AR SS : Desire of the Heart. SmallUpdatePage24! :)

Armaan entered his house worn out, mentally and physically. He looked up to see the time and saw it was 1 am. He wondered if Riddhima was already asleep yet or not. Hoping that she was, he moved forward to his bedroom.

He waited outside their bedroom to see faint light sneaking from underneath the closed door She was awake, probably reading a book. One of those lame romantic novels like Mills and Boons, or worse…that itself. He hated the idea of soft and romantic romance. If you had to express your love why not do it the intense way. Both of them liked it that way, oh he did at least!

He hadn't not been joking when he had said he was worn out physically. Yes he had just had sex. With his super hot secretary. He couldn't deny the attraction, and when she had acknowledged his stares she had hit on him while he had given in gladly. It had almost been a month now that they were sleeping together. In the beginning it was easy to hide it from Riddhima, his wife for almost a year now. But lately it had become more of a challenge to keep it away from her.

He knew he shouldn't be saying this, or even do something like that to his wife. She was or rather is an amazing woman. Beauty with brains. Her green eyes, chocolate brown hair, those baggy clothes of hers and most importantly her heart of gold. There was only one imperfection in her. God had given her a beautifully carved body, the only thing was that she couldn't satisfy him when they made love. It would just not reach his heart. So when he got a chance to get this action from outside, he couldn't let the offer slip…him being a man just like all other men…

He entered the bedroom and saw her sleeping on the bed with another one of Mills and Boons novel s. God this woman! He thought

"Hey!"

"Armaan hey!!!" She jumped from the bed all excited he was finally home.

He scanned her figure in her pyjama shorts and her Tinker bell tee. She was adorable. But alas! Adorable didn't work in bed.

She quickly went and hugged him.

"How was your day?" He asked, reluctantly getting out of her arms to save himself the guilt.

"Horrible! I missed you so much." She caressed his cheek lightly with her thumb.

"I missed you too ummm…Riddhima." He faltered. He was just going to say Shaina! Mentally making a note in his head to not repeat it ever again.

"Is everything okay? You seem tensed."

"Errrmmm…its nothing, just…work. Anyway, what's for dinner?"

"I was wondering if we could go out for dinner tonight?" She asked with a smile.

"Its 1 am Riddhima and besides I'm tired. I don't sit around and drool into romantic novels like you all day long!" He snapped back at her simultaneously removing his tie and shoes without making any eye contact with her.

"What's her name?" She asked all of a sudden.

His body grew stiff. Did she know? How on earth was that possible? He and Shaina were the only two people who knew about the secret hook-up. Did she…? No no no! She wouldn't do it. Then what was Riddhima trying to imply by that?

"What?!" He tried not to look into her eyes while questioning her.

"There was a lipstick mark on your shirt the other day. I saw it when I was doing the laundry." She threw the shirt on his face trying to keep her cool which was next to impossible.

He didn't know what to say. Should he tell her about his affair? Or just deny it? But even if he does, how was he going to explain the lipstick mark to her?

"Riddhima I…look you've gotta understand me..I just, I…I lost myself. She knew she was pushing the right buttons by coming close to me." He tried to explain keeping the "she" still a mystery.

"And you gave in? Knowing we were married? How could you Armaan?!" Slight tears streaming her face.

Armaan was annoyed. She was actually asking him how could he do this to her?! WOW! Maybe he should just tell her the truth, the truth about her being a big fail as a wife and as a bed mate.

"Look whose talking! The woman who couldn't satisfy her own husband! Great." He yelled leaving her astonished.

"Armaan?"

"Armaan what?! When was the last time we had sex Riddhima? 3 or 4 months back? Or even before that! I still can't believe that your blaming me for all this. Just because you don't have the charm of a sexy and hot woman doesn't mean you can expect me to stay with you all my life! You couldn't even satisfy me one bit! Is that enough explanation or should I go on with your inabilities?!" He blasted her without thinking twice.

