trust anyone, who knew what intentions they had for her. At times, she lost hope, felt powerless, but she didn't express it in front of her kids. As Nanhi had once said, whenever she became depressed, she didn't cry, but just stayed silent.
Then Mohan entered her life - and things changed. Unknowingly, she fell in love with him - and that terrified her. The world, which till then just consisted of her kids, didn't seem enough anymore. She needed Mohan in it. Again, very bravely, she convinced herself and married Mohan. But in her heart, she always feared that she was making a mistake - not of marrying Mohan, but of moving on with her life - of letting someone else take the attention that was meant only for her kids. The fear of failing her kids.
And when Addu disappeared from the station, her worst fears came true. Being ridden with guilt, she couldn't think of any other reason of Addu's disappearance, other than Nanhi's version - that he ran away because of Mohan. And from that day, her torture began.
I find her pain to be more excruciating than Mohan's. Mohan at least has the liberty to cry for her, to love her, to pine for her. At least he can be honest to himself about his feelings for her. But she doesn't have that freedom. She has to lie - even to herself. The only way she can keep away from Mohan is if she convinces herself that she hates him. She misses him terribly, it breaks her heart not to love him, it kills her everyday. But she can't allow herself to give in to these feelings - else she would do injustice to her son. She has to stay strong and punish herself by staying away from the love of her life. She has to bottle up her feelings and put up a facade - everyday of her life.
The day of the reunion, her first reaction was a ray of hope - that if Mohan has indeed found Addu, she can finally get rid of her guilt and accept her feelings for Mohan. Her promise was not only for getting Addu back, but MM being together. And when she realized that Addu wasn't back, she had no choice but to go in her self-imposed shell.
I am waiting for the day, when Megha finally breaks down, and gives in to her heart. When she finally accepts what she truly wants - not as someone's mother or wife, but as a woman. Not what she is supposed to want or feel, but what she actually wants.
This is my take on Megha's character..at least what I think makes sense for the current track. Is this right? Or am I seeing things that I want to see? Is there any other perspective that I am missing?
Vanshaj
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