From Purvi's perspective

Yes I know...you can all gape in surprise, mouths open, do a total double-take that Arjun's forum mama...who is fiercely protective of her ladla...is about to try to soften things in favor of the girl that is going to break his heart (and mine of course...truly).

You are truly a warm hearted mama! The world needs more wonderful souls like you!

Will come back in a bit to comment some more

Dear Arch,

Arch,

Excellent piece on Purvi and coming from you (Arjun's mama) its worth a million times more.

Before I start... the point I quoted below from ur post has made me emotional - that's how well and strongly u had written Purvi's plight.

I have always felt that Purvi herself may consider Archu her mom and vice versa... but she has never been able to let go of the fact that she is adopted. and her "FAMILY" never lets her forget it either. When an adopted child grows up hearing that she is adopted continuously, she can never truly feel as part of the family... no matter how much she is loved. I'm sure yday was not the 1st time Manju made her comment about Purvi being adopted and through the years Purvi may have heard this from her extended family and neighbours alike. She will always feel that there is a debt to be repaid.

Im not upset with Purvi for her decision... I'm upset that she feels the need to keep it to herself and not share with Arjun. I wish we could have seen an open convo... she shares with him... Arjun tries to change her mind, but regardless she still goes ahead with her plan. But its out there between her and Arjun. Anyway... that's probably all wishful thinking.

On a side note: It seems as if the CVs don't know how to write love, happiness, communication, trust and support. But they sure are excellent at writing scripts and dialogues for deceit, manipulation (as seen by the excellent choice of words Ovi had yday).

Originally posted by: archverma10

Which is her insecurity and that feeling of indebtedness because Archana rescued, adopted and raised her. Its that feeling that there is a debt to be paid and she has to pay it. See, the whole obsession with her Aai has nothing to do with her personality or whether her love for Arjun is greater or not. When you drill right down to it...the notion that Purvi is Archana's full fledged daughter regardless of whether it is biologically so or not is a bunch of BS and they all know it...most of all the poor girl herself. It is not about whether or not Archana has accepted Purvi as her daughter whole-heartedly---or the fact that Manav has not-----it is that Purvi has been unable to believe it of herself. Deep down, she has not accepted herself as her Aai's daughter. Purvi will never forget the fact that she is adopted and not a Karanjakar/Deshmukh by blood. And in a society where blood counts for most things...she will never feel that security or sense of entitlement that Ovi, Teju, and even Sachin have (although Sachin is adopted by Manav and Archana, he is still Savita and Damodar's own grandson as his father was their younger son...and hence, still a Deshmukh by blood) This is a mental, moral, and very, very heartbreaking inner struggle that is a lot more traumatizing than most of you think...and no matter what kind of happiness life brings her way...it will be a baggage she will never be able to unload. It is there for life, and something she will take to her grave. Even if the best had happened, and she had ended up happily married to Arjun, a part of her would always from time to time wonder if an orphan like her deserves such happiness.

i m speechless right now...i think every word of urs is right somewhere or the other...right now purvi is in dilemma that whom she choose her love or her mother happiness...i always gonna support purvi even if she sacrifice her love as i think that ARVI will be together after her sacrifice also...but i really feel sad for arjun that hw he is gonna deal with this situation and i m sure that it will going to be really painful for him...

Arch, so glad you feel this way. I wrote this a couple of weeks ago when another member called Purvi selfish that I would consider it selfish on Purvi's part if she at least did not consider the sacrifice route for the sake of her mother's happiness, it would be unnatural for any daughter not to do so.

Poor girl (even though she is being idiotic) has never felt she deserved or is deserving of her happiness. Right from the beginning, she has wondered if she (she says middle class girl but as you point out it is more deep-rooted than that) has the right to love and be loved by Arjun, add to that a crazed sister who will go to any lengths to get the man she wants, who has resorted to the worst kind of emotional blackmail. What is Purvi to do especially in light of Archana's repeated non-reassurances?

