From Purvi's perspective

Samyb

@Samyb

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Posted: 12 years ago

#11

👍🏼well said archana i argee wid u 👏 our poor arvi!!! jus hav2 b strong 4thm!!!! 😔 jus hope thngs get better 4thm n every1 finds out wat ovi n punni did😡

love u arvi❤️

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Tulsey

@Tulsey

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Posted: 12 years ago

#12

Hi Arch, you have a very well written post. I am a very emotional person who thinks about others first before myself.

I have a mooh boli daughter who I can't adopt from India because I have a biological daugher...it is one of the Hindu laws...stupid ofcourse. She is 19 years and we have emotionally and physically adopted her as our child since she was 7. We shower so much love, attention, devotion, time and money (money because we support her and our travelling costs twice a year to visit her. When you travel to India, you have no time or money to travel anywhere else and not to forget the gifts and money you will need while in India)

This daughter has never been reciprocal and will never be, even though she is my second cousin. There are lot of outside sources to spoil things for her and remind her that she is not our biological daughter and that my own daughter will always come first.

It is a mere fact and Purvi will just have to live with that and make the best of it for HERSELF. I would consider Purvi to be a lucky girl to be given a home full of love and happiness. She can't pay it back in any which way to Archana. If at all, like many have said here, Purvi must confide in Arjun for her fears just like she told him in the car that "is it true that I am marrying you for money...!!" Same way she needs to communicate with him, so if the seperation is to happen between ARVI, Arjun is aware of why and how it happened. Never play with someone's heart that loves you so much.

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pallavi25

@pallavi25

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Posted: 12 years ago

#13

@archverma: Very beautifully written analysis of Purvi's emotional rollercoaster! 👏

For her, the deep-seated feelings of gratitude for being adopted and cherished by Archana is the main factor! For Arjun, her love and the change she brought in him is the most important thing in his life but even in his case... if his dad's life or happiness was in anyway compromised by his marriage to Purvi, then Im sure he would have had second thoughts too!

I feel Purvi MUST confide in Arjun and ask him what she shd do...then it would be a mutual decision instead of her just leaving and breaking his heart and all his dreams!

But Im afraid she will just leave on the day of the wedding without telling anyone and Ovi will manipulate somehow to marry Arjun!

Edited by pallavi25 - 12 years ago

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archverma10

@archverma10

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Posted: 12 years ago

#14

Originally posted by: sashashyam
Dear Archana,

Superbly and sensitively argued, and also very PC. I would have expected nothing less from you.

But all of this psychology lesson gets us nowhere in practical terms, and I have truly neither the time nor the patience to cook up briefs in defence of Purvi. I am sorry, but to me your whole post sounds like one of the spiels of psychiatrists when they try for a lesser sentence for a juvenile delinquent. I could make up an equally cogent defence of Ovi. Would you buy that?

I have only one question for you. What about Arjun? Why should he pay for Purvi's emotional baggage?

Don't try to kid yourself, and try to kid me by saying that it is not that she does not love him. The fact is that she does not love him enough. I always knew that anyway. What is worse, she got his total devotion on a plate, without having to lift a finger for it, so she takes it for granted.

Well, he has to pay for his mistakes, and as I have noted elsewhere, the worst mistake he made was to fall for this girl, for whom he comes after her aai, her baba, her Soham dada, and maybe a few others. Worse, he is so besotted with her that he can see nothing coming until it hits him like a freight train. Watch today's precap, and tell me if you can forgive her for what she is going to do to him.

I have no excuses for Purvi. I hope she falls flat on her face, and ends up with nothing to show for the promises she is going to break and the love she is preparing to abandon without a backward glance.

As you can see, I am, unlike Jyothi, not "generous to a fault'. I look after mine, and the others can look after their own.

Shyamala

Shyamala, I have not watched the episode or the precap yet. But I will force myself too---when it airs on Sunday---and make a judgment then as to whether or not I can forgive her. As to your question regarding a defence of Ovi--- no I would not----but then Ovi and Purvi are hardly comparable are they? I cannot hope to explain to you the feeling you get when the rug is pulled out from underneath you and you struggle to understand your own identity and your place. The inner turmoil is unexplainable and the confusion knows no bounds. Jyothi...sharing with Arjun would not make a difference. It reminds me of that famous line from the John Knowles book, "A Separate Peace." In it...a young lad comes to terms with something he has struggled with...and says " I had made a separate peace with myself." It has to come from within...she is the only one who can do that.

