The layers of sleep moved away, one by one. Sounds filtering in, muted hums and voices. Lights behind his eyes. He raised his eyelids, and looked straight up at a bland white ceiling. He let his eyes travel down to the green walls around him. There was a perfume that he could smell, something that was familiar and yet unfamiliar. He sat up straight in the bed. Khushi! Where was she? His heart started pounding and he looked around wildly.
'Khushi!!' he called. She had been here, he was sure of it. He hadn't dreamt her up. He saw the laptop on the couch and a small gym bag next to it, closing his eyes and heaving a sigh of relief. Not realizing he was panting with the panic that had just now gripped his heart.
The door opened and a nurse and a doctor walked in.
'Good morning, Mr. Raizada. And how are we doing today?' the doctor asked cheerfully. He was an elderly, rotund man with twinkling grey eyes, and absolutely no hair on his head, but a salt and pepper goatee. His voice was surprisingly deep. A name tag over his heart read Dr. Andrew Tooley. He picked up the charts at the foot of the bed and looked at them, before peering up at Arnav over his reading glasses.
'I'm good.' Arnav gulped, a hint of panic in his eyes. 'Where's my wife?'
'She's outside, I think,' said the nurse, a matronly looking woman in her fifties.
Just then, the door opened and Khushi walked in. To his surprise, she was dressed in a pair of slim black jeans, a white shirt, and a black leather jacket. A pair of black UGG boots came up to her knees. Her hair was plaited and thrown over her right shoulder. She wore absolutely no makeup except her smile. He could see the diamonds in her manglasutra glinting in the open collar of her shirt. She came and stood next to Arnav, sliding her hand into his.
'There you are, Mrs. Raizada,' exclaimed the doctor. 'Well, I've got some good news and some not so good news for you,' he said turning to Arnav. 'Your vitals look good. Looks like you've made an almost full recovery. But I'd advice you to take it easy for the next couple of days. No exertion, and I mean absolutely no exertion, eh?' he winked at them both, chuckling at his own joke, causing Khushi to turn pink, 'for the next forty-eight hours. Rest, relax, you've got your wife here. Let her take care of you. Is that clear?'
Arnav could only nod, his eyes wide at this man who talked almost as much as Khushi did.
'Now,' continued the good doctor. He turned to Khushi and smiled kindly at her. 'I think we can let him go home today, my dear. But make sure he gets that rest.' She nodded obediently.
He was putting down the charts when Khushi spoke, 'you said some not so good news. What is it?' She was looking a little scared, and Arnav squeezed her hand.
'Ah! that. You're sugar levels are slightly elevated. So we need to get that down. You'll need to get a follow up done on it within the next week. I suspect it may be because of what happened yesterday, but I don't want to take any chances, eh. You might also get headaches every now and then. I'll have a prescription ready for you along with your papers at the reception and you can pick them up when you go home.'
'Thank you, doctor,' Khushi was more than overjoyed to hear it. As soon as the door closed behind him, she turned around and hugged Arnav. Words kept failing her, she who could talk nineteen to the dozen had no words for what she was feeling right now. He squeezed her right back, but drew back when she went to kiss him.
'Khushi, I want to brush my teeth,' he said, laughing at her annoyed face. 'By the way, do I have any clothes?' looking down at green and white printed hospital gown that was all he had on.
'They gave us your clothes and stuff last night. Akash took it back to the hotel with him to get them cleaned, but your wallet and phone is with me. He also sent some of his clothes this morning, so you could change,' she said, digging through the bag and finding a tee, some warmups, and a jacket.
'It's better than nothing,' Arnav grumbled, as he swung his legs out of bed. She hurried to help him. 'I'm okay, Khushi,' he sounded irritable. One look at the hurt in her eyes and he stopped immediately. 'I didn't mean that, I'm sorry,' he said, softly.
She nodded and stepped back, keeping a careful eye on him as he went into the bathroom. She called Akash who was waiting out front and told him that Arnav had been discharged.
Arnav came out of the bathroom, looking a little better. 'Where's my phone, Khushi?' he asked. She dug it out of her purse and handed it to him. He turned it on and scrolled through the calls frowning. 'I need to go to the office today,' he mumbled.
'You heard what the doctor said. You need to rest for the next couple of days,' she said softly, placatingly, laying a hand on his chest. He looked at the hand, then raised it to his lips, and kissed it, his stubble prickling against it.
