equ. of intimacy & fidelity in marriage - Page 2

Himali,

Wonderful post and something that leads one to ponder.
Here is my take:

Emotional infidelity is far worse than physical , for it is almost equivalent to treating your spouse as a mere pleasurable thing , while thinking emotionally of someone else.

Intentions are always more dangerous than the acts themselves.
My take.

Sareeta

hey sarah and sarita dis
thank u so much for ur replies
i feel honoured

well about sarah di's reply i would like to make a point.

when sitamai was extricated from ravan's paws and she came back with ramji...
ramji made her go through 'agnipariksha'to prove her purity and sitamai was swallowed by earth-her mother to prove that she was pure and she never even thought about any other man except ramji in her whole life...

my point is that now if we are asked to go through such test, would be able to clear it the way sita mai did???
i dont think so
we meet so many people everyday that we tend to get attracted to someone...
it happens normally when this stranger possesses qualities that we were seeking in our partner but couldnt find....
what i am trying to say is that such momentory attraction is harmless unless and until we decide to take it to next level i.e. affair....

we all talk about or spouse being ur best frend....but is that really possible????
i asked the question...

if infidelity is on wife's part will it be treated the same way????

i asked this question cause ur 'man' forgets about bond of frendship when his wife's infidelity comes to light...

i have seen so many women living with their husband's infidelity....their husbands do not feel answerable to their wives.
their financial security, children, social security shut their mouths....
but unfortunately this doesnt happen in case of a man...

may be i am totally off the track...but thats what i thought.

Originally posted by: himali_kokate

hey sarah and sarita dis
thank u so much for ur replies
i feel honoured

well about sarah di's reply i would like to make a point.

when sitamai was extricated from ravan's paws and she came back with ramji...
ramji made her go through 'agnipariksha'to prove her purity and sitamai was swallowed by earth-her mother to prove that she was pure and she never even thought about any other man except ramji in her whole life...

my point is that now if we are asked to go through such test, would be able to clear it the way sita mai did???
i dont think so
we meet so many people everyday that we tend to get attracted to someone...
it happens normally when this stranger possesses qualities that we were seeking in our partner but couldnt find....
what i am trying to say is that such momentory attraction is harmless unless and until we decide to take it to next level i.e. affair....

we all talk about or spouse being ur best frend....but is that really possible????
i asked the question...

if infidelity is on wife's part will it be treated the same way????

i asked this question cause ur 'man' forgets about bond of frendship when his wife's infidelity comes to light...

i have seen so many women living with their husband's infidelity....their husbands do not feel answerable to their wives.
their financial security, children, social security shut their mouths....
but unfortunately this doesnt happen in case of a man...

may be i am totally off the track...but thats what i thought.

Completely agree with you here.

A man is more unforgiving then a women when it comes in infedility of any kind be it emotional or physical.

The main culprit being society as the saying goes its a "man's world". Thus even though female are in majority, the ration being 2:1, I think, but it being a male dominated society , the feamle are raised to beleive that their security and future lies only in her spouses hand, and failed and broken marriages are looked upon by the majority as taboo, and all these thought fed to her by her own parents and society at large.

If a women strayed, by mistake she will never be so easily forgiven more like Never.

She would be termed a characterless women, but a men straying in his weakness, would he be called characterless????? I think one knows the answer to that, No Never.

Thus be it physical or emotional fedility, they should be same for both the sexes, but it never is, is it.

In the drama we all have forgiven Jai so easily, saying in a moment of weakness he strayed, would we be that forgiving in Banis case??? And all of us being females at that.

Thats my POV to your lovely post, sorry if I bored you with my answer.

Love

Krishna

Originally posted by: kubare

Completely agree with you here.

A man is more unforgiving then a women when it comes in infedility of any kind be it emotional or physical.

The main culprit being society as the saying goes its a "man's world". Thus even though female are in majority, the ration being 2:1, I think, but it being a male dominated society , the feamle are raised to beleive that their security and future lies only in her spouses hand, and failed and broken marriages are looked upon by the majority as taboo, and all these thought fed to her by her own parents and society at large.

If a women strayed, by mistake she will never be so easily forgiven more like Never.

She would be termed a characterless women, but a men straying in his weakness, would he be called characterless????? I think one knows the answer to that, No Never.

Thus be it physical or emotional fedility, they should be same for both the sexes, but it never is, is it.

In the drama we all have forgiven Jai so easily, saying in a moment of weakness he strayed, would we be that forgiving in Banis case??? And all of us being females at that.

Thats my POV to your lovely post, sorry if I bored you with my answer.

Love

Krishna

krishnaji

u can never bore me as i like to know different POVs and thank u so much for replying

hoping to read more from u....

I agree with kubare.....unfortunately Indian society has made it seem like menare dictated by thier you know ahem...and that to cheat is just a weakness. But women are not like that therefore thier cheating is repugnent. But what this simplistic analogy fails to consider is cheating is as much of an emotional thing as physical and many many indian women dont get their emotional needs fulfilled by their husbands.

But unfortunately Money i spower and therefore since the husband holds the purse strings what he says goes. And that is hwy we see society changing slowly as more women earn money they tend to express their needs and theri rights more. A great example of that is the movie KANK, Priety was ablet o throw SRK out of the house it was her house and her money. Would she have been able to be so bold if she was astay at home Mom lving on his money?

I'm sorry I think I strayed off topic and I'm sorry for boring everyone.

I agree with kubare.....unfortunately Indian society has made it seem like menare dictated by thier you know ahem...and that to cheat is just a weakness. But women are not like that therefore thier cheating is repugnent. But what this simplistic analogy fails to consider is cheating is as much of an emotional thing as physical and many many indian women dont get their emotional needs fulfilled by their husbands.

But unfortunately Money i spower and therefore since the husband holds the purse strings what he says goes. And that is hwy we see society changing slowly as more women earn money they tend to express their needs and theri rights more. A great example of that is the movie KANK, Priety was ablet o throw SRK out of the house it was her house and her money. Would she have been able to be so bold if she was astay at home Mom lving on his money?

I'm sorry I think I strayed off topic and I'm sorry for boring everyone.

no shikara ji u havent bored anyone
ur opinions matter a lot
so please posting them... 😊

Another twist to this issue, my friend's Brother in law (sister's husband) is sending her inappropriate emails and e cards. My friend is unable to tell her sister what is happening and also the husband since she is very sure what the outcome would be.

Originally posted by: abhijit shukla

I don't know who this Jai guy is but he better be glad he is not me as my wife would have dumped his sorry self faster than one can say 'Divorce papers'.
Marraige requires fidality of body, mind and soul. Mind and sould one cannot control. Body - one can.

Notwithstanding 'Kasam se...', infidality is grounds for things ranging from divorce to Capital Punishment in various society. There is a reason for that.

wonderfully said, coz that is what I would have done to my husband in a blink of an eye...dumped him and walked off without a second glance...

Originally posted by: nbhattacharya

Another twist to this issue, my friend's Brother in law (sister's husband) is sending her inappropriate emails and e cards. My friend is unable to tell her sister what is happening and also the husband since she is very sure what the outcome would be.

ohhh its really sad.

i mean ur friend is in real mess cause she cant open her mouth as its her sisters married life is at the stake...

but i think she should just tell her husband about it provided he is understanding and has faith in her...

he could have a 'man-to-man' talk with her BIL

i think that should help since her BIL is relying on the fact tht she would not tell this to anyone as they are close relative

what say guys????

what could be the solution??????