Riddhima just stared at him. Surprised and shocked. She just wiped her tears which were blurring her vision and moved to her cupboard and removed her bag while filling it with her stuff.

Armaan saw this and realized maybe he said a little too much. He moved forward and held her hands which were busy grabbing stuff from thedir wardrobe. He was surprised at the soft bubble burst in his heart even now when he touched her. She was soft…so soft and fragile. But it wasn't enough…not for him atleast…

"I'm sorry Riddhima…I didn't mean to say all of that, I'm just a little disturbed by…" His sentence was left incomplete while she moved to pack her bag.

He knew that he couldn't stop her now. Maybe he jus had to let her go.

When she was at the door she turned and looked at him with remorse.

"Happy Anniversary Armaan." Saying that she left. Forever…maybe.

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Okay guys this was part 1. As I said this OS has no PM's so please keep checking the post for further updates. :)

He drove aimlessly all over New York city. It had been over a month that she had left without even bothering to inform him where she was going. He let out a dry laugh. Wasn't he the one who kicked her out? Well not literally but yes, he had forced her to take that decision by his spiteful words. Did he regret it? A part of him said no…maybe she deserved and even he deserved to be treated better. But a bigger part of him said he was wrong. Every man liked being intimate with his wife. But is that all there was to a marriage?

No…the most important was love and trust. And guess what? He had lost both! He felt like an asshole, a true asshole. How could he erase his mistake? With what words would he ask her to come back? Could he even look her in the eyes?

His mind went back one of those instances. He had been disturbed by the lack of physical intimacy with his wife.

He was sitting in his office and staring aimlessly at the ceiling. Suddenly there was a knock on the door bringing him out of his chain of thoughts.

"Come in!"

He was shocked looking at his visitor.

"Riddhima? How come you're here?" He inquired.

She just walked in after locking the door of his cabin leaving him utterly confused.

She walked upto him and took off her heels. He was beginning to freak out. He remembered their fight last night but he still hadn't told her he wasn't satisfied by her.

Next, she took off her jacket and moved to him. She held up her legs and placed herself on his lap while he looked at her even more confused but slightly aroused.

"Riddhima what is th-?"

"Ssshhh…." She placed a finger on his lips and bent down to kiss him while he just held her tightly by her hips.

His eyes slowly drifted closed while she kept probing him with her tongue. When finally their tongues met, it was war. It almost seemed like eternity but they didn't stop. While engaged in the kiss he let his finger reach the end of her leather short skirt and reached for her skin hidden within it. She gasped as she felt him tugging at her skirt and her inner. She quickly broke apart just to get him out of his blazer while still sitting on his lap. He helped her through the process and threw it on the floor.

She brought back her lips to join his. He swiftly picked her up by her hips and placed her on the table while she kept her legs hooked at his waist. He left her lips due to lack of breath and began tracing his lips down her neck and his hands working on the buttons of her shirt. He ripped the buttons open and let his hands wander around the flesh under her shirt.

As soon as he had unbuckled his belt and slid the zip of his pant open, his intercom buzzed. He slowly and very reluctantly let go of her and approached the intercom.

"What the f**k is it?" He swore angrily.

"Oh umm…sir actually the coffee that you ordered from Starbucks is here, should I bring it in?" His secretary said softly.

"I don't want it and your f**king fired!" He spat on the intercom and put it down.

"Armaan are you okay?" She got down and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah I'm…I'm cool." He tried not to lose his calm. How many times do you get turned on and then 'turned-off' by the buzz of the intercom?!

"Do you..errr…like want me to leave?" She asked in a small voice.

"I have a meeting in 10 minutes. I'll see you at home!" He quickly wore his belt, zipped his zip and wore his blazer. He set his hair and left his cabin leaving a very sad Riddhima behind. Only she knew how much effort she had taken to be so bold.

He still remembered that day….he wished he hadn't pushed her off that way. Maybe she would be here with him, this moment.

