OS: To be with her

OS: To be with her

Ahem watched Gopi walk away. She was looking back at him with tears rolling down her cheeks while being pulled away by his mother. With distance growing between them, he did not break his eye contact with her until she turned the corridor corner and was out of sight.

What could he do now?

He looked on with hopelessness in his eyes and pain in his heart. It was too much to bear. He tore himself away from Jigar's hold and walked towards the bathroom.

"Bhai," Jigar called out but it was in vain as he saw the doors closing.

Ahem stared at his reflection in the mirror.

"Idiot, idiot, idiot," spat Ahem at his reflection.

Look at what you have done now! You have hurt her so badly, thought Ahem. She is carrying OUR baby. That is OUR LOVE, continued Ahem.

Ahem closed his eyes, raised both his hands and ran them through his head heaving a groan of despair. He turned around and walked into the bedroom.

What has his life come to? It's nothing but emptiness without Gopi he thought as he looked around the vacant room.

Just then Meeti arrived with a tray of food.

"Ahem bhai, you did not have dinner. Baa told me to give you some," Meeti rattled out thinking she may be yelled at. She left the tray on the coffee table and briskly walked away.

Ahem closed the door, walked past the tray of food and went to lie on the bed.

In no time the events of the day took a toll on his physical and mental exhaustion had the better of him making fall into sleep.

Sometime later unbeknown to him his kaki entered his room to remove the tray. She shook her head looking worriedly on at him and left.

It was sometime in the middle of the night when his subconscious mind played out visuals of horrid happenings of events that took place between Gopi and him. He shook head from side to side in short sharp movements. He turned from one side to the other with restlessness bringing up his hand to his forehand then resting it along his side, with a growing frown of displeasure on his face.

He saw himself being told to return home on time so that he could break her fast on Teej, only for him to arrive and find out that she had already eaten without his presence. He knew that it was his fault for showing no interest that brought this about.

He looked around and heard himself shouting at her for decorating his room with candles and flower petals, just because he had helped her to nurse her wound. He could not see her appreciation shown just for his single good deed. He felt that he was undeserving to receive this instead he gave her the third degree.

When he turned the other way he saw her taking away the marriage vows, all because he could not distinguish between what was a materialistic object, like his laptop that could be replaced, and his wife, whom he annihilated to no end. Yet again it was his inability to control his temper when she had washed his laptop and hung it on the washing line.

There was nothing that would compare to the basest act of all of his done - him slapping her upon hearing that she was not an educated person. This stung him instantly, rolling his eyes everywhere as his body turned cold and stiff. He suddenly woke up in a cold sweat with his right hand stretched out, calling her name and looking into the darkest of his room.

Ahem was in a dazed state and felt completely disoriented. He ran his shaky right hand over his sweaty forehead and down the side of his face. He turned, switched on the side light and got out of bed looking for water. He brought the glass to his trembling lips for a few sips of water hoping for it to mend him.

He put the glass down and walked out of his room into the dark corridor. Everyone in the Modi household was asleep. He approached his mum's room and quietly opened the door. There he saw his Gopi sleeping soundly alongside his mum. He treaded softly to her side and knelt next to her looking intently at her face.

She looked so beautiful. Pregnancy has brought out her womanliness, Ahem smiled as he thought this.

He raised his right hand to caress her forehead with his thumb. He immediately noticed she relaxed herself upon his touch and began to breathe evenly. Oh Gopi, he began his silent prayer to her, I love you so much and I do want our baby too. I have been so selfish, arrogant and flippant in my venture with our relationship. You bring happiness to our lives. I promise I will make things right for us. I promise with all my heart.

With this he gave her a last look for the night, rose and tiptoed out of the room. He retraced his steps back to his room and had a settled night of rest.

Next morning he rose earlier than usual and was out of the house before arti had started. He busied himself into his work returning very late in the evening much after all had gone to sleep. After he refreshed himself he went looking for his Gopi. She was not to be seen sleeping in his mum's room. Where would she be? He wondered down the corridors of house with desperation seen in his eyes and his feet moving to a quick tempo.

His eye caught the dim light in the guest room and was curious to know why that was on at this hour. He opened the door and a sense of reassurance replaced the desperation in his eyes, only to see Gopi sleeping on the bed. Without any forethought he closed the door and took his place alongside her on the bed. He turned to her side and she was facing him but was sound asleep. He dragged himself close to her and wrapped his arms around her where he could.