His other arm came around her waist and he pulled her close, a smile breaking through his features as he saw her mouth drop open.
'The doctor said no exertion,' she gasped.
'This,' he said, as he grazed his lips along her jaw, 'isn't exertion.' He kissed her cheek, letting her feel his warm breath against her ear. Her eyes drifted shut, as familiar long-lost feelings surfaced, her breath deepening in anticipation. His mouth was leaving a trail of fire towards hers.
The door opened and Akash walked in, stopping immediately at the scene in front of him, his eyes opening wide. Somehow, it never failed to embarrass him to see his brother making out with his wife.
'Next time, Akash, knock,' Arnav growled, holding on to Khushi who was trying to discreetly wriggle out of his arms. He let her go reluctantly, but still kept an arm around her.
'Sorry, bhai,' Akash had slowly turned a very pale shade of red. 'I've got the discharge papers and the prescription. Ready to go?'
Arnav nodded and they headed out the door.
At the hotel, Khushi and Akash settled Arnav in the bed in her room, although he very vociferously said that he was okay, and didn't need to be in bed.
'Stay there,' she ordered.
There was a knock on the door and Lavanya and Payal trooped in. Arnav was exasperated. Was he not going to get some quiet time with his wife? But he couldn't ignore the feeling of happiness bubbling up in his heart to have so many of his near and dear ones around him. These people loved him, and for the first time in his life, he was content to accept their care and concern for him. They stayed awhile, lunch was ordered in, chatting about what they planned to do for the rest of the day. Khushi decided to stay in with him, while they went to catch one of the other catwalks. It was only when they noticed him drooping that they left.
He yawned mightily as Khushi let them out the door and shut it. Then he held out his hand to her. She came over and put her hand in his and he pulled her over, she sat down next to him.
'Lie down next to me,' his husky tones sent frissons down her back.
She took off her boots and lay down, curling up next to him, her head on his shoulder, arms around each other. Only when his breathing evened out, did she allow the tears to leak through her lashes. She stared at his face, drinking in the sight of him sleeping peacefully. There was so much love she had for this man, so much pain that was there in loving this man, but she wouldn't have it any other way. She needed him like air, and only now was feeling it flowing into her lungs. They hadn't talked yet. So much had happened in the past four years! What had happened to him? What was his life like now? And did she have a place in it, she wondered. So much had happened to her, how would he take it?
*****
Arnav had come by taxi the previous day, so Khushi and he decided to go to his place in the evening, to pack a few things, so he could move into the hotel. The taxi came to a halt in front of a very modern looking high rise, all steel and glass, in one of the suburbs. He led her to the elevators and swiped a card before pushing the button for the top floor. The lift swooshed up, taking its time to get to the thirtieth floor. They both stood in silence, awkwardness building up from him and hitting her in waves. She crossed her arms across her chest, not realizing the defensive stance was giving her away in Arnav's eyes. The lift halted and he gestured towards the right. She followed him down a hallway and waited while he unlocked the last door on the left. He opened it and let her in.
She stepped into the living room and gasped! To the right was a wall of sheer glass, looking out onto a terrace. In front of her was the rest of the living room, done up in the colors of the desert, a pillar stood in the middle painted five shades darker, with a fireplace at the bottom, effectively dividing the room into two parts. A large TV hung on the wall. Comfortable rust colored leather couches lined the curved walls. The whole decor was country style, but there were potted plants around, bringing in the green of an oasis. The cushions on the couches were all brightly coloured, yellows and rusts, reds and blues and greens. The room was colourful! Even the stones around the fireplace had been inlaid with a colored Mexican style mosaic in white and royal blue and red depicting a salamander. Three words - comfortable and elegant.
She was puzzled. Arnav did not like colors. His wardrobe was monochromatic. His room at Shantivan had been very muted, yet this room smacked of someone that loved color! Someone like her, from four years ago.
He was looking at her, waiting on her approval.
'Arnavji, did you design this room yourself?' she asked slowly. He nodded. 'But you...,' she stopped. This room had been decorated before he knew who he was. Had he changed so much, then?
He watched her walk through the room. It was a smallish apartment, compared to Shantivan, he knew. His bedroom there would probably fit in the entire living room and the kitchen. The bedroom here was a surprise to her. Being a corner apartment, one wall was sheer glass, the second had French windows leading to the terrace. The walls were painted an olive green, with one wall accented by a color three shades darker. The furniture was all dark here, black and mahogany. The comforter was white as were the pillows. This was a starker room. More like the ASR she knew. He followed her in, going to the walk-in closet to drag out a suitcase and starting to take clothes out.
