3/10 Dragon Club: Search and Retrieve

It is difficult to watch Aarti stumble through her fear, insecurity, pain and confusion while trying to project the demeanour of one who has her life and plans under control. Every moment she grasps at control it is slipping through her fingers, and soon it will desert her entirely, be it control over her body, thanks to the little one inside and the problems associated with the pregnancy or emotional control, trying to reign in her feelings and try not to think about the gigantic step she has just taken and its ramifications. She is falling apart from the inside and refuses to admit it. After all, she is a proud woman who has held her head high in the face of all kinds of adversity; what's one more time? Right?

As we discussed yesterday, this is not just about her baby. It is about Prashant and the pain of his abandonment finally rearing its ugly head. A wound that she had not allowed to heal for lack of time, lay festering under the careless bandages she put on to conceal it, even from herself. Yash, with his violent behaviour and his cutting and decisive words about that night being a sin, has ripped that bandage off, and the pain is too much for Aarti to bear. She is running away from a complexity she cannot fathom in a haze of pain and inner turmoil, the faces and deeds of Yash and Prashant blurring in her mind's eye. She finds herself back, and completely stuck, in that moment so many years ago when she stood in the driveway begging, as Prashant drove off, abandoning her and her unborn child, and so i the present moment, everything blurs out of focus except three people: her, her unborn child and the child's father.

Didn't we always say they were soul mates? Yash, in his worst state of rage, guilt and self loathing said things to Aarti, that though they were harsh and unfair, ultimately held a mirror up to her soul and forced her to confront the dark things lurking there, things that she had long locked up and vowed never to set eyes on again. Yash, though in a state where even rationality could not reach him and with his harsh words and actions, delved further into Aarti's psyche than he would have been able to even by knowing the truth of her past. This way her past and her pain is not explained to Yash but actually experienced by him, because he was the instigator, the one who unfettered her feelings of vulnerability, loneliness, longing, rejection and worthlessness.

Aarti paved the path that allowed Yash to let go of his past by embracing it with him. She stilled the burning need for him to defend the legitimacy of his love for Arpita from those who refused to understand her special and unique place in his life. Arpita's absence went from being a painful torment to Yash's existence, to a peacefully accepted fact, leading to a clear and beautiful memory, always to be cherished but not at the cost of those who needed him now. Hence we see the new picture that occupies the place of honour in his wallet. But just as Yash embraced the present, and let go of the past, Aarti was sucked back and the real beauty lies in the fact that to help Aarti fully confront and defeat the ghouls of her past, Yash will actually atone for Prashant's sins.

And what is even more beautiful than that is that I am pretty sure he is going to do it through the very baby that Prashant left behind all those years ago. Today Ansh reluctantly relinquished his childhood once more seeing the desperation in his mother's voice and demeanour. He wanted this so badly to be the game she was talking about, but the minute she asked him, "will you help me?" I could literally see the weight falling on the little shoulders as he took up his old burden once more and promised to take care of his mother. It really gives you perspective on the scope of Ansh's transformation into the child he really was under Yash and Aarti's joint care, when you see him go back to what he had to be before Yash entered their lives. I was despairing for a while after the episode, I will admit, and ready to shake the living daylights out of Aarti for inflicting this on all three kids, who have seen enough loneliness and abandonment in their young lives. But there is so much hope, if we consider the moments we have seen lately in the Yash - Ansh relationship!

In the precap they showed Ansh seeing Yash, and pointing him out to Aarti. We know that Aarti will take Ansh and try to hide from Yash but the important thing to know is that Ansh knows his father is really playing the game in earnest, he knows he is looking for them. This takes me back to the arm wrestling scene of a few days ago, when Ansh winked up at his father and said "jeetne do na," and Yash immediately relented. These two do not play for keeps because they are on the same side and always will be. Why do I have a feeling that Ansh will let his father win this game, the way Yash let him win that one? Earlier, during the party, Ansh used Yash's phone to call Aarti; might he use Aarti's to call Yash? Finally, I am not sure just yet what the significance of the tickets being in Ansh's pocket is, but you can be sure it means something.

I have a feeling that Aarti and Ansh are not going to leave the bus stand. My prediction is that Aarti will faint before boarding the bus, and Ansh will call Yash. Then, at the hospital, news of the pregnancy complication will be revealed so we have no time for Yash's feelings to be articulated, before things get really focused on the high risk pregnancy. Perfect way to stall his confrontation of his feelings, which I don't want just yet. I want me some tension!

And I conclude with my thoughts about the Paridhi track. Leena gave an incredibly powerful performance and I take my hat off to her! It's really a riveting and emotionally fraught story they are weaving, and Leena is completely sinking her teeth into it! It really goes to show how much thought they put in when I am equally interested in her as I am Aarti and Yash. I would totally watch an independent show about Prateek and Paridhi's marriage if such a thing existed. And the parallels are amazing with the Aarti-Yash track...both drunken encounters, both called "paap," for different reasons, and both having the video element in them.

I liked the complexity of the producer's character too. Paridhi was being irregular for shootings because she was trying to balance family and work. He blackmailed her so that if she wanted to keep her family intact, she would have to go to work or he would show her family the MMS. Basically, he trapped her into being his slave. Pari is not relenting how but when his threats become more and more real, we don't know what decision she might feel forced to take for the well being of her family. Gosh! And Aarti had so much support if you think about it, from Shobha, from Vidhi, and even Gaya and SP after a while. But Paridhi has nobody. Her mom thinks it's backwards to tell her what to do, and she went behind everyone's back to do this, so she can't confide in her new family either. She is in a really, really sad and scary position and I feel terrible for her.