As I promised, a chapter on Thursday. I updated early today because I have to go somewhere. Won't be PMing anyone today...so if you do notice I updated, well and good, or I will have to return seven hours later to PM you all...
Once again, thank you for taking your time to visit Arhasia and tell me what you feel about the tings unveiling upon the land. Two massive stalkers on board: Sam and Dingle, the latter who didn't get time to edit her reserved box, but she will come soon, I know. Sam, dear, what should I say!! You are one insane Word Addict, indeed!! And I love listening to you...
Serialmaniac dear also stalked and reserved but didn't get time to come back yet. Lyraa, gently touched my 30th page with her dear comment. Artemis' short phrases tell what I did in capsule and maybe sometime later I can use her comments as subtitles to my chapters! And the rest are very dear to me: dearest Salsa(the happy spirit of this thread), Golden Dragon (whose fiery shadow keeps my story going), very understanding music1, practical purplelove, dearest barun2297, excited kushipugly, dear Harsh, breeze (whose comments always say a lot), Rose, my Shweta (one of my twin Big Sis), sweet Shass(with her admirable thoughts), and Leafs (my Mentor), angeldream...
All you guys are dear to me and your encouragement makes this story worth flourishing.
And also welcome to surbhijn and Niks, glad to have you visiting Arhasia...hope you enjoy your temporary stays here!
Chapter Twenty Two: Heartbroken
"Kushi?" Payal's voice reached out in the darkness but there was no reply.
"Kushi?"
The owner of the name was silent and Payal deduced that she must have slept.
Payal gently patted Kushi's head, turned on the other side and in a moment was fast asleep. Gradually, after assuring that the other was deep in sleep, Kushi opened her eyes and stared into the darkness. She had waited for sleep to come but it was not to visit her tonight, she was certain.
Slowly she sat up in bed and remained still and waiting. After a while, her feet touched the cold floor and she made her way to find her boots. Dressing into her faded work gown, she tiptoed out of the room, but she didn't need to be silent for the thunder was wild outside and the rain was drumming violently on the rooftops. She paused at the door of her parent's bedchamber and contemplated on whether to proceed or not. Reluctantly gathering herself, she opened the door and eased in noiselessly and without a glance to the bed, she headed for the frame behind the door, upon which her father placed the keys of the mill. Groping in the dark, she fumbled for a while until she realized that the key was not there. She looked in the direction of the bed and found to her dismay that only her mother was in bed. That meant her father had gone to the mill for some reason.
After staring at her mother for a while and thinking all sort of sad things, she slipped out of the room and made for the door to the garden. It was raining too hard and there was no way anyone could have crossed this weather by foot or horse, but Kushi was driven by pain and dejection and there was no stopping her.
Not even caring to hold the skirt of her dress up to prevent her from slipping on the hem, she ran into the downpour and raced over the fields for the mill. The rain was so heavy that it drenched her clothes and they felt heavier with each step she took. But she didn't stop. Blinded by tears and by the rain, she ran through the mud and grass, dragging her dress and courage along. Ah, courage! She needed that alright. For someone who is afraid of the dark and to be left alone and running through an eerie night especially after a deplorable experience, it is no easy feat. She needed all the courage she could cling to as she raced through the blinding rain. The thunder kept rolling overhead and once when lightning flashed across the dark sky, she hadn't been expecting it and slipped and fell upon the ground. With tears streaming down and gasping for strength and breath, she rose to her feet and staggered towards her destination. No sooner had she seen the dark wall of the mill rising before her, she knelt to the ground and cried with relief that she had at last arrived. Standing up and running the little expanse of land that distanced her from the door of the mill, she fell upon the door and at that very moment, her father opened it and emerged out of it with his umbrella.
On seeing her in the dirtied and wretched form, Shashi Gupta's heart sank and he helped her inside.
"What are you doing here at this time, Kushi?" asked her father both sternly and with worry, as he bolted the door behind her to let the rain out while he handed her a dry cloth for her to dry her wet and disheveled hair.
"I'm sorry, Babuji...but I had to," she said weakly, taking the towel from him.
"What do you mean you had to!" he was angry, and then seeing her struggling with the towel for her hands and legs were shivering, he told her in the same angry tone, "Give me that."
