State of bliss (os - Virika/ Virman)

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Dania

@Daniaax3

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Posted: 12 years ago

#31

I loved it ! It was different ! Please continue . . . And PM me

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Amii

@Amii90

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

#32

*RES* Just read it again- will comment after my break :)

EDIT

"Hey kiddo, say hello to your younger brother. Remember a big brother always looks out for his brother, he is his protector. You'll protect him won't you? Just like my brother always protected me." Virat looked up from his son, and gazed at Viren. He had always found a father in Viren, and this might be this first day as a parent but he knew he had someone who would always look out for him and hoped his son would do the same. "

The boys finally escorted their wives and their sons into the room. They had made a beautiful nursery,with one large cot for the both of them. They may not have been twins but they were just like their mothers - inseparable.

Pj!!! Obviously I loved the entire thing but these two respective pieces just made it even better- it captures the perfect emotions, relationship ties, and everything that show is failing to show nowadays! First the VV relationship which is akin to father- son relationship and this scene just speaks so much about that and the way he passes that onto their kids is amazing!! Passng love onto future generations!!

This last part is BEAUTIFUL- "they may not ahve been twins but they were just like their mothers-inseparable"- those two lil munchkins sleeping in same bed- CUTE :) Again following the legacy of love like the ones their mothers share and their fathers- its absolutely fantastic! You wrote it soo well that I can actually imagine this scene!!!

Superb, short and sweet OS but writing is first class and with your flair of creativity, it can't get any better :)

Edited by Amii90 - 12 years ago

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-Pj-

@-Pj-

Rocker

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Posted: 12 years ago

#33

Priya you just said mate. Lol all you need now is some English idioms.

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-Pj-

@-Pj-

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

#34

Originally posted by: nadianadyne
A beautiful Os :) especially love the last sentence

Glad you liked it in its entirety. The last sentence just brings it full circle :)

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-Pj-

@-Pj-

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

#35

@Ami Short and sweet, I don't think my writing as ever been described like that before. Lol. Me and a happy story is something almost unheard if till now.

Ami I think we find it easier to write with everything held together compared to the actual writers as we know what we want to see and they don't always see everything especially in Indian shows.

Virat passing his hope into his son. Hoping that his son will follow in his Baba's footsteps. As just like Jeevika and Maanvi they also share a parent and child relationship, just being boys it seems different.

I'm glad you liked the ending. I guess it was all about love.

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Sarah Ashraf

@aa_mnhs

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Posted: 12 years ago

#36

aww-mode on :D lovely os. khoon ka rishta-brothers, sounds interesting :)

i'd like to be updated with your work. please pm me whenever you write

love

Sarah

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-Pj-

@-Pj-

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

#37

Originally posted by: aa_mnhs
aww-mode on :D lovely os. khoon ka rishta-brothers, sounds interesting :)
i'd like to be updated with your work. please pm me whenever you write
love
Sarah

Thanks Sarah for reading and liking it. Khoon ka rishta brothers will be very different and cool. Imagine that two, possessive and inseperable brothers. I'll be sure to Pm you