He kissed her on her forehead and vocalised his thoughts, "Gopi, I love you and I miss you so much."

Gopi naturally snuggled closer towards her Ahemji and settled in an even toned breathing pattern.

He became so overwhelmed by her unconscious gesture that his emotions buckled under the armoured wall he harboured.

With his teary-eyes he began to express his deep sorrow, "I am sorry Gopi. From the time we were together I have been horrible and cruel to you. I am so sorry for hurting you and bringing harm to you. I love you so much and miss not having you with me. I am so, so sorry Gopi."

He continued in this manner repeating these words in a loop. At the same time his hold on her grew tighter and tighter.

Gopi stirred hearing these words and feeling her protectively held. As she opened her eyes and recognised the hold the words became audible. She lifted her head to see her husband crying his heart out vehemently.

He felt her body stiffen with her head rising up to look at his face and her small hand wiping away his tears on his cheek.

Ahem looked down at her weeping eyes, watched his wife reciprocate the pain he felt making him embrace her closer, continuing with his words of regret.

It was some time when his words became mumblings and his tears became sobs that he could hear her calming him down and that he could feel her gentle and slow movement of her hand going up and down his back.

He broke his hold of her and created space between their faces, just enough to see each other. He wiped her tears away with his thumbs as his palms held on to her face. She too wiped away his tears with her free hand.

"Ahemji, it's ok. Your happiness and long life is all that matters to me," Gopi whispered.

"Gopi, my happiness is with you and our baby. I love you not only because of the baby but because you make me the man I am. When I am at home I cannot spend my time away from you. I miss you too much Gopi. I want to be with you," Ahem relied with a weak teary smile.

"Ahemji, you can sleep with me here every night and I will wake you up before maji comes in the morning," Gopi replied.

"Thank you Gopi but promise me you will not tell mum or anyone about this," a relieved Ahem voiced out.

"I promise," replied Gopi.

From then onwards, Ahem returned every night and leave early in the morning without his mother finding out. It was in those wee hours that Ahem not only slept but also talked, made love and created a special bond with his beloved wife. This relationship was built on love, trust and honesty. Ahem got to learn more about the happening in the home and discovered Gopi's younger days. Some nights he would bring things for Gopi, which she would message him during the day, and he replied with endearments.

At the same time Ahem kept his distance with the family at home. He worked long hours and returned most evenings when everyone was resting in their rooms. His mum did not suspect anything neither did she notice anything.

The day arrived for Gopi to have her routine appointment to listen to the baby's heartbeat. Ahem reached the surgery as Gopi and his mum were entering the doctor's room. His mum was utterly surprised but remained silent as the nurse was with them.

Gopi was made to lie on the bed and was prepared for the check up. Ahem sat alongside her holding her hand and smiling on at her and her reciprocating. Kokila could see just how comfortable both her son and her Gopi vahu were with each.

As the nurse closed the door, Kokila called out his name, "Ahem ..."

She stopped mid sentence when the door immediately opened and the doctor entered.

Once the pleasantries were completed the doctor began the check up. She placed a device over Gopi's belly to listen on to the heart beat. She moved it to another place on the belly and again had the same look of displeasure worn on her face. She tried a couple more places but it was in vain.

Seeing this Ahem asked with concern in his voice, "Is there is problem doctor?"

She announced that she wants to confirm something through carrying out an ultrasound. As she glided the devise over Gopi's belly screen became animated and the sound of an irregular rhythmic pattern of beating hearts were heard. Both parents and grandmother were all engrossed with worry written on their faces and fixated at the screen.

The doctor broke the pregnant silence, "Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Modi you are having twins. Look here..." She went on to show them the beating hearts on the screen.

Ahem squeezed Gopi's hand with this delightful news. He took his other hand, caressed her forehead and lowered himself and kissed her on her lips, saying out aloud in his excitement, "I love you Gopi."

Kokila was beside herself as she watched on Ahem's actions and words. She placed both her hands over their heads and questioned, "Why would I ever doubt my son? After all you are MY son."

Ahem stood up and walked to his mum and hugged her with tears in his eyes. No words could express his joy and adulation he felt this minute other than appreciating her, "Thanks mom for bringing Gopi into my life." Gopi looked on with joyful tears in her eyes.