Ovi is extremely adroit at this or is it Punni's hateful hand behind it all? Punni knows Purvi well and probably her weaknesses too and Ovi hits straight and hard at Purvi's Achilles' heel. Ovi's play on the use of "my" and "our" Aai is beyond clever. It is not Savita's upbringing this, Savita is way too open and blunt, this wily use of words comes from the karanjkar blood, either Punni's or Ovi's herself, I cannot imagine Punni coaching Ovi on the exact use of words so the baseness must all be attributed to Archana's ladli, Ovi Ma'am. Ovi fell and rose in my estimation yesterday, she has been transformed into a full-fledged negative character as of last night's epi, she is not as helpless or befuddled as she appears, there is a cold, calculating mind behind that childlike exterior. I hope Arjun catches the next plane out to Canada or Timbuktu or wherever away from the clutches of this manic madness. He can return to claim Purvi after all the muck has settled in the Deshmuck household.

Arch, fabulous post, loved the warm, caring, insightful way that you have written about my ladli. She is truly a gem and so are you!

Abhi, Arjun does put Purvi above all else except for that once when it came to his father and father's reputation, he did put Purvi second even if the intent was to correct the situation right away (had to point out my danaad's one mistake), I am talking about the engagement fiasco. Of course, Purvi at this juncture if she is allowed to go through with her sacrifice has no thoughts of retracing her steps. My heart goes out to her.

I second that, Jyothi.
1) nobody can convince me now either that Ovi is not a conniving chick. She plays dirty even with family and that is not kosher.

2) I dislike Archana at this point, where is her recollection of events? Just yesterday morning at the courthouse, she told Sachin she was doing this for him and his happiness. So what has this talk of Ovi's engagement gone south have to do with her initial awful display of a gold digger at Punni's engagement or her insistence on hiding Savita's duplicity and/or all the myriad other totally spineless idiotic things she has done in the past 6 months that has led her to this point?

3) just as Arch can be generous to her "maybe to be bahu", I can feel for my "damaad to be hopefully" and applaud your "stupid is as stupid does" statement about Purvi. I hope and that is lot of hoping, that she does have the decency and courtesy to tell Arjun about Ovi's offer to buy him from Purvi initially and this latest "small khushi" (how dare she call it that? 😡) barter exchange your CC has proposed.

Archana lovely post my dear.. You have penned down Purvi's inner thoughts so beautifully.. and I agree.. Every time Purvi talks to Archana about her family you get the feeling that she feels that she is an outsider.. I know Archana loves Purvi as her own but Purvi does feel that she is actually not a part of her Aai's family which is a bitter truth. She loves her Aai more than any thing in the world not because Archana brought her up even though she is not her blood but simply because Archana is her mother. Archana will always be Purvi's mother and that is a fact. May be things would have been different had Purvi grown up with Ovi and Teju but I guess that is something we will never know.

Dear Archana,

Superbly and sensitively argued, and also very PC. I would have expected nothing less from you.

But all of this psychology lesson gets us nowhere in practical terms, and I have truly neither the time nor the patience to cook up briefs in defence of Purvi. I am sorry, but to me your whole post sounds like one of the spiels of psychiatrists when they try for a lesser sentence for a juvenile delinquent. I could make up an equally cogent defence of Ovi. Would you buy that?

I have only one question for you. What about Arjun? Why should he pay for Purvi's emotional baggage?

Don't try to kid yourself, and try to kid me by saying that it is not that she does not love him. The fact is that she does not love him enough. I always knew that anyway. What is worse, she got his total devotion on a plate, without having to lift a finger for it, so she takes it for granted.

Well, he has to pay for his mistakes, and as I have noted elsewhere, the worst mistake he made was to fall for this girl, for whom he comes after her aai, her baba, her Soham dada, and maybe a few others. Worse, he is so besotted with her that he can see nothing coming until it hits him like a freight train. Watch today's precap, and tell me if you can forgive her for what she is going to do to him.

I have no excuses for Purvi. I hope she falls flat on her face, and ends up with nothing to show for the promises she is going to break and the love she is preparing to abandon without a backward glance.

As you can see, I am, unlike Jyothi, not "generous to a fault'. I look after mine, and the others can look after their own.

Shyamala

Originally posted by: archverma10

Yes I know...you can all gape in surprise, mouths open, do a total double-take that Arjun's forum mama...who is fiercely protective of her ladla...is about to try to soften things in favor of the girl that is going to break his heart (and mine of course...truly).

However, please bear with me in this...even if it is out of sheer politeness and courtesy if need be. So here goes:

In all this drama, and of course Ovi coming through as we knew she would...nothing happened that wasnt already anticipated. We knew this was going to happen on Ovi/Punni's part...I would have been totally surprised if it wasnt.

