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Tadap

Mathur Mansion: Night around 10.00 PM: at the dining table:

Ashu: CS! Ek aur roti please! (CS serves the roti with a happy grin) waise jab se aap yahaan aaye hain mein mota hone lag gaya hoon. (Nidhi grins at CS who in turn lookes mightily pleased with himself)

Nidhi empties her water glass: chaliyeji mera toh hogaya. I am full. (Ashu holds her hand and stops her as she makes a move to get up) arre sachchi mein I am fu..(he stuffs a roti piece along with sabzi effectively cutting off her sentence. Her initial glare turns into a cute pout and then a smile lights up her eyes and transforms her face. Both grin at each other and CS quietly exits the room giving them privacy) achcha yeh batayiye woh surgery kaise hua? Aap aaj subah kehrahe the na..

Her conversation once again gets interrupted as both their cell phones start ringing simultaneously. They give each other questioning frowning looks and pick up their phones. A couple of seconds later both spring up from their chairs and hastily end the conversation.

Nidhi: CS! (CS comes running) emergency hain CS. We are going to KGH now. aap baba ka dhyaan rakhiye. Aur unke medicine ek ghante baad dena hain bhuliye ga nahi.

CS: no fikr bibiji. Aap jao. Ashutosh saabji bhi jaarahe hain?

Ashu already on the move replies: dono ko jaana hain CS. Baba ki zimmedaari aap ki. We don't know when we will be back. (CS nods and both Ashutosh and Nidhi get changed quickly and run to their car.

KGH:

Utter chaos is prevailing at the main entrance of the hospital building. The ambulance sirens are heard from almost two streets ahead of KGH and Ranganath is trying to answer someone's repeated anxious questions when AshNi walk into the hospital. Ashu, as the dean takes charge immediately and Nidhi, as an intern, rushes towards the emergency ward along with Priyanka.

Ranga walks briskly trying to keep up with Ashutosh: sir, it's a complete disaster. The whole apartment complex collapsed like a pack of cards. Lots of people dead and countless injured. Some are being taken to the GGH but KGH is the closest so majority are being brought here.

Ashu: what is the condition over there at the site? Is there anyone to help the rescue team as and when they bring the victims out of the debris?

Ranga: GGH has sent a team and we are in the process.

Ashu: then rush it Ranganath. Two senior doctors and 6 interns. you choose and send them. tell the admin staff to set up a tent over there and send the nurses first along with all the basic first aid equipment. Victims will be shifted here and to GGH as soon as the first aid is administered. Make sure there are 2 ambulances over there on standby. Move move move.

Ranga: yes sir (and literally leaves on a run)

The next 4 hours at KGH pass in a blur for Ashutosh and the rest of the staff as they handle the victims with quick efficiency. Screaming kids and babies, crying and moaning adults and anxious relatives and friends..KGH is flooded with them and the staff continue to work tirelessly. Ashutosh handles all the major head and spine injury cases directing them to CT scan and / or OT as per the requirement. The junior doctors and interns working under him get the lash of his tongue even at the slightest slack or delay. About 5 hours later Ashu,who is in his surgical scrubs, is checking over the next patient to be taken to the surgery. It was a kid of about 5 years old. He had hit the back of his head but there was no external bleeding. First aid was administered at the sight and he had looked ok then. even spoke with his parents. then he had suddenly collapsed and was rushed to KGH. CT scan had indicated internal bleeding and surgery had to be performed asap. The theatre is ready and the juniors are shifting the child to the OT and the anaesthetist is already in the OT waiting for the patient and Ashutosh.

"Doctor, mera beta teek hoga na?"

"doctor, kuch bhi keejiye par mere bete ko bachaleejiye. Mein uske bagair zinda nahi rehsakti. Mein aap ke paau padti hoon doctor. Please!"

Ashu pulls up the mother of the child before she could touch his feet: please don't worry. We will try our best. (As he makes a move towards the OT, Ranganath comes running towards him with a panicked look on his face.) everything ok Ranaganath?

Ranga looks away and then looks back at him with tense worried eyes: sir..Dr Ashutosh..woh..

Ashu starts getting impatient: Ranganath I have to go to the OT now. either you tell me or let me go.

Ranga: sir, we had put up a tent at the site to the victims. A few mins back (he swallows, rubs a hand over his face) a few mins back, a wall collapsed and fell on the tent.

