As she gobbled down the third bar of chocolate, she pondered upon how she had actually ended up in this devastated, heartbroken state ..
Life had never been more perfect for her, the way it had been one and a half year ago. A perfect job, perfect love life, perfect parents .. What all could she ask for. Her life was like a dream , a dream come true.
But alas, they say, not all good things last forever ... And that's exactly what had happened. Her sweet, adorable, love-struck boyfriend had suddenly realized, he needed space .. The thought itself brought tears to her beautiful hazel orbs.
Had she really been intruding in his privacy, in his life. Was she so engrossed in him, that he had started to feel suffocated and demanded space.
Even though it had been more than an year post her break-up, she just couldn't get his memories out of her mind. They kept haunting her, reminding her how important he is.
Only if he could listen ...
"Oh come'on honey, for how long would you keep on thinking about that moron?" her best friend, Vishakha said.
She said stared into her eyes in disbelief. Instead of consoling her, and giving her motivation and strength, she was calling her boyfriend a moron.
Ex-Boyfriend, my lady. Her mind reminded her, as if she had ever forgotten it. She sighed loudly and slumped back in one of those plump couches of the expensive lounges in town.
Since her career life had been blooming, unlike her love life, she could now afford to be here. She was no more the Weakling Sharon called her as.
Yet again, a sigh escaped her mouth as she remembered how much he used to fight with his friends for using that word post their relationship.
Again.
His memories never seemed to leave her, instead by every passing minute, her memories, his memories, and moreover, their memories flashed in front of her eyes.
"Let's order something, I am actually starving. Rehersals ended up quite late today and I haven't had a bite after breakfast." Swayam, her friend said.
"Hm, what do you want to order dear?" Amar, her best and perhaps, the only close friend asked her, lisping with a simper.
"I'll have nothing, you guys decide what you want" she said.
"Neha, come on sweety, stop doing this to yourself. Vicky does not even remember you perhaps, he has moved ... " Kria ended with a pause as Swayam signalled her with his eyes.
Curiosity took over her and she asked Kria to complete her statement. She saw Kria looking at Swayam, and they both had an eye-talk.
"The truth would be welcomed here Kria, tell me what you were about to say..." Neha paused, peeved at the evident hesitation in her actions. "... Come'on guys, tell me."
Swayam put a concerned and a warm hand on her hand that was resting on the table and he spoke "We're not sure if you will be able to handle it Neha, we don't want you to be sad. We know you are subject to hysterics, and perhaps, this is not the correct time to tell you. Believe me, we would tell you, but not now! Maybe sometime later!"
Neha stared into his eyes, and tears fell down her face. "If I can face an ugly break-up for no reason at all, I'm sure I can handle this."
Amar sighed quite loudly and looked at Bharat. They both nodded at each other and then looked at the others present at the table.
"Vicky is now dating Aashi."
***
My world seemed to have stopped, only those five words spoken by Swayam rang in my head.
Suddenly, I felt like a nonentity. Here, I had been thinking where I had gone wrong, and there my boyfriend, perhaps my ex-boyfriend did not even take six months to switch over to another girl.
When they told me he was dating Aashi, I did feel bad, but when they told me it had been about six months, it just blew my lid. The world around me came crashing down.
Not even in my wildest dreams had I thought Vicky could do such thing. Not after six freaking years of dating and courtship.
Not after two years of living together, under one roof. And obviously not after knowing, how much he used to love me.
It all now started to make sense to me.
Aashi had always been drawn a little towards him after Swayam had clearly stated he had no interest in her.
They both used to hang out when he and me had suffered a rough patch in our relationship post the footloose.
Vicky always used to stay around her to make me feel jealous -and frankly, I would be-, and she used to happily stay with him, share jokes with him, hug him publically.
When finally we both sorted out and Vicky had gone about announcing it all over the college that we both were official, I could see the visible disappointment, or rather it was jealousy on Aashi's face.
We both, me and Aashi had been friends, the best of friends since Kria and Vishakha had left, but after me getting back with Vicky, she started to draw herself back from our friendship.
I was too naive to understand it on that point of time, but now, it made complete sense to me.
***
Post that day, I thought maybe I was wrong. Maybe, our break-up wasn't meant to be, but then I could not possibly go and tell her the truth. I couldn't, it would break her to pieces.
I surely couldn't understand, how could I go overboard? How could I betray my Deewani, my Kagu?
I knew this break-up would also break her to small pieces, but the truth would have killed her. And I loved her so much, that I could take the hurt, and the hatred of hers towards me, but I could not kill her with the truth.
Here I am, with Aashi, not even knowing how I actually landed up in this phase. How did she convince me into this, and how would she be?
I looked at the baby in the cot, "would Neha ever forgive me for this?"
Who had I been kidding all the while? If she gets to know, she will ...
What would she do, she loves me right? But what have I done, what good have I done to recieve her love? I don't deserve her. Not after I betrayed her and slept with somebody else.
Not after I had made some other girl pregnant with my baby.
***
I know, I know, utterly puerile, and I'm sure you guys would have been ready to throw things at me.
Anyhow, just the gist of it.
Vicky is guilty and Neha doesn't know about the baby. 😳
Anyhow, me making a run :) I don't want to be slaughtered to death!
Adios>!
Feedback would be appreciated, criticisms more than welcome!
Ye Hai Mohabbatein
Anupamaa
Dr Aarambhi
23