I have not watched the precap or the episode. I am only attempting to present Purvi's side to illustrate that it is not a selfish purely cold-hearted decision from her side. Rather only to try to understand her dilemma...as it is going to cause her immense pain too.

That being said, no- it does not excuse the fact that she doesnt spare a thought for him. This will utterly devastate him and break his heart (and as I mentioned in my very first sentence...mine as well). I know you are righteously indignant for the raw and unfair hurt this poor boy is going to go through...and frankly, I am so sad I cant even bear to think about it. As Jhanvi said, she is a naive 19 year old who somehow thinks Arjun will eventually get over this and eventually be happy. As she clearly said...she never imagined her life turning out like this...she thought she would be a middle class housewife married to someone chosen for her by her Aai and Aaji...she never even imagined she could ever fall in love and have that same person love her too...even now she simply does not realize her worth.

Since she lacks the capacity to understand anything and is utterly oblivious to the devastation he is going to feel...my only hope is that he somehow regains his composure and shows his mettle and what he is made of. He loves her deeply and to the core...and is able to understand about her what she does not seem to understand about herself. I do not know how she is going to do this either...so we have to wait to go further until then. I do not think she will disclose Ovi's part in this but I am not sure though. So I cannot speculate as to this. As far as her fears and worry over her Aai's situation...she has already confided that to him when he took her to the judge. The only thing that will save this whole thing is if she realizes that she can keep her part of the bargain and give him up...but she has no control over his actions...he is not a puppet and her the pupeteer to pull the strings.

Ultimately I have said before...many times...giving up Arjun is NOT a guarantee that something will work out between him and Ovi. How Ovi plans to assure herself a Happy Ending with him is beyond my ken. It is precisely when Arjun makes it very clear even if Purvi is lost to him...that he will NEVER be with Ovi...then perhaps that realization will finally come to her. His feelings are his and his alone...and nobody can control that...not Ovi, not Purvi, not anyone.

This sacrifice angle was anticipated long ago...and indeed we knew the wedding was not going to happen right now.

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Jaishankar

@Jaishankar

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Posted: 12 years ago

#15

Wonderful post Arch,

You perfectly put the dilemma of Purvi..Yes Purvi rightly feels indebted for Archu coz

1)Archu has given Purvi her soul ,a mother's warmth and the undoubted love to raise Purvi.

2)Time and again Archu has protected and defended Purvi against all including her own family and her daughters.

3)Its not case of adopted or biological,its case of mother's warmth and affection.Purvi is truly lucky to have a mother like Archu who has raised her by showering her with so much love,good principles and the education she needed.Purvi's identity is through Archu and Purvi knows it.

Purvi's blind love for her Baba is blinding her thoughts too.But that is understandable for a kid who has dreamed of being with her Baba right from her childhood.Purvi is as young as Ovi and is as delusional. Purvi is not able to accept the fact that Manav cannot be her Baba.She just is totally delusional to that fact unfortunately.

Archu's real happiness is Purvi's wedding.Archu has given up her hope ever re-uniting with her family. I dont agree the fact that Archu cant even say how much Archu misses her family.Cant she even say that to Purvi..Who else she say.

Purvi has not yet lost anything but gained everything through Archu,Archu has lost everything in her life and has gained a daugther's support through Purvi.The loss of Archu is in-comparable to any loss.She has lost her love of her life ,her husband ,the very man her life has been revolving around,the very man without whom her existence is void and without whom she cant imagine to even live.That love and her 3 children with one unborn child dead and one kidnapped and considered dead (Soham),all away from her and still Archu is able to live a life is something no normal person can do.

Purvi I believe sees the depth of Archu's loss as Purvi herself knows what is like to be termed "Orphan"..According to Purvi Archu is also a orphan without her family and hence she is trying her best to unite her back.Purvi has no one to unite herself to but Archu her Aai has that chance to redeem herself.

As Archu is seeking her happiness through Purvi's marriage ,Purvi is seeking her happiness through Archu's re-union with her family.

But in all this Purvi should never forget that she cannot play with one's life for other.She is seeing the effects of senseless sacrifice her Aai has done and Purvi going sacrifice path is going to destroy many lives especially Arjun and Archu.

