Hello guys,
I'm kind of a silent member on this forum. I used to speak out here sometimes but somehow lost touch. But I'm back now and that too with an OS. This is my first time writing on this forum, hope you guys like it.
Fingers crossed.
OS- Longing
Shiv felt tiny droplets of water splash on his face, waking him from his deep slumber. He cracked open one eyelid to see his wife fresh out of the shower, standing in front of the mirror and drying her hair with her towel. He smiled involuntarily, she looked so innocent. Her face bare of any makeup and wet, open hair framing her face as she bent her body sideways to dry them. His gaze drifted down to her narrow waist that peeked at him from under her saree's pallu, teasing him with dark fantasies and bright promises of the future. He quickly shut his eyes when Anandi turned around to walk towards the cupboard to take out a fresh towel for his use and put it in the bathroom.
His mind started working on why they weren't able to progress in their relationship. They were, a few months into their marriage and quite comfortable with each other. They slept on the same bed, could comfortably indulge in casual physical contact, like holding hands or when he helped Anandi in the kitchen or when their bodies brushed each other's at night. He knew she was comfortable with him, even if she wasn't in love with him, she'd definitely developed a fondness for him that couldn't be confined to friendship. Why hadn't things progressed further still?
Restless and unable to feign sleep anymore, Shiv got up from the bed and rushed to the bathroom to take a hot shower and calm his nerves.
---
Anandi saw the water boil in the kettle and quickly added tea leaves and milk to the mixture. At times she couldn't believe how lucky she was to have found Shiv, her life partner and companion. They'd fallen into a routine. She'd wake up every morning, take a bath and get ready in front of the mirror while he watched her and she pretended not to notice that he was awake. Then she'd prepare tea for him, take it to him upstairs and 'wake' him up. But to her dismay things hadn't progressed much further than that. Even though she held his hand whenever she got the chance, regularly brushed her hand against his chest at night and even slept facing him, practically in the middle of the bed. He still hadn't gotten the hint. She didn't know what more she could do to get him to make a move.
She tried coming up with any new moves that she could try on him as she climbed the stairs to their room. She opened the door to the master bedroom and almost dropped the tray she had in hand. Shiv stood in all his male glory, his back towards the door as he rummaged through the armoire to find a shirt matching with the trousers he had on.
He was dressed early; Anandi usually laid out his clothes after she gave him tea but this morning he'd decided to shower before she had the chance to. Something is definitely bothering him, she thought as she saw him take out an old shirt that had become completely discolored. She placed he try she was carrying on the coffee table and went to the cupboard and took out a light blue shirt that would match his grey trousers well. By the time she turned around he had already buttoned up his faded one.
"Thanks, Anandiji. But I've helped myself today", he smiled at her.
She smiled back at him, recognizing the perfect opportunity she walked up to him and silently started unbuttoning his shirt. Shiv's mouth went completely dry. He couldn't even form his thoughts properly, forget speaking out coherent sentences. Unable to use his mental faculties, he held her wrists after she had managed to open all the buttons and was attempting to push the shirt off his shoulders.
"Your shirt is completely discolored, it isn't fit to be worn out of the house." She told him by way of explanation and he let go of her wrists, enjoying the feel of her fingertips on his bare skin as she took off his shirt. She helped him put his arms into the new shirt and he let her button this one up, her fingers lingering on every button a few seconds longer than necessary.
"Do you want me to throw this one away?" she asked, pointing at the faded navy blue one.
"Please don't." He almost screamed, "Actually, this is the first shirt I ever bought with my own salary. So I consider it very special. Whenever I feel glum or melancholy, I wear this shirt. It reminds me of one of the proudest moments of my life and it makes me feel much better. I know, it might be an eye-sore for you but please don't throw it away, as it means a lot to me."
"Collector sahib, I wouldn't dare throw this away. Not after what you've told me about it." She smiled, "when I saw you take out that shirt, I just knew something was wrong. I only wish that when you're sad or upset over any issue, you come to your wife first and not seek comfort in a shirt." Having made her point, Anandi put the shirt back in the armoire and was walking away when she felt his wrist tightly grip hers.
"Anandiji, I didn't intend to hurt you by saying that. I wasn't able to sleep well last night and even woke up earlier than usual, as you can see. I'm not feeling very well-rested and so my mood took a nosedive and I took out that shirt as a reflex response. I'd always come to you if I had any problem because you know that I expect the same from you."