She stood there awkwardly, hands in her pockets, not quite knowing what to do with herself. He glanced up at her and smiled. 'Go check out the rest of the flat ' all two thousand square feet of it!'
The den was a small room off the living room. It was neat, uncluttered and very masculine. She wandered over to the TV and realized that there was a collection of DVDs under it. She flipped through the titles idly, and then her mouth dropped open. There were Salman Khan movies! DVD after DVD ' some open and some still in their plastic seals. He didn't even LIKE Salman Khan!
Holding the DVDs in her hand, she went to the corridor leading to the master suite. The bedroom door was ajar and she could hear him talking on the phone.
'It's just for a few days, Joannie,' he was saying. There was a note of annoyance in his voice. A pause. 'I was in the hospital, dammit!'. Pause. 'No. No. You can't come over, I'm leaving in a bit.'
Khushi knocked on the door and pushed it open. He looked up and saw her, her eyes wide and questioning. 'I'll call you later. Bye,' he said, before turning off the phone.
Joannie? Who was Joannie? she wanted to ask, yet deep down was afraid to. He smiled at her and raised his eyebrows, looking at the DVDs in her hands. She looked down at them and then up at him.
'Arnavji, you don't even like Salman Khan movies. But you have the DVDs?' her voice was small, hesitant.
The smile was gone from his face. He went back to his packing. She stood there, waiting for an answer. He turned around and saw her still standing there, looking so lost. Came over, and took the DVDs from her hands and tossed them on the bed. 'Come on, I want to show you something,' he said. He led her to the French windows, and opened the first door. She shivered as she felt the cold night air on her shirt, the jacket lying in the living room where she'd taken it off.
He got a parka for her from the closet and helped her put it on, shrugging on a light jacked himself. She was almost lost in his big jacket, the hood falling over her eyes. He laughed as he pushed it back a little, before opening the doors and leading her out to the terrace.
Dusk had fallen and in front of her were the twinkling lights of the city. To her left she could see the outline of the Toronto skyline, the graceful sweep of La Tour CN rising above the skyscrapers. Beyond the lights, spread out before her eyes, lay Lake Ontario, just a shade darker than the sky. The full moon already shone in the East and the water reflected it like a silver ribbon to the end of the earth. A few clouds darkened the sky in the West. Snowflakes drifted by, and one landed on her nose. She shivered in delight. Her eyes and mouth already wide at the grandeur of the scene before her. She held on to the cold railing, her fingers freezing, when he put an arm on each side of her, blocking her in, letting her feel his warmth on her back. He peered at her, and grinned. Her nose was red.
'Your nose is red,' he said teasingly. She brushed at it with her fingers and smiled looking up at him. Memories of the many times he'd teased her about her nose in both their eyes. 'Let's go inside,' he said, holding her hands noting how cold they'd gotten.
'It's so cold,' she complained, rubbing her hands together to warm them, as they walked back into the warmth of the room.
'You need some really warm clothes if you have to live in Canada,' he hadn't thought through this sentence before it slipped out of his mouth. She swung around at him, surprised.
'Live in Canada?' she asked surprised.
He shook his head, cursing himself for his thoughtlessness. 'I meant, anybody who lives in Canada, needs warm clothes,' he amended.
Khushi drove them back in his black CUV, to the hotel. He had been feeling much better, but was worried that she'd been so quiet. It wasn't like her. But he was also pleasantly surprised at how competently she drove. That night they called up home, talking to Nani and Di. Although, the best gift he had was talking to Aarav. For four years, the little boy had seen his Mom go through changes that he barely understood. Now, all of a sudden, his Dad was back and Mom sounded happy. She was actually laughing again.
It was late when they finally hung up. Khushi crawled into bed and watched as Arnav went to the bathroom. How strange, she thought. After four years, I am with him, but now what? Will everything go back to being the same way it was before?
He came back into the room and for a moment stood gazing his fill at her laying in bed, looking at him with shadows in her eyes. He got into bed, next to her and lay down, turning on his side facing her. Slowly he reached out a hand to hold hers. Sighing peacefully, his eyelids fluttered close as he fell asleep.
62