T'was the eve of RK's new film poster launch party. A party for some cheezy romantic flick that he managed to pull off along with two other movies: an action film and "a potential oscar nominee"- his words, not mine. Apparently, the witch-faced heroine was personally picked by my hubby. He described her as "Rekha-esque". When inquired, he said something that was meant for my ears only, she is not even comparable to Rekhaji but he has to say such things to attract media attention. Now, I don't know what to believe, his words to the press or his words to me. He is such a good actor that I find it hard to pinpoint when he is being honest.
He was dancing with the most beautiful girl in the party. I know I called her witch-faced a minute ago but that was my inner Biwi talking. She was pretty; there was nothing wrong with face, her acting skills are another question though. I was fuming at the sight of her drool dripping all over him (figuratively of course). I lit up like a Christmas tree seeing him touch her glossy body. I thought our moment was special but I was surprised to see him recreate the same with a woman who was a stranger to his emotions. The performer at the event asked me to join him in chorus, I jumped at the opportunity as it suited my mood and the message I wished to deliver to my beau. I sang with all my heart:
Don't forget who's taking you home and in whose arms you're gonna be.
So darling save the last dance for me.
Yes, I called him my beau. If you remember, I already know I love him. And, in my head he is MINE only. I realized I was no longer in control of my feelings so I decided it was best to stop. I grabbed a seat deep in the crowd where I could not be easily detected and started chugging down glasses of water. A short, chubby man suddenly blocked my field of vision. It was none other than Bittuji holding a boatload of appetizers. He placed them on the table and sat beside me. Then, he started a casual conversation which took a turn for the worst. I was stuck listening to his stories of how he hated all the assistants in Bollywood for having a life. "How could they be disloyal to their chiefs by getting a girlfriend or worse- marrying someone", he stated in a pitiable tone. Now, I know I am supposed to be the goodie two shoes who helps everyone. But, right now the only eyes and ears I got are for my man. And, my man is dancing with another woman. I chugged about a pink of an unknown liquid down my throat. It tasted funny, and of course, it was hard liquor. Well, fasten your seatbelts cause it is going to be a bumpy ride ahead on S.S. drunk Madhubala.
Note: All the events past this sentence are a mix of my recollection of last night's events and a description courtesy of my self-proclaimed friend Bittuji. I deeply regret my actions and will be sure not repeat them ever in my lifetime.
Bittuji and I decided it was best to head home before my drunk, hallucinating self took over. RK, however, was not having any of our lame excuses.
RK: "Bittuji, kohinoor ka heera, dur duniya se chupa ke rakhne ke liye nahi, logon ko shaan se dikhane ke liye hota hai".
I blushed at the compliment. He continued,"Biwi, tumhara kohinoor toh yahan khada hai aur tum use free mein numaayish pe laga ke jaa rahi ho"?
Again, by now I should have expected him to mock me but no! I always fall for his tricks. As I was recovering from his last remark, the word vomit started. "Jaaon nahi toh aur kya karoon. Meri taraf mud ke bhi dekha hai? Jabse aaye ho uss, uss bhootni se chipke huye ho", I claimed pointing at a certain someone. She did not notice me but my hubby was rather amused by my envy.
A terrified Bittuji was quick to shift into damage control mode, "Chief bhabhiji ne galati se''.sharab. Chief voh maine apne liye mangayi thi. Lekin''.."
This was the first time RK was sober at a party. Thanks, in part, to my drunken state, he was unable to drink, dance or get any closer to that witch-face, man stealing heroine. Anyways, back to what happened-
"Bittuji, zindagi mein pehli bar aapne bina pooche meri baat samajhli". He gathered everyone's attention and announced, " mere liye party ka the end. RK and biwi out. Peace".
Somehow, we were back in the house again. Don't ask me what happened since I was not in the state to remember. I knew he was ready to get a confession out of me seeing as I was in a vulnerable state. Surprisingly, he did no such thing. I guess he wanted my feelings to be sincere and not be deemed a mistake.
In the morning, RK was nowhere to be found. I was too hung-over to make an effort and find his whereabouts. However, it was about time for a face-to-face encounter with the dreaded Rishabh Kundra.
Me: "RK kal raat meine kuch, mera matlab hai"
RK: "Haan Biwi tum kuch kehna chahti thi kal raat"
Me: Kya kaha meine. Koyi aisee waisee baat toh?
RK: "Biwi saari raat tum bakri ki tarah mein, mein, mein pe hi atki rahi, aage toh kuch kaha hi nahi"
Me: Thank God.
RK: Kyun Biwi? Tumhe kya nuclear bumb ke code pata hain jo RK ko bata diye to kayaamat aa jayegi?
Me: RK please kal raat kuch hua toh nahi? Meine koyi tamasha''
RK: Biwi, tum toh itni seedhi ho ke chah kar bhi tamasha nahi kar sakti phir anjaane mein toh naamumkin. Madhu, kal raat aisa kuch nahi hua jo nahi hona chahiye tha.
Now what does he mean by that? I will figure it out later. There is a much important issue at hand. The three magic words that I have been dying to say all this while: "RK mein tumse kuch kehna chahti hoon"
"Mein sun raha hoon Madhu"
"I was wrong", I said without hesitation.
His expression changed from excitement to despair. What? Don't give me that look. What did you think I was going to say? Oh'''...so you were waiting for that. There is time for that. I will make sure you wait a long time before I ever confess.
Pati Patni Aur Panga
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
