SS*end* Her Faded Footsteps- part5 Pg 71 upd 04/07 - Page 10

"I thought you had forgotten me" She pouted prettily as her eyes moved from his face to the bag he was holding in his hand.

"What's in the bag?" she asked in her usual enthusiastic voice.

"Jalebies" he heard his voice coming out hoarse as if he hadn't used it in a long time.

"Ohhh" she squealed happily as she extended her hand for the bag.

He walked over to her and kissed her gently on the forehead and watched her blush prettily and his heart broke another little piece.

Sitting down silently beside a now very flustered Khushi, he took her hand now sticky with jalebi syrup and kissed it again. "Thank you"

"Arnav ji, you got it all wrong. I'm the one who should say thank you for the jalebies!" She grinned slyly at him.

"I heard from NK and maami, what you did to save me. Thank you. Although I wish you didn't take such a lot of risks on your own safety." his voice came out again coarse and husky, like he had a bad head cold. He had wanted to tell this to her earlier but hadn't found the guts to look her in the eye. The courage, presence of mind and intelligence she displayed had been phenomenal. He never knew her to be so brave. But then this is Kushi Kumari Guptha Singh Raizada. He shouldn't have expected anything less from her. But that was again, the one reason he couldn't look her in the eye.

Even after everything, every cruelty she went through in the hands of him, all the vile, unreasonable and horribly wrong accusations he had thrown at her, she had chosen to over look them to come to his rescue. After everything he had done to her... Can someone be this forgiving and forgetting? How can anyone not have even one ounce of resent after everything he put her through? All she had wanted was for him to come back safe and sound.

Irony was that he was safe and sound but she was far from it.

"Oh it was nothing" she waved a hand airily as she dislodged her other hand from his and dived again to the bag of jalebies and he felt as if someone had snatched day light off him when he felt her hand vanish from his touch.

"Oh cheer up! It's not like I'm going to be sitting like this forever. I'll start walking in no time. Just wait and see. I'll annoy you as much as ever, Swami" she said cheerfully as she stuffed her mouth with more jalebies, making a face of someone experiencing absolute bliss.

He couldn't help but smile at this. God he had missed her. He had craved to see her for weeks and this is exactly what he had been missing. Even her constant attempts at irritating him was so endearing now. This was Khushi Kumari Guptha Singh Raizada at her element.

"Exactly! See what a difference it makes. You are not the one who's supposed to look gloomy. After all I am the one who can't walk"

He shook his head half incredulous, half amused at her never-ending merriment. Trust her to make a jest out of even the most serious of situations.

"You can walk! You will walk damn it. I'll hire every physiotherapy professional in the country if that will make you better!"

---

Khushi sat on the bed, silently watching the sun set on a deep fiery sky, sprinkled with evening stars. She was going home tomorrow. It had taken several days for her to heal from surgery wounds performed on her lower spine and she was still on a heavy douse of pain killers. But then, she was used to pain. She had known pain from a very small age. Emotional pain, physical pain, you name it.

Yet she was unable to put together the slow emptiness gathering inside her. It was hard for her to form them into coherent words; maybe her pain killers were being extra effective today. It was a curious sensation for her to realise that her life had come to a stand still, literally as well as figuratively.

A conversation she had heard that that morning had changed her for a life time. It wasn't really a shock when you think about it. She had a premonition this was coming. Still it wasn't pleasant and she wasn't sure how to deal with the emotions wracking inside her.

It was early morning and two cheerful young nurses had come into check on her on their morning rounds. She was feeling extra drowsy from the pain killers and had not bothered to open her eyes and greet them.

"It's such a pity isn't it Shaami"

"I was just thinking the same. And she's such a pretty girl" The nurse's voice was laced with sympathy. "I can't imagine myself not being able to walk"

"But then there's still hope Shaami. There are plenty of people who started to walk after a brief period paralysis. "

"It all depends on her constitution. After all physiotherapy can work only so far."

"I feel for her husband. I'm sure if she's permanently stuck to a wheel chair, there's not much hope for a future. After all who would want to stay married to an invalid."

"Not every man is like that Nimmi. If he truly loves her, he won't leave her"

"Then she should leave him. That's the fair thing to do. Plus he's rich. It's not like no other woman would have him."