No way Archu is going to let it happen as long as she is there.But if at all Purvi manages to fool her and do the sacrifice ,I dont think Archu will be able to handle it.IT would be the final nail in coffin for Archu and Arjun's life would be lost in the void.Its destruction with catastrophic effect.

Purvi should ideally back off from the divorce issue now.IF at all Arman have to re-unite they should do it themselves and it should be their wish.No relationship should be forced and Purvi must now try to understand that pushing Archu towards Manav and his family without both of them not interested in it due to circumstance is going to create hell in Archu and Manav's life.

If Purvi wants to help either expose the truth you know to Manav about the forged signatures or be a good solid support for your Aai in these tough times and focus on your future - Arjun.

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archverma10

@archverma10

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Posted: 12 years ago

#16

Thank u Jai my friend. You have rightly summed it up. While I do not want a vilification of Purvi I cannot at the same time excuse the devastating heartbreak my Arjun is about to face. I understand and sympathize with Purvi's dilemma soI do not want to vilify her. Call this an attempt to salvage this for the future...I don't know. But I agree with you...Purvi can do whatever she wants...but she has no right to play with his life. She needs to let her parents sort it out...and like u said it can't be forced. It had to come from them. She doesn't even know if this will guarantee Arjun for Ovi. She can separate herself from him...but she cannot make him be with Ovi. He is a human being with his own free will.

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soapwatcher1

@soapwatcher1

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Posted: 12 years ago

#17

Arch, another absolutely logical and fantastic response (to Shyamala and Jai). Yes, Purvi's has to make peace with herself and come to terms with the fact that yes, indeed she is adopted, yes, she is not her mother's "family" but she is loved nonetheless not because her mother is kind or generous (that she is) but because Purvi herself is worthy of that love. My only hope (I noticed I had used the hope several times in all of my posts today) is that Ovi does not finagle her way into the mantap.

You have said it so rightly, Arjun understands Purvi and her worth, hence his myriad reassurances (reassurances that are rightly worded unlike those of her Aai that only serve to put Purvi in a dither). There is nothing wrong in him loving her so, every individual shows their love in a different way, he is built differently from her, emotionally, that does not mean she loves him any less.

As someone said, even the brave and fierce Arjun would have given his love a second thought if his dad's life or happiness had been put at stake. In fact, the boy did put his dad's loss of face first before his love once, let us not forget that.

I hope you watched the epi online, it was touching, heart-breaking and so telling. Even Punni seemed a little lost watching the palpable love between the two, I wanted to draw a magic circle around the two to keep them safe from the evil machinations of that other girl who imagines he is hers.

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Ume Salma Kakal

@sunflower52

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Posted: 12 years ago

#18

Excellent post about what Purvi is feeling right now.

Purvi feels she has to pay Archana for giving her home, mother and grand mother. What she is failing to understand that the only payment Archana wants from her is that she lives happy in her in laws and husband.

This only Archana can make her understand which seems she has failed to do so. Archana's dual talks have confused Purvi.

Only she can stop Purvi from making such a foolish decision. Purvi is still young and she needs the assurance from her mother.

I hope someone comes and knock some sense into this girl Purvi and stop her from making this mistake.

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Old username: salvatore-nina

@FireLordPhoenix

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Posted: 12 years ago

#19

Terrific post Archana!

When I was watching that particular scene of Ovi and Purvi, my first thought was "Whoa Ovi is damn clever." I found it so conniving and slick of her to use her words in the way that she did, directly holding Purvi responsible for Archana not being reunited with her family by now. And the effect of Ovi's words could be seen on Purvi's face, the despair and hurt at being accused of as her Aai's culprit. This time Ovi didn't get Punni's help, she herself realized that the person who would gladly help her in achieving her goal is Purvi and to do that she had to have a strategic battle plan and BAM that dialogue of hers was it! She knew how much Purvi wanted her family to be together and what Archana's happiness meant to her.

That said, Purvi should really learn from Archana's mistakes. I mean, come on Purvi. She herself sees that Archana's selflessness and sacrificing brings no one any happiness and yet she wants to do the same. Archana just wants Purvi to be happy and she'll be the happiest person when Purvi marries her love Arjun. The one thing, among the many other things, that I hate about this show is how the women are always ready to sacrifice their love without taking into account their beloved's feelings. What kind of love is that? And how come Ekta always shows that sacrificial love is the best form of love? What bull😡!

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From Purvi's perspective - Page 2

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