Childhood experiences

It's a fact that our experiences in childhood can have a long lasting effect on all of us as adults. Childhood trauma and stressors can make or break a person.

agreed ..

nice post .. :)

yesterday's flashback helped us a lot .. .

hope they will show more of it .. i got so emotional .. :(

agree
story is becoming intresting now
looking forward for it

@ bheegi

nice post...

Sangeeta di How your topics are just so perfect ..I am Awwed by them ..so well said ..yesterday's episode was so so emotional

You have made an incredible post and I agree with you on everything!

What we go through as children shapes exactly who we become when we are older. We are who we are because of the things we grow through and the experiences we gain. I completely understand why Asad is the way he is and why Ayaan is the way he is.

Asad, has had a really tough childhood. He has had to take responsibility at a very young age. He was never able to live his childhood. He had to become a parent for Najma and the breadwinner for his family. At a very young age, when most children of his age are unaware of the harsh realities of the world he was facing them and trying to overcome them.

Some people chose to hide their problems within themselves and play pranks to show others they are happy, which is Zoya in this case and some people chose to reserve themselves because they do not want to deal with the pain associated with getting close to people and then losing them, which is Asad. That is one of the biggest reasons why Asad does not trust anyone that doesn't fit his definition of "perfect" because deep down he feels that anyone who is not "perfect" will probably end up hurting him and after everything he has gone through and seen at such a tender age I am not surprised.

This post is really amazing. I was never really able to connect the dots and always felt that Asad needed to change but your post has really made me think and about me and my siblings and how hard it was for us to adjust to and believe certain things because our parents had always sheltered us and had never told us more than we needed to know of anything, it truly made me understand that Asad is what he is because of the things he has gone through. I couldn't change myself to think like him because I never dealt with something so tragic and always had my family, grandparents, all my extended family around me supporting me and Asad probably could never think and feel like someone who has been sheltered and brought in an environment full of support and love from his family, so I really thank you for that!

Riya

Originally posted by: bheegi

It's a fact that our experiences in childhood can have a long lasting effect on all of us as adults. Childhood trauma and stressors can make or break a person.

I am glad that the makers of QH showed us some flashbacks of Asad's childhood. For me, everything falls in place now. At a time when his parents probably had a strained marriage because of his father's infidelity, Asad who was probably 7-8 years old, must have found comfort playing big brother to Ayaan. Both Rashid and Dilshaad were probably not emotionally available to Asad in those days. Dilshaad was pregnant, and then had a little Najma. She was probably too hurt, tired and distraught because of Rashid's infidelity. Rashid was probably too caught up with his two relationships. Imagine, what Asad must have gone through in those days. No wonder, Ayaan's presence in his life is so vital. Ayaan probably became his center of attention, his way of distracting himself from the domestic discord at home. That's why he became so attached to Ayaan in such a short period.

This helps us all understand why Asad is like this today- he has very few friends, his life revolves around Ayaan, his ammi and his little sister. He doesn't trust outsiders (Rashid is responsible for this) No wonder, Zoya gets to bear the brunt of his mistrusting nature.

Now, I am curious to see if we have flashbacks of Zoya's childhood. I think she is still searching for her identity. She longs to have someone she can call her own. I think that's why Dilshaad and her hospitality means so much to her. Because she doesn't have a home of her own, she has started treating the Khan residence and their problems as her own. I think this way she alienates herself from being all alone in life.

Both Asad and Zoya have many issues related to their childhood. It also explains their personalities as they are now.

Asad- the control freak and a loner as he is too scared to let go of his defenses esp after Rashid's betrayal

Zoya- too interfering and nosey- she has no one she can call her own, so is always in search for that close attachment.

This is just my opinion. Feel free to add or argue :)

Good analysis - I had noted something similar that I hope the writers will use to bond these two characters together...the realization that both did not have a father in their lives - would really give them some insight and help in their healing process...in a future episode when Asad and Zoya have their own first child, that would open a new beginning for them to undo what their parents might have done.

I quite agree with you Bheegi... the flashback was much needed and explains all what you say so well.