Untangling the knots...Maya's Story
It had been a three weeks since the news had reached them that her son Raj and his fellow soldiers were missing. She watched with high expectations as Maan came home tiredly. Every day he had been making the rounds to the army offices nearby trying to get more information from them. From his tired demeanor and dejected form she could imagine that there was no news today either. She watched him trying to console Kiran as he made his way to her and gave her the rundown. It was getting harder and harder to take the lack of news.
Kiran with her waist length hair, deep dimples in both cheeks and sweet, shy, smiling nature had won her son over at first sight. He was madly in love with her and when he saw the approval in her eyes for him, he was over the moon. He begged his mother to meet the Khuranas and arrange for a wedding immediately. She had to curb her son and his enthusiasm and with a great fear in her heart she had gone to meet the Khuranas. Coming from a very modest lifestyle, she was shocked by the grandeur of the Khurana household. Despite being so rich, they were nice loving people and had agreed to the wedding if Kiran was happy with Raj. The Khuranas had accepted Raj as one of their own and Raj and Maan had developed a deep bond.
Then came the news of Kiran's father's death. Kiran had returned to work to help her flailing family. Raj had supported Kiran although he knew she was pregnant. He had been proud of her being a good daughter to her mother and a good sister to Maan. Maya found it difficult to take. She could not help compare her and her son's struggles to Maan and his mothers at that time. Maan who did not have to struggle because his sister sacrificed for him and worked. She envied Mamta too who had such a strong daughter that she never had to fight like she, Maya had to. Then came the fateful moonless night when it had all come crashing down. When Raj's first child was lost she completely lost all feeling for Kiran. She had no pity for her no sorrow for her. Kiran had put her own family before her son's child. This she could never forgive. For all the love he gave her all the sacrifices that he made for her, Raj had not come first for Kiran and as a mother she could not forgive Kiran that. No matter how much she tried to pray and contain her anger against Kiran the initial motherly feelings that she had felt towards her were lost. Raj had consoled Kiran and cared for her in his own gentle way. Maya had not found it in her to do that. The insecurities that she always had now turned into anger. The Khuranas and their life style, their affluence was all because of her son and her sacrifice. Since that day she had great pleasure in testing their patience to the limit. It was fitting punishment for them.
She had watched her daughter in law over the past three weeks. She was trying to bravely raise her two children, keeping her faith in God and trying to take care of herself and Maya. Gone was the smiling, dancing, laughing Kiran who her son had fallen in love with. She looked tired, haggard and withdrawn. There were dark circles under her eyes and she looked like she had not eaten nor slept much over the last three weeks. She watched Maan, Geet and Mamta form a circle of love around Kiran and her. Despite all the tensions, the Khuranas had managed to retain a sense of calm and faith amongst them, not wanting to scare the children. Over the past few days, they had done everything feasible to take care of her and her family.
While the prayer beads rolled on in her hand, her thoughts still lay scattered. After a few minutes Kiran came into her room with her medicine. She took it from her carefully scanning her face. It was like looking in the mirror of her past. Somehow her face reflected the same need that she had herself felt in her days of struggle. Kiran who had always taken care of her and all her demands looked on the verge of collapse. If her son had been here today he would have never let her get so sad and upset. If Raj were here today it would break his heart to see his love in so much pain. It reminded her of the day he had left for his camp. He had told her "I am leaving my heart in your care Maaji, take care of them".
Suddenly the years of anger against this young girl dissolved and the mother in her arose. Gently she approached Kiran. She slowly patted her head. As if a dam had burst, Kiran started sobbing great giant sobs in her arms. She hugged her slowly patting her head. The soothing that she was doing was soothing her own shattered self. It is true that giving of yourself can heal you more than ever and she felt that today. A sense of calm enveloped her. She felt a new resolve within her. Her path needed to change. She had to let the past hurt and anger go. This was her family, her Kiran, her grandkids and as the head of the family she was going to care for them. She held down her own tears as she consoled Kiran, patting her hair gently, giving her a chance to compose herself. As soon as the dam had burst, Kiran's tears subsided gradually and she grew apologetic.Kiran: "Sorry Maaji, I am sorry"
Maya: "sorry kyun beta?"
Kiran: "I had promised your son I would take care of you and be strong, and today I am becoming weak. It is not that I have lost faith in God, I still have full faith in him. I know that nothing has happened to him, my heart tells me he is fine. I just want to hear his voice, know that he is OK".
Maya just kept patting her head softly and let her speak. Their anxieties were the same. They both loved the same man with all their hearts. He was her son and he was Kiran's life.
Kiran: "Sorry maaji, I need to be better, stronger; I will try not to disappoint you ".
Maya: "Sorry mat bolo Kiran. Tum mera bohut khayal rakhti ho. I have never said this but you are the best person for my son and for me too. Stop crying now. See I am here with you, you don't need to worry. Now wipe your tears before the children see you upset. Look at your Mother, Kiran. Look at Maan and Geet. Since the news has come, no one in the family has had a proper meal. Let's do something for them today. Let's both make a meal for everyone. Let's show them that women in our khandan are strong and caring. For today let us put our fear aside and let our faith in God reign. Maybe somehow somewhere God will pass us in the test we are going through and we will come out successful sooner". She helped Kiran rise and wash her face. Slowly both of them made their way to the kitchen and closed the door.
Mamta, Maan and Geet who were passing by could not believe the scene they had just seen. A peaceful feeling entered their hearts. Maan's eyes were in tears to see the acceptance his Di had finally got back in her family. Geet said a quick prayer to Babaji hoping that this new understanding would always remain in her Di's life. Mamta was too overwhelmed and tears streaked down her face as Maan and Geet gathered in for a family embrace.
As they prepared the dinner plate for "bhog" to be offered to the Lord, the phone rang. Maan who was nearby had Aaravi fidgeting in his hands so he hit the speaker button.
Maan: Maan Khurana here.
Person: I am Lt. Sahni calling from the army offices Mr. Maan. Just wanted to let you know that we have been in contact with your brother in law Raj. Him and his battalion are safe and sound. There was some road blockage and due to some equipment failure they were not able to communicate with us. Please convey this to the remaining family members. Good day Mr. Khurana.
😊Hope you liked it Palin. Thanks for all your writing.
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Aami Daakini
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