But the caveat is not in the facts themselves: Archana's separation from her family and the coming end of her marriage. It is that somehow Ovi manages to put it in such a way to Purvi as to make her feel directly responsible for it. " My Aai lost her entire family and stayed without them for 18 years because of you. Since she gave up my father and her family and 18 years of her life for you...can you not do this one thing for her?" Now the argument itself is ridiculous--and entirely untrue-that is agreed. But what Ovi succeeds here in doing is not about the actual argument itself. She has put it in such a way to hit Purvi where she is most vulnerable.

Which is her insecurity and that feeling of indebtedness because Archana rescued, adopted and raised her. Its that feeling that there is a debt to be paid and she has to pay it. See, the whole obsession with her Aai has nothing to do with her personality or whether her love for Arjun is greater or not. When you drill right down to it...the notion that Purvi is Archana's full fledged daughter regardless of whether it is biologically so or not is a bunch of BS and they all know it...most of all the poor girl herself. It is not about whether or not Archana has accepted Purvi as her daughter whole-heartedly---or the fact that Manav has not-----it is that Purvi has been unable to believe it of herself. Deep down, she has not accepted herself as her Aai's daughter. Purvi will never forget the fact that she is adopted and not a Karanjakar/Deshmukh by blood. And in a society where blood counts for most things...she will never feel that security or sense of entitlement that Ovi, Teju, and even Sachin have (although Sachin is adopted by Manav and Archana, he is still Savita and Damodar's own grandson as his father was their younger son...and hence, still a Deshmukh by blood) This is a mental, moral, and very, very heartbreaking inner struggle that is a lot more traumatizing than most of you think...and no matter what kind of happiness life brings her way...it will be a baggage she will never be able to unload. It is there for life, and something she will take to her grave. Even if the best had happened, and she had ended up happily married to Arjun, a part of her would always from time to time wonder if an orphan like her deserves such happiness.

In her case, she doesnt get the solace of just a general nagging baggage. She has the bad luck to greatly love and be loved by the man who her mother's own blood daughter wants for herself...and it is her further bad luck that she came into his life long after this girl. To add to that, unfortunately, her mother is anything but happy...the fact is that she has lost her entire family...and instead of relieving Purvi's burden of guilt, she instead adds to it...by stating that the loss of her family is not something she wanted...that she wants to be with them...it is that they do not want to be with her. She also admitted that Purvi's marriage to Arjun did not make it easier...and it is plain to see that Manav's actions make it seem that the reason he doesnt accept Purvi is because of her and Arjun's love...We all, and she of course, could not have failed to notice that he was indeed warming up to her...even defending her and being concerned about her at the twins' birthday party...to the point of immediately trusting her over Punni. Once they were discovered, and Ovi was hurt, that was the end of Manav coming around. The point I am trying to make here is... if he had been consistent...and never warmed up regardless...and remained consistently cold to her that would have been one thing. You dont miss what you dont have. But unfortunately for her, she did get a small taste of that softness and affection...and has been craving that ever since. Ovi manages to somehow make Purvi feel directly responsible for her Aai and Baba's suffering and doomed relationship. Having accomplished that...she dangles the carrot...which Archana herself reinforced. She keeps saying she wants to be with them but they dont want her: Ovi says she can change that. That being said, in Purvi's mind, this is the only way Purvi can pay her Aai back. She feels that since she took away her Aai's happiness...she must now sacrifice her own to give it back.

It is not right, ridiculous, and unfair---I know. We all know that there are many reasons for the breakup of ARMAN: #1 reason being Ekta Kapoor and those idiots on the Creative Team. The slew of reasons that existed before Purvi was even born have not been revealed yet...so this is what we have.

My point to this whole thing is let us also not villify Purvi off the bat. What she is going through is very real...and very painful...and we also have to realize it is not about how much the measure of her love is for Arjun. It is an inner battle that has nothing to do with him. The trauma, pain, sense of guilt, and confusion of where you really fit in or belong is so profound and so traumatic that it is a struggle and realization one has to get through themselves---nobody can help you with it. That is what she is facing. Once she makes peace with this, forgives, and lets it go...then only will she be able to finally accept her chance at happiness and allow herself to be loved and cherished.