As he dried his child's hair, he closed his eyes, understanding. He knew why she was here. He had expected her to come. In fact that is why he stayed a while longer in the mill after clearing it up. He was waiting to see if she would come...and she did. Just when he had thought she wouldn't and was about to return.
After drying her hair, he watched her sit before the furnace he had fueled for her to get warm.
"We should go, Kushi," he said, standing near the door.
"You may go, Babuji," she said in a low voice, "I want to spend my night here."
"Alone?"
"I must."
Babuji felt hurt by a new thought, "Are you punishing yourself?"
Kushi spoke nothing. He walked towards her and placed a hand on her shoulder, "Kushibitiya?"
Kushi could hold it no longer and turning around, she embraced her father and cried with all the remaining strength left in her.
"Stop crying, bitiya, stop crying," said the father, caressing his daughter's wet hair, "My Kushibitiya is a strong girl. She will not weaken herself by mere thoughts..."
"I want to stop them from haunting me, Babuji," said Kushi, "But this night shall be in my mind just like how the night my parents left me lingered behind."
"Bitiya!" Babuji pressed her harder against his chest and laid his head into her hair. A tear fell from his eye as he saw, in his mind's eye, the little wet girl he had rescued from the river and carried to his carriage.
"Please Babuji, let me stay here tonight," said Kushi, "If Amma sends me away tomorrow, I may not see this dear place for a long time..."
"Yes, you can stay, but do not tire yourself," he said, "But I will not leave you here alone. I will be in my cabin. You can come there if you want. I will keep the spare bedding out for you."
Kushi nodded as her father released her and made for the wooden ladder at the far end of the room. Her father's cabin was a tiny metal cubicle close to the roof of the mill where he kept all his papers and plans and even some water, cold food and bedding in case they were required.
After watching her father climb into his cabin, Kushi walked into the mill main room where she lit a lantern and carrying it, walked along the aisle. All around her were machines functioning by ropes or levers and huge stoves or heating ovens that now sat cold owing to the heavy rain outside.
Hanging her lantern up at a certain height, Kushi rolled her sleeves up, put her work apron on, and began working. If I had been there I do not know if I would have stood in awe or sympathy but the father of the child, who would not be able to sleep that night knowing what his daughter was going through, watched her from above, with immense pain in his eyes. What she was about to do was hectic but she would not acknowledge his help in doing it for then she would not be able to ease her mind. If his daughter wished for the freedom to do what needed to calm herself, he was willing to give it to her as long as it wouldn't harm her which is why he watched her. Even though Kushi could do the work of four women in an hour, he would be there for her if she needed him.
She drew from the storeroom two huge sacks of cocoa beans that had already been sifted and any unwanted objects already extorted. These sacks, she emptied into a large, roasting oven. She heated the flame of the oven around 250oF and waited until an hour had passed and the beans had roasted well. As she waited, leaning aginst the wall, voices began creeping into her head.
"Stop calling me that!" her mother's voice echoed, "I cannot be a mother to a girl who brings disgrace upon her family. A family that only loves and cares for her." Kushi clenched her fists and closed her eyes.
"You always end up in the wrong, always get into mischief, always wreck people's patience and you always get into things that are better off left alone. Why? Why do you do so always?"
Opening her eyes, Kushi released her fists and headed to the storeroom again. There was a broom lying despondently there, and Kushi yanked it up and returned back to the main room. It was a huge room and the floor covered a large area, but Kushi, clenching down her struggling mind, set forth to keep herself busy. Sweeping away madly till the surface scraped, she spent an hour on the clearing the cold floor. Work, Kushi, work; work till you can think no more. Hands and feet, tire till you weaken my mind.
Soon the roasting was over and Kushi dropped the broom and went to see to it. Of course, she was too broken inside to relish the aroma of the dry, dark roasted beans.
Next, she cracked and winnowed the roasted cocoa beans and the inner 'nibs' of the beans were then crushed and broken. For your sake, I shall inform you that these 'nibs' are edible but too bitter. To make them preferably edible, they needed to be converted into chocolate liquor. Kushi did this at once by further crushing and grounding the nibs into a thick paste which is commonly called chocolate liquor though it has no alcohol in it. This was where the mill workers usually stopped the first phase, for this chocolate liquor was then either made into fine cocoa powder that can be used for milk or it was made into rich edible chocolate bars. But since the people in that village preferred buying sweetened chocolate liquor that was what they produced in quantities at the mill.
