Mayur FF - Falling apart is just not easy Page 89 - Page 49

Nupur smiled as she opened the door to a worried Varun.

Varun wondered out loud, "Mom I don't remember when I fell asleep in the other room…" he scratched his head and yawned and when he looked closely at Nupur he caught her offguard with his question, "Mom, were you crying?"

He almost tried to look for its cause while looking at Mayank. He himself looked sad. What was happening to his parents?

There is this unique thing in kids when they look at their parents, without even understanding the deal, they want to cry when they find tears in their ultimate saviours, the ones who always know enough to strongly hold on for you at any given point of time rather than to give in to sadness. It was one of those times when Varun wanted to repeat all those reassurances to them, as they had to him, so that they somehow stopped being so. He wondered how much had they changed in a small while when he was away. He hated being away now, more than ever.

Mayank and Nupur were stunned at Varun's straight question to which they didn't want to answer at all. More than that, what was more surprising was the fact that they had thought that they looked convincing enough to give an impression that nothing was wrong, like they had been doing to Varun all this while, but clearly they had failed this once.

Before Varun could wish anything more and understand anything at all, he saw Nupur picking him up in her arms while she covered up with, "Yes!"

Mayank was a little shocked at Nupur's 'yes'. What was she thinking?

Nupur was quite a lot surprised when she saw Varun trying to trace away the faded stains of tears from her eyes, he somehow was always a hint of Mayank- whoever said that children show traces of their parents actually were quite true, she always noticed. But right now, his act made her feel so proud of her child whom she had apparently punished lately. She could feel her eyes renew some of those tears as Varun asked her "Why?"

Mayank walked upto them to control the situation, in case Nupur was proud enough to to chance all that had transpired between them just now. He could easily see that Nupur was happy right now. He chided himself for ignoring all these expressions of Nupur from so long when they were most required to read into.May be he did not want to read those intentionally and so all he could see was Nupur's attitude towards him and Varun, without even understanding even a bit of it. Well, in the light of his present realization, Mayank eased out to let Nupur speak at her will, trusting her, now more than he earlier did, in case of Varun.

Finally, without speaking at all, all he did was just watch his two best people when they talked, what looked like the moment that all they would need together to bring out the best out of the thing called life.

"Mom, why are you crying?"Varun persisted.

"Because I miss my Bauji and Gunjan"Nupur pouted and smiled, her smile outshining her every iota of sadness that she had.

"Now?" Varun found it very odd a complain from Nupur's side. She didn't say things like that often. And also, she cried and smiled at the same time. How did she always manage to smile at him, even when she was sad, he could never do so. When he was sad, he was sad. And he hadn't even seen Mayank being so sad, who now was smiling wider than anyone else in the room, looking randomly at Nupur & Varun, amused.

What did he do suddenly that made them forget all the sad feeling that they had? Well, no one at his age understood this fact and nor could his logic help him even to the slightest.

He looked at Mayank for help who said, "Varun, ask your Mom to call her Bauji and Gunjan in the morning!"

Nupur argued pointlessly, "But I want to talk to them NOW! And Mayank wouldn't allow that" She tried to look at him accusingly and Mayank winked at her for the great act that she carried on. It was suddenly like they were one team again, without admitting so, without even promising just another time, without feeling the need to even, they were just once again the same Mayank-Nupur that they longed to be.

What they didn't say and still understood was the fact that it was both their faults and it was no one's either.

They had just realized that life wasn't about being clear in respect to who was at fault and who wasn't because eventually they both paid for whatever they had done.

May be they were a little immature with the issues that Varun had, may be a little stupid in regards to their own insecurities and their approaches, and also their attempts at the matter at hand had completely turned out complex in a bad way; but then they realized that their marriage was now a level above what they had thought it to be - growing mature while dealing with the other's immaturity, to face the insecurities at the right places instead of hiding away from it for long; approaching the other had only made them approach all the things at once that they only wondered about and also to give all the complex attempts, a chance that they needed of each other before ever letting the relationship attempt such complexity.

It wouldn't be that they wouldn't be arguing anymore, wouldn't be having insecurities, or they wouldn't be having different approaches towards life. They surely would and surely would they be 'The Mayank and Nupur' that they always were.

The thing that had actually changed was the strength that they felt when around each other; the depth, to which they now knew, had their relationship lead to; the desire to lead a life together was stronger than ever now and so was the dream.

Whoever said that 'Problems could either make it or break it!'.

Varun tried to sound reasonable, "Dad is right Mom. You always say that we shouldn't call anyone so late at night to disturb their sleep"

Nupur could almost shake her head smiling. Now when would Varun actually stop repeating all her words on her ownself?

Varun looked at Mayank for help since Nupur didn't seem to agree upon it exactly.

Mayank could just look at Varun and say, "Okay Champ, suggest we can have your mother talk to Us today, and she can talk to her Bauji & Gunjan tomorrow" He raised his eyebrow while Varun liked the idea actually.