There was a moment's silence.

"Well, it's their personal business. Common lets get going or else we're never going to finish rounds this morning"

---

He settled her on the bed; put a back strainer so that she could sit more comfortably and sat down next to her. "Khushi, I've hired a nurse. She'll be with you throughout the day and look after all your medications and personal needs. Don't strain yourself. She's here to do everything for you alright?"

She simply nodded unable to keep tears away from her eyes. She had vowed herself that she'd be strong and face everything with a smile on her face. But the utter helplessness of her situation, the dependency, the constant nagging of the feeling that she's a burden to the others had put a stoic barrier of grief in her heart. She couldn't bear it any longer. If she hated one thing in the most, it was the feeling of dependency. She might be an invalid but that doesn't mean she would be a burden on her loved ones.

She took a deep breath to harden herself. This was going to hurt her and she knew it's going to hurt him even more. But it was all for the best.

"Arnav ji, our marriage will end in a few weeks time. You don't really have to spend so much time and money on me. I'll be fine. Besides I'll have to get used to doing things on my own once I leave this house"

Arnav stared at her pallid countenance, blood draining out of his face. He didn't expect her to pull this out. Not now. Not ever. He grabbed her shoulders, over come with a furious rush of emotions.

"How could you say that? How could you say that after everything we went together? Screw the six month deal. You know this marriage is for real!"

Khushi took another deep breath. She had been prepared for this onslaught but nothing in the world would make her change her mind. Not even his words. It was time to put all the cards on the table.

"Lets be honest Arnav ji, I might never walk again for the rest of my life. I'm an invalid and will never be the wife you want me to be. Besides this is my decision. I don't want to be a burden to anyone. Least of all to you"

Arnav felt his breath constricting, tears stinging at the corners of his eyes, anger at himself coursing through his veins. His fault, all his fault that she was even thinking something like this. Her a Burden? To him? The thought felt scandalously ridiculous. He was so incredulous that the first question spluttered out of him was all the more wrong in Khushi's ears.

"And where are you going to go?"

There he had said what she had feared. He was going to keep her under his roof because he felt sorry for her! She not going to have that!

"I'll figure it out" Khushi said stoically her mouth set in a thin stubborn line.

He moved closer to her on the bed and without warning pulled her to a hug. "Do you remember the words I spoke to you in our phone conversation? I told you something very important. Do you remember?"

I love you

The wind blowing outside near the poolside, birds chirping merrily on the trees, the lone bee buzzing around near one of the flower pots; everything reverberated his words echoing from the depths of her soul. Will she ever forget those words?

"Exactly. I hope I proved my point" He said softly into her hair.

---

"Payal, I want to ask you something"

"Yes Arnav ji. Anything"

"tell me something about Khushi"

"Ji?" she stared at him in confusion.

He hurried on realising that the question didn't sound very coherent. "I mean what does Khushi like to do? Umm, what were her, I don't know, child hood dreams? What makes her happy?"

"Oh" said Payal realisation drawing on her.

"Well there's nothing much about her you don't already know. She's like an open book. And it doesn't take much effort to please her. You know her, one batch of jalebies would put her out of any stress"

"I know" Arnav said impatiently. "But there must be something else. What does she talk about the most when she's with you? What usually makes her happy when she talks with you?"

"well, she talks a lot about you" Payal said with a small smile but then hurried on seeing the thunderous look on his face. "She talks about her favourite actor- Salman Khan"

He knew about this already.

"Then before we got married, we used to talk about our future husbands" Payal flushed a fiery scarlet. "We used to discuss and plan our dream weddings, being married to the men we love, you know with lots of pomp and vigour, rituals performed to the T, have a grand ceremony, spend a wonderful life with our husbands, having beautiful families.. these are normal things girls talk about Arnav ji, nothing extraordinary about them"

Payal sighed. Her sister's dreams have always been nothing else but dreams. She shook herself, not being able to think further of Khushi's predicament without dissolving to tears each time.

"Thank you Payal" he said softly, smiled one of his rare smiles and walked out of the room.

Payal blinked back her tears as she watched his retreating back, wondering how unfair life could be.

"How can life be so cruel to all the good people?"

---