He stopped at Starbucks, he loved the coffee there. When he was in the dating phase with Riddhima, he would often bring her here. This was the most he could do since he wasn't the typical romantic man. He had tried his best to be romantic and all but he just couldn't be that. He never called her romantic names, never got her roses or gifts, never ever wished her on Valentine's Day…he was just unresponsive or uninitiative when it came to stuff like this.

But she had never complained. She had accepted him and his attitude without any cribbing or whining. Oh God what had he done? He sat in his car and thought about the moments when she proposed to him. Funny, he thought. Wasn't it the guy's job to propose the girl for marriage? But she had taken that step after two years of them being together.

If she had a fault in her, he had 10 of them in himself. What was he thinking when he said she never satisfied him?! Maybe she was a little inadequate at sex, but wasn't he inadequate at everything a girl desires from her boyfriend or husband? And that bitch Shaina was there only to add fuel to his already fired ego.

As soon as he had fired his secretary for disturbing his make-out sex with his wife he had to look for a new one. That's how that good for nothing s**t entered his life. Okay, she might be good at one thing and he knew what it was. It was so weird. He wasn't feeling so shameful while doing it with her. But now even if the thought comes to his mind he felt guilty and disgusted as ever.

He felt his eyes turn moist as he remembered the feeling of reaching home and meeting his huge apartment without any population. It was empty…just like it had always been before he met her. She would greet him with a kiss at the door every night even though he didn't respond to her by kissing her back on her cheek. She never ever complained when she had to attend family functions and her friend's weddings alone. It must be hurting her so much to look at her friends come with their spouses while hers didn't even care to accompany her for once.

He was, is and will always be a jerk. A filthy and rowdy jerk! Who only wanted sex. He thought so and started crying harder now. He held his face in his palms and sobbed loudly. He hated himself. He could use any stronger word if he found one. He wondered how come she stayed with him for three whole years!

He cleared his eyes of the tears and got out of his car after a while. There was no use of cursing himself now. He had lost her…he wondered where she had gone? Her family lived in India but there was no possibility that she went there because most of her documents and her passport were still with him in the wardrobe. Maybe she was staying with a friend…maybe she was staying alone in a one room flat as a paying guest and working two jobs at a time just to feed herself. It left a bitter taste in his mouth as he knew it was him who forced her to do so.

Suddenly he heard something that he was craving to hear from a long time. It was her…her voice. He could understand it in amongst a thousand people. He turned in the direction of her voice and was left smiling at the sight.

She stood there with a coffee in one hand and staring at her watch on the other hand. It looked like she was waiting for someone. Like he even cared. His original surprise was replaced with a big grin. Maybe God had given him another chance to get her back. With rapid steps he ran towards her and stopped a few step away from her as she looked at him. Her coffee left her delicate fingers and came down on the floor while she stared at him shocked.

He came closer to her and without any further adieu pulled her in his arms. He buried his face in her neck and tried to pull her closer if that was even possible! He could feel her not responding but he wasn't bothered. He knew once he would apologize to her she would take him in her arms and then he could kiss her senseless infront of all the people. Just like she had imagined but he had shrugged it off saying that it was extremely cheesy to even hold hands in public. But all her fantasies and wishes were still fresh in his mind and all he wanted to do was fulfill them one by one.

He felt someone pull him backwards with a hand on his shoulder as he faltered and almost fell backwards. He saw a tall guy come and stand in front of Riddhima while she just stared at him with tears and anger in her eyes.

The guy held her hand and hugged her while she started sobbing loudly in his arms. This hurt Armaan even more. He wasn't the one holding her when she was in pain. How could he? Wasn't he the one who caused her the pain? The man ran a hand on her back and tucked her hair behind a ear while whispering something in her ears as she nodded and gave a small smile.

"Stay the hell away from her!" He barked at Armaan.

But Armaan had had enough. He had touched his girl and dared to tell him to stay away from his own wife. Armaan moved forward to answer him but stopped in his tracks as he saw Riddhima standing in front of him with tears.

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Valuable comments and suggestions required please. :)

-Fizz.