"Jhooth!" Anandi turned around and looked him square in the eye, "You were sleeping all night. I wasn't able to sleep at all last night due to a long afternoon nap that I took yesterday. If you'd been awake, I would've figured it out or at least you would've been able to tell that I was awake too. If you don't want to share your worries with me, just let me know and I will not bother you in the future. But please, don't lie to my face."
"Anandiji" Shiv whispered as Anandi turned around to walk away in anger, but his pleading voice stopped her. "I'm really sorry", he whispered again, his eyes shut tight as if in pain.
Anandi turned around to caress his face, her heart constricting at the sight. "Just tell me what's wrong. We'll fix it together."
"I don't want to lie to you but if I do tell you what it is that's bothering me, you might lose all respect for me. You'll despise me, Anandi and I can't let that happen."
Cupping his face in her hands, Anandi said, "Nothing you say or do can ever destroy the respect I have for you in my heart. Collector sahab, I'll always have faith in you because I know that you have a clear conscience that can never wish bad thing for anyone. So tell me what's causing the trouble because I know that it's giving you a lot of pain and I can't bear to watch that."
Shiv loosened her grip on him and walked towards the window, looking out towards the garden, seeing yet unseeing what was right in front of him, he said, "Anandiji, I was never a romantic. I never thought that I'd meet someone and fall in love the conventional way. Maybe I was too traditional or maybe I just didn't believe that love was for me. Whatever it was, I always thought that my family would choose my life-partner and that I'd care for her and keep her happy. I had no doubt that I would be a faithful husband. But fate had other plans. I met you and my life hasn't been the same since. I never even realized how and when I fell in love with you. You were intelligent, beautiful, refreshing and a woman on a mission." He smiled ruefully, his glazed eyes remembering her mistrust of him and her silent perseverance.
"You were everything I ever wanted." He continued, "I was ecstatic when you agreed to marry me. I knew that you weren't in love with me but I had faith in myself, maybe too much faith. I had resolved to make you fall in love with me."
"Bas kijiye. You don't need to say anymore." Anandi said from where she'd slid onto the floor and was silently sobbing.
Shiv walked up to her and pulled her up from the ground, seating her on the bed. "Please let me speak my heart out today", he requested. She nodded in response and continued to shed tears for all the agony that she knew she'd caused him.
"I knew that your previous marriage had given you painful scars and I also knew that I had to be patient to win your love. But I didn't realize that knowing something and actually practicing it are mutually exclusive activities. Sometimes I feel like I've run out of patience, Anandiji. I don't mean to pressure you by saying this. But, at times my heart craves love, your love. I wish that you could just love me the way I love you. I know this is selfish and completely unfair on my part and I can't force you into loving me. I know that I need to give you more time to adjust to this marriage and I'm trying. It's just that sometimes my heart gets restless. I promise you that I will never pressure you, just let me know whenever you're ready to return my love. I'm willing to wait for as long as you want, even if it takes forever."
Shiv stood up to leave but Anandi held his hand to stop him. "Won't you let me speak now?" she asked and stood up to face him.
"After Jagiya left me, I didn't think I was capable of being loved, that I was a worthless and uncouth villager. But you came into my life and changed that. You made me feel special once again; you helped me regain my lost self-confidence. I felt that I could never love again, that I'd lost the ability to love after Jagiya's betrayal. But I was wrong, I was completely wrong. You taught how to love and I fell in love with you."
Shiv couldn't believe his ears, a jubilant smile spread on his face and tears of relief filled his eyes. "Do you really?"
"Yes" Anandi laughed, as Shiv gave her a bone-crushing hug, "Yes, I do."
Both of them laughed and cried in each other's arms. Months of pain being released in that one embrace, silent promises being made to each other. Promises of a future full of laughter, happiness and togetherness. An eternity, forever and always.
"The tea is probably getting cold," shiv said as he finally released his wife from his arms.
"It can wait," Anandi whispered as she stood up on her tip-toes to place her lips on her husband's and her arms on his chest.
"Yes, it can definitely wait." Shiv replied as he facilitated Anandi's moves.
---
Sorry, if it turned out to be really emotional or something. It wasn't my intention to make it emotional, I wanted to make I fun and funny as you can guess from the beginning of the OS but I got carried away and somehow ended up with this.
Hope you guys had as good a time reading this as I did writing this.
PS. Please hit LIKE and COMMENT as that would mean a lot to me.
PPS. Might follow up with a second part, maybe write what had initially planned. But this is it for now.
Thanks for reading, bye!!! 😃
Anupamaa
Dr Aarambhi