Kushi poured this thick bitter chocolate liquor into a massive pot and added sugar, butter, vanilla and milk in their right proportions and churned the mixture until it was made smooth and creamy.
Most often, the cocoa and the sugar will be grainy still and not entirely liquidized, so she had to press the mixture under huge heated steel rollers to refine the texture.
Her hands and cheeks, where she sometimes let her hands brush away a restless strand of hair, were sticky and smelled of sugar and cocoa. As she pressed down on it, she heard her mother again, What need did you have to go to the forbidden place and truce with the Lady of the Castle? What need did you have to bring the wrath of the First Lord upon yourself and your family when he had been oblivious of our existence all along? Wouldn't it have been better if we kept things as it were? Him there and us here? With no interfering?
Kushi paused, her eyes filling with suppressed tears, what answer do I have, mother? I do not know why it happened myself. It should never have happened.
And then she heard it, the evil laugh of the play king. She saw the curtain of the Temple fall and the people rising, and turning to look at her, their fingers pointed at her. And from their midst a dark figure moved forwards, coming closer to her. She knew who it was and her fear almost choked her. He came before her, dressed in the robes of the king, his crownless black head, brilliantly shinning under the moonlight.
"I will have your soul, Kushi Kumari Gupta," he smirked evilly, coming closer, his eyes deep and hungry, "You are mine."
"Ahhh!" Kushi screamed and sank onto the floor. Her gasps and wailing tore at her father's heart and he was beside her in no time.
"Babuji," she said and held him. Her father pressed her close to his heart to stop her from trembling. She was trembling all over, her hands, her feet...
"Babuji," she finally said, looking up, her eyes red with crying, "I will hate that man all my life."
Her father only caressed her cheek, and she lay her head on his chest.
After a few minutes, Kushi's weeping stopped, and her trembling had relaxed. She looked up and said, "I'm fine Babuji, I need to continue."
"I will help you."
"No, Babuji," she said, looking at him, expressionless, "I want to do this myself."
Babuji said nothing again and silently left her. He resumed his place in his cabin and watched her from above.
Kushi collected what had been refined. The mixture was finally poured into a huge 'conch,' a pot shaped like the conch shell, which also had a huge stirrer. The mixture in this machine was stirred in a gentle heat, cooled, heated slowly again, and cooled again and so on until the chocolate or shall we say 'sweetened and perfected chocolate liquor' was glossy, rich and melted well with a tantalizing flavor to both the tongue and those that caught its scent.
Kushi was relieved to be here. When she needed something to hold onto, she exhausted her frustration in making this wondrous mixture, filling the mill with an aroma that seemed to cleanse not just the air which smelt of wet wood and wet grass but also purified the aura around her that threatened to haunt her with guilt and hurt.
Once more she repeated this entire process with two new sacks of cocoa beans and before dawn was upon the lands, Kushi was in a certain extent calmed and feeling herself again. Her father having spent a sleepless night watching his daughter, climbed down his ladder and approached her as she filled the fifth barrel of chocolate liquor and sealed its lid shut.
"Now can we go?"asked her father warmly, leaning against a huge pot.
Kushi looked up and wiped the sweat off her face on her sleeve and managed to smile, "Yes, Babuji. The sooner we get home, the quicker I can tuck into bed with Jiji before she wakes up. And it's good it rained all through the night. It kept the inside of the mill cold and I didn't feel the usual heat of the ovens and furnaces at all."
Her father said nothing but waited for her to wash up and hang her apron back in its place. When she returned, she took his hand and they left the mill, locking the door behind them, leaving behind the strong scent of fresh warm chocolate and also the weight of the many hurts that had led to its making.
Yes, I know it was a Kushi-centered chapter, but I had to tell you what the girl went through before I let her, as her mother said in chapter 21, be carried away by what is to come. When the next update will be? Hmmm...how about Saturday? Yes, Saturday it shall be, my dear friends. Oh and a surprise regrading the FF waiting for my dear readers on Saturday. No, it has got nothing to do with the story but it has a lot to do with being part of the story...and you are part of the story, my friend. So Saturday, is for you.
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