Ashu looks stunned: WHAT? Why was the tent put in a danger zone in the first place? You very well know that..

Ranga: sir..there was no other choice. But sir..

Ashu: any of our staff injured?

Ranga swallows again: sir..woh..we don't know yet. I am going there now.

Ashu: ok. go fast Ranganath. I hope everyone is safe. (he turns and makes a move towards the OT)

Ranga: sir..Nidhi..Dr Nidhi..

Ashu's feet stop and he swirls around: Nidhi? Dr Nidhi what?

Ranga: sir Dr Nidhi is there in that tent.

Everything in Ashutosh comes to a stand still. He continues to look at Ranganath as if expecting him to deny that statement. He starts getting a suffocated feeling..as if someone is squeezing his neck and throttling him and he realizes that he has stopped breathing. He staggers back a step and a quick inhale of breath pumps air into his lungs. But the suffocating feeling remains. His lips form his wife name "Ni..dh..iii" his eyes see the image of her as she had looked the last time he saw her..in her black and white salwaar, hair pulled back into a pony tail, the lower half of the face covered with a surgical mask as she attended a burns case.

Ranganath shakes him by his shoulders: sir..sir!! are you ok? don't worry sir. Nidhi ko kuch nahi hoga. I am going there now.

Ashu swallows, wets his lips and nods: yeah..i am..i am coming with you. Nidhi ko kuch nahi hoga. I know it. I would have known if something had happened to her. wouldn't i? I know. Woh teek hain. usse kuch nahi hoga. I would have known..no no. she is fine. I know she is fine. Ranganath..lets go.

Jyothika: sir, theatre is ready. child ko humne shift kardiya hain.

Ashu looks at her as if he doesn't understand what she is talking about: what?

Jyothika: sir, the child's head injury case. he needs immediate surgery na. the team is waiting for you.

Ashu looks away and then as if coming to a decision turns back to Jyothika: call Dr Sudeep. He will handle it. he is in the ER

Jyothika: no sir. He is in the other OT operating on another patient. You have to come now.

Ashu's face looks as if he is being torn into two pieces alive. The boy's father comes rushing towards them: kya hua doctor? Why are you not going to the OT? My child is ok right? Koi problem toh nahi hain na? he is going to be fine right?

Ranga: sir, I should go to the site now. the vehicle is waiting.

Ashu locks his jaw and squeezes his eyes tightly shut for a couple of moments. When he opens them, they are completely blank and devoid of expression: aap ka beta teek hain. I am going to the OT now. Jyothika, tell the anaesthetist to start. Ranganath please carry on to the site. (with that he turns and walks off towards the OT without once looking back)

90 minutes later:

OT doors open and Ashu walks out. His face still having the same blank expression. Both the parents of the child rush towards him: sir, humaara beta?

Ashu puts a hand on the father's shoulder: aap ka beta teek hain. I have stopped the bleeding. But he is going to be in the ICU for the next 48 hours. We will evaluate the situation after that. baaki ke details aap ko Dr Avasthi samjhadenge.

And walks off with a small nod completely oblivious to the looks and gestures of gratitude from the child's parents. his feet carry him to the ER and his eyes search the crowd for the one face that he wants to see. Nurses, staff, junior and senior doctors, interns, victims who have now been settled down and treated..none register. He continues to move from bed to bed silently. He goes to each and every ward and searches all the beds. His walk is not brisk like before. He is a man at the end of the teether..dragging himself..refusing to give up..alternating between hope and despair. Yet, he doesn't speak to anyone or ask anyone. Is he afraid to hear the answer or has he completely lost the ability to string a sentence?

A sudden thought strikes him and he runs towards Nidhi's cabin and barges in. his desperate eyes look every nook and corner of the empty room and slowly the hopeful light in his eyes gets extinguished. "Dr Ashutosh?" (He turns his head to see Dr Sudeep standing there near the door of the cabin) Priyanka was telling me there is a head injury case? the surgery is done? (AShu nods) everything ok with the patient? (another nod) ok. I am off now actually. Things have settled down. I think you should also go home for a while. You look very down and tired. (he waits for a moment for AShu's response and not getting it, gives a tentative nod and walks away with a questioning look on his face.)

