What Women Want- KR OS

21 February 2012, Tuesday

Dear Diary,

Most men are clueless as to what women want. They say women confuse them, women are hard to understand and women are perplexing creatures. It would be nice if someone told them exactly what women want (as many are not endowed with powers that Mel Gibson had in the movie "What women want"). Reams & reams have been dedicated to this topic. It has been a subject of endless discussions. Many times, I've heard Rey (m husband), Swayam (my bestie), Dad, Papa (my F-I-L, I call him Papa) and Vicky (my bro) telling me dat IF ONLY we women tell them what we want, our relationships with each other could improve a great deal. So I wrote this somewhat tongue-in-cheek letter to my sweetheart of a hubby & also forwarded this e-mail to Ma, Mumma (my M-I-L, I call her Mumma), Sharon (Swayam's wife) & Neha (my bhabhi) so that they could fwd this to the men in their lives. Here it goes---

What women want--

A guide for men to keep that special woman in their life permanently happy & hooked! -----

Dear boy-friend/husband/current man in my life,

When we see you at the end of the day & say, "I've had a really hard day today," just hold us & give us a hug instead of asking, "Oh, really! What happened?"
Sometimes, we don't want you to make things right, we just need a hug.

When we ask you if that gorgeous, slimmer lady is more attractive than us, please say "Yes' but I'm sure she isn't that great a wife/mother u r'"
Sometimes, we just need to be assured that we matter.

When we ask you if we look fat in an outfit, please say, "it suits you well." If it really looks horrible, please say, "I think you will look better in some other outfit."
Sometimes, we just need a little straight talk.

When we ask you if you mind taking us out, even though there's a cricket match on TV, please be honest & fix a time when it will NOT interfere with your match timing. Taking us out & then glancing at your watch every 5 mins, makes us feel guilty.
Sometimes, we appreciate honesty too!

When we ask you if miss us, when you go on those outstation trips, please lie a bit & say that you can't wait to get back home, even if you're having a great time, at a five-star hotel paid for by the company.
Sometimes, we need to hear a bit of a lie too.

When we tell you that another guy seems nice, we AREN'T thinking of getting into bed with him. We are probably thinking that he would make a nice husband for that single girl-friend of ours. We ARE NOT mentally comparing you.
Sometimes, AT LEAST SOMETIMES, don't doubt our intentions.

When you are driving us back home after a nice dinner/date at a restaurant & we ask you, "Do you want to stop by for coffee?" please say yes, even if you really do not want coffee, because it means we are asking as we want to stop!
Sometimes, we like you to mind-read too!

When we sometimes complain to you about our problems, please do NOT give us solutions.
Sometimes, we just want you to listen & be sympathetic.

See--- it is so easy to please us--- how can you say you don't understand women.

With love,
The woman/better half in your life

To this my husband replied... (Don't miss the bold & CAPS words)

What men want

(The principles of being what we are- Happy & hooked to every woman)

Dear girl-friend/wife/better half/current women in my life,

At the end of the day when we come back from office, we too are tired; We have dealt with a no. of species of animals which should ideally have been extinct (read khadoos bosses, over-bearing clients, dumb-witted assistants, poky & scheming co-workers!), different from the nice type of people that we are.
A hug from you is what WE want.

We are all Mahatma Gandhi & believe in Equality (especially amongst women). When we say that a woman is gorgeous, we are referring to her INNER BEAUTY. Not in all cases do we like size zero--- in most cases, there has to be some matter.
Moreover you do matter, but her matter is also worth considering.

We always talk straight. If you think you look fat in the dress, then the other dress too may not be appropriate. And, it's NOT the fault of the dress, btw. If you don't like an honest answer then why on earth do you raise the question?

The whole of this year & the next have cricket matches already scheduled, including the IPL all year around. We will therefore definitely schedule some time to go out in 2020 assuming the BCCI & ICC go to sleep & do not fix up any further tournaments. And speaking of guilt, how is that you never feel guilty while you are constantly jabbering on the phone with your girl-friends (& maybe guy-friends) on those short/long distance calls, & ignore our presence?

When we go travelling, we use the 5 Star hotels only for sleeping. The hectic day's work dealing with animals leave us no time to come back home & dream o you & the house. And yes, we do yearn to come back home as soon as possible, but we need to work that extra bit harder to pay those telephone & add-on credit bills.

The issue is not whether we think you are thinking of getting into bed with the other guy. The issue is that he is thinking. So please refrain from coming up with such oxymorons while discussing things with us- "the other guy being a good husband". Good husbands, you will normally find, are already taken in our case. We do not like discussing hypothetical situations.

When you want coffee just say so. We do, too (and don't normally get it). 99.9999999% of are not mind readers- (the rest are idiots.) Incidentally, women too cannot read minds unless you fall into the 0.0000001% category which could be one of the reasons why I still have not got that cup of coffee.

We are good listeners; however we operate better with the TV on high volume with lots of 3D animation effects. It may be worthwhile utilizing the tape recorder and letting us listen to your problems at our leisure which would solve all the problems.
1st, you get to be heard; 2nd, you don't get to listen to any solutions & 3rd, we get to watch our cricket match.

With love,
From the man in your life.

Awesome OS. Never read something like that before. So well written.

Hope the guys got idea to never mess up with girls.

I was laughing at the last part when rey was pleading to kria not to throw him out the of the house for one week. Acha hua,he wanted to give an intelligent reply to Kria's lettter, now rey sweetheart bear the consequences. Raho apne office mein hi.

Superb dear. Love it