He had already slept for a few hours and he could easily do away with talking for a while. And it wasn't everyday that his Dad asked him to sit and talk. Feeling its importance and of himself too, he got down from Nupur's lap, pulled her hand to make her sit on the bed and said, "Yes Mom, you can talk to Us!" trying to sound excited so that she buys the idea.

Varun started up with talking about what he enjoyed at the party. And finally he said proudly, "And you know when you won an award Dad…I was very happy…I'll tell that to Dadu-Dadi, and yes, Gunjan Maasi when Mom calls her tomorrow"

His eyes shined as he talked about it all. For Varun, his Dad was Hero, a winner in every sense possible.

Mayank could just smile modestly. And also Nupur added, "Mayank Congartulations!" It now felt like she was able to now congratulate him properly for the same. Varun repeated Nupur's words happily, reaching out his hand to be shaken with Mayank properly at that.

Mayank couldn't feel the empty feeling now, that he had felt earlier that evening while actually receiving the award.

He shaked Varun's hand and smiling talked out a 'thank' from his eyes to Nupur's. It had been a long time since he had done that and now it felt peaceful thinking of the prospect of future that he now could see, again like he could easily do so earlier.

Nupur hadn't forgotten her anger at him completely for all that had been lost in between them in the past one year. Even more than the sufferings, she was also thinking at the back of her mind now that he didn't share his sufferings from her. What else had he been hiding away? She clearly felt a little left out here. So much for the confidence that she had in herself that they both had walked the same path in life atleast before the problems started.

She was surely required to learn and know more of Mayank at every step in life. Just every point in life demanded a new decision, a new maturity, a new step to keep up with it; so did the relationship they shared, she thought skipping in her own thoughts for a split second.

She smiled as she saw Mayank now. Though she was determined to get settled with him sooner or later regarding this matter and to make him understand a few things that she wanted to tell him; right now, she couldn't help feeling happy and excited for the happy end that she had eventually got. Looking at Mayank she realized that he was more than she had understood all the while - much more deep in thoughts, wants and sadly but also in pain. She couldn't wait to start learning this new aspect of Mayank that she had got to know just recently. A future with him, which wasn't a new idea at all, but it somehow gave her a new excitement level which she herself couldn't completely understand.

She reminded herself that she was still going to shower her anger on him, but now herself regarding this very thing as an unnecessary thought. However,she would surely reconsider it, she determined.

She suddenly felt her brain pop back to Mayank and Varun's conversation when she heard Varun say, "Dad, why did Riya Aunty ask me whether you two talked nicely to each other?"

Mayank felt clueless, over which Nupur shaked her head when he said, "She asked what?"

Nupur gave Mayank a look which told him that he would be told what it was about and she asked Varun, "What did you say?"

Varun said plainly, "Yes!"

Nupur smiled, "Ofcourse!"

Varun still wondered about the question and so did Mayank while Nupur asked loudly, "Anyone up for a glass of milk?" while she eyed Varun particularly.

Varun looked at her making an expression which said 'why-was-he-being-put-through-this-again-n-again'

Nupur winked and said, "I'll get you your glass right now"

Varun called out behind her, "Mom I would only have it if you add something tasty in it; else Dad wants to have it"

Mayank rolled his eyes and said, "There is no escaping this way! I have had my share too" he added the last part with a dramatic face, only remembering his Aunt putting such a compulsion on him instead of his Mom.

Varun laughed at his words.

As Nupur came back with Varun's glass of milk, with some Saffron flavor added to it, she settled beside them both and suggested the inevitable, "Now sleep!"

Varun wasn't in a mood to sleep but Nupur insisted. Mayank and Nupur hadn't collected their thoughts completely still from the talk they were having before Varun came in. Varun would be the best company anyday for them, but right now she believed they needed rest of sorts.

Varun slept right there because he probably didn't seem to like the room he had here. Mayank was treated with his blanket and some strict look too so that he skipped the idea of straining his mind more than he had already done since he looked exhausted, inspite of himself.

Although Nupur knew the medicine to Varun and Mayank's worries, she conveniently avoided hers and sat there thinking about a little more than just the words Mayank had told her tonight. It would still take some time to absorb such a thing all of a sudden. She couldn't help remembering all that she thought that she must have seen long before.

Turning to look at Varun's and Mayank's faces, she felt happiness when she saw peace spreading its protective air over them once again.

She had somehow managed to hurt both of them in the recent past, she decided that she would be more cautious ahead in her decisions in future.

Mayank saw Nupur sitting idly the way she was, when his eyes opened in his weakened sleep.

He reached out his hand from across Varun towards her and even in the darkness of the room, Nupur knew exactly what his faint expressions were trying to ask.

She smiled, held his hand back and laid down, still smiling to him, closing her eyes.

Mayank felt he lived for these moments.

For the starters, the uncertainity that he saw in Nupur's reaction which still rendered her the same and also for the smile that had played on her lips when she had closed her eyes, preparing to sleep. He happily mimicked Nupur's action of smiling and closing his eyes while he never left her hand.

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