Ashu runs another distracted hand through his already shaggy hair and goes to his cabin and stops dead. There, on the sofa, is Nidhi! his Nidhi! feet propped up on the table, head titled to the side and dozing. Tired..worn out but safe. Right here. in front of him. within touching distance. He must have made some noise because her eyes slowly open and she looks at him. a tired smile lights her face and she makes a move to get up only to wince and sit back again: "ouch!"

Ranganath walks in from behind Ashu with a smile on his tired dirt smeared face: sir, as you can see, Dr Nidhi is safe and sound. Her knees got scraped a bit but that's about it. mere khayaal se ab aap dono ko ghar jaana chahiye. Its almost 3.00 and things have settled down now. I will call you if there is any change. (then he looks at Nidhi) good work Dr Nidhi. (with another nod at Ashu, Ranganath leaves)

Nidhi slowly gets up and Ashu puts his hand around her shoulders and supports her and holds on to her other hand so that she can completely lean on him: I just took a couple of pain killers Dr Ashutosh aur thakaan ki wajah se I am drowsy. Chale? (Ashu nods and lifts her up in his arms) arre, yeh kya kar rahe hain Dr Ashutosh! I can walk. oh please put me down! Sab dekh rahe hain. Ashuji. Please! I am ok. aap ko mujhe aise lejaane ki zaroorat nahi hain. mein khudba khud chal sakti hoon.

But its as if suddenly, Dr Ashutosh Mathur, Neurosurgeon of KGH has gone completely deaf. He carries her to his car and opens the door and carefully adjusts her in the seat before going to the driver's seat and starting the car. Nidhi, who is already tired and in pain, leans her head back and closes her eyes in relief: ghar chalte hain. (then her eyes cloud with pain) aaj pata nahi kitno ke ghar tootkar bikhar gaye. So many people..so many lives lost and injured! Yeh sab log kya karenge? Kahan jaayenge? We did what we could but is it ever enough Dr Ashutosh? hameshaa aisa kyon lagta hain ki kaash hum kuch aur karpaate! We think we have the ability to save lives but is it a blessing or a curse Dr Ashutosh? To have the ability yet unable to help all. To stand and watch a person take his last breath because there is nothing else you can do to help him. (then she looks at the empty streets and the occasional vehicle that overtakes them) I guess we should just think about what we CAN and COULD do rather than what we CAN'T and COULDN'T do. (Ashu silently takes her hand in his, joins his palm to hers and entwines their fingers before bringing it to his mouth and kissing the back of her hand) kya baat hain? itne chup kyon hain? (he just shakes his head as if to say nothing and continues to drive with one hand and holds on to her hand with the other one.)

Mathur Mansion: AshNi bedroom:

Nidhi: aap fresh hojaaiye phir mein jaati hoon. I don't think I can salvage this dress anyways. Its torn all over the knee areas and at the ankles too.

Ashu takes out her night dress and silently makes her sit on the bed and carefully undresses her and dons her night gown. He goes down on his hunches as his fingers softly trace the bruises over her ankles, calves and knees. One knee has a bandage and one has a plaster. His fingers tremble as they trace the small cuts surrounding the bandage. A single tear escapes and falls on one of the smaller cuts. Nidhi gets startled at the feel of wetness on her knee and with a frown lifts his face up to look into his red wet eyes: hey, yeh kya hain Ashuji? Kuch nahi hua hain mujhe. I am right here with you na. see.

His breath hitches out and he quickly averts his eyes, stretches his arm to switch off the light and then hides his face in her lap..his desperate fingers fisting and gripping her night gown tightly. Nidhi wraps her arms around his head and understands this strong man's need for darkness for his tears. She leans back on the pillows and pulls him fully into his arms. He shakes in her arms, his wet face buried against her breasts as harsh sobs wrack his body. She continues to stroke his head, his shoulders and back..not speaking but giving him the comfort of her touch..her body. His hands trace and retrace all over her body as of assuring himself of her presence..beside him..with him. soon, his lips follow his fingers and pain and desperation turns into desire and possession. The first touch of his lips on hers feels almost like their first kiss on that long ago night in the jungle. A kiss that asks "are you really here? with me?" but within seconds, the tentativeness gives way to passion and the kiss rejoices in its shout of "YES! you are here. with me. And I am not going to let you go! Not in this life time and not the next and not the next! Your place is right here. with me. in me. always! Forever!" and soon their bodies catch the fire. But their union that night has a poignancy to it. as if both of them have once again realized and remembered how essential each are for the existence of the other. They come together in darkness but their hearts are alight with joy and love.