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Credit goes to Maham(Allbut1) for this beautiful Banner
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My take today is going to be focused around one question...
Who is Prashant Dubey? Why?
I don't know if anybody will agree with this post because it seriously questions Shobha, who seemed like the undeniable hero, but on second though, I realised I wasn't convinced.
Shobha tries to validate the lie
Here we see Aarti correctly deciding that for whatever reason they have indeed lied to Yash, cheated a good man like him and she cannot live with this lie. She decides to tell him the truth. (Aside: Don't you love how she didn't give a flying fart in space about Prashant? She only cared about the fact that she had lied to Yash and he had come this close to figuring it out. She didn't ever want to be in a situation again where she had to deceive him). For the first time, however, we see Shobha not having full faith in Yash. She knows how unforgivable their crime was when they lied to him so instead of facing the truth and its consequences bravely, she chooses to find a way, through words, to validate the lie. With some beautiful prose she describes how Prashant left Aarti's very soul as colourless and plain as the sarees widows wear. And here is the important part: she plays god when she tells Aarti the punishment for the lie, if it is one should come to her. Does she not know that she is not the one to decide that? Shobha likes playing god.
Prashant wants to put Aarti down to make himself look good
I found it very interesting that Prashant's chosen method of reconciliation with his parents was to put Aarti down and try to "expose" her gold digging ways. Wouldn't it have better served him to say that he was sorry and that he was happy for Aarti and couldn't they both co-exist as children of the Dubeys? I know that is a bit weird to think about, but the point is that he was not inclusive of Aarti. Somehow there was place only for one child in his parents' life and he wanted to be it. Know who this reminds me of? Payal and Palak! They also put other children down to feel good about themselves and are hugely competitive. Why? Because they don't receive proper attention at home but have soaring expectations, because they are of the Scindia parivaar. Shobha also said that Prashant should never have been born into this family because he always made them bow their heads in shame. Was leaving Aarti the first time he didn't live up to expectations.
Shobha says Prashant always brought darkness while Aarti brought light
I am getting the idea that Shobha is a very loving woman, but one with rigid expectations as well. And I think Prashant was not her dream child. And I would risk saying that she never tried to work with the child that he was, but constantly tried to make him the child she wanted. They say that the worst thing you can to for your child's self esteem is to compare them to others. Shobha compared Prashant to both Aarti and Yash today. Do we assume that she has never done this before? And if not what was it like when he brought his young new wife home? Instead of getting someone who would dote on him 24/7, need him, he got a self-sufficient woman who was independent, knew herself and was everything he wasn't. Can we hazard a guess that then too, Shobha indulged in comparisons with Aarti, making Prashant resent her all the more? Shobha resents the son she had because he wasn't the son she wanted. Aarti on the other hand, is exactly what she wants in a child so she is a perfect mother to her.
Shobha was shocked that Prashant left
So she reveals that she was in bed for 2 months after he left. This makes it adequately clear that it was a huge shock to her system that he did. From what we know, it must have been apparent that Prashant was deeply unhappy in his marriage. Why wasn't Shobha in tune with every feeling in his veins then? Why didn't she try to pre-empt the problem if she knows her son so well? Why did Prashant ask her why she doesn't see his pain?
Prashant wants to be a son; Shobha wants him to be a father
I know the lines grey here a little bit because we are talking about relationships and not jobs. But this reminds me of the whole you have to be a doctor/engineer rhetoric, where the parents refuse to leave room for the child to grow by themselves in the way that they choose. I agree that Prashant does not want to be a son in the way that Shobha sees as the ideal, but where does his idea that his service merits the inheritance of the house come from? He had to have learned that from somewhere, right? And that takes me to...
Prashant cannot see past the technicality of relationships; he doesn't understand love
He is constantly questioning why his parents have taken Aarti in. He simply cannot grasp a relationship growing out of anything other than rights and blood. Despite Shobha listing all the things that Aarti did to transform from the DIL to the true daughter of the house. It touched my heart and I could literally see the bond form before my eyes, but Prashant remains oblivious and frustrated. According to a saying, after the whole Ramayana, he is asking who is Rama? He doesn't understand love! He understands only give and take. I gave Aarti a home because she has no where to go (um hint of kindness?), but now that she has, give me my home back. You are so attached to Aarti because you get satisfaction of helping the helpless in return. I will take care of you, you give me your house. He is so calculative. I am interested to see his relationship with Neda in this light...
Shobha refuses to take responsiblity
I think this was a very interesting way to close the episode, right where it started. At first Shobha refused to face the wrong she had done with the divorce lie and tried to validate it, now she is refusing to acknowledge that she did anything wrong with Prashant's upbringing. And to validate that stance she is going overboard to prove that she is a good mother to Aarti. Shobha, in a crunch, seems to have this habit of making her wrongs seem like right. To be honest, yes it looks like some huge sacrifice to do your own son't antim sanskar but if you think about it, it is a lot easier than trying to deal with a son who has gone so way off course and loving him unconditionally. Aarti is easy to love. She is righteous, kind, cheerful, strong and beautiful inside out. I am not discounting Shobha's love for her in any way but just saying that her love of Aarti does not validate her complete rejection of Prashant, who wants another chance. He is a pig, he is selfish, he can't see past money and he left his pregnant wife for another woman. He makes it impossible to love him, and yet isn't that a mother's role? And over to you...
Who is Prashant Dubey? Why?
I don't know if anybody will agree with this post because it seriously questions Shobha, who seemed like the undeniable hero, but on second though, I realised I wasn't convinced.
Shobha tries to validate the lie
Here we see Aarti correctly deciding that for whatever reason they have indeed lied to Yash, cheated a good man like him and she cannot live with this lie. She decides to tell him the truth. (Aside: Don't you love how she didn't give a flying fart in space about Prashant? She only cared about the fact that she had lied to Yash and he had come this close to figuring it out. She didn't ever want to be in a situation again where she had to deceive him). For the first time, however, we see Shobha not having full faith in Yash. She knows how unforgivable their crime was when they lied to him so instead of facing the truth and its consequences bravely, she chooses to find a way, through words, to validate the lie. With some beautiful prose she describes how Prashant left Aarti's very soul as colourless and plain as the sarees widows wear. And here is the important part: she plays god when she tells Aarti the punishment for the lie, if it is one should come to her. Does she not know that she is not the one to decide that? Shobha likes playing god.
Prashant wants to put Aarti down to make himself look good
I found it very interesting that Prashant's chosen method of reconciliation with his parents was to put Aarti down and try to "expose" her gold digging ways. Wouldn't it have better served him to say that he was sorry and that he was happy for Aarti and couldn't they both co-exist as children of the Dubeys? I know that is a bit weird to think about, but the point is that he was not inclusive of Aarti. Somehow there was place only for one child in his parents' life and he wanted to be it. Know who this reminds me of? Payal and Palak! They also put other children down to feel good about themselves and are hugely competitive. Why? Because they don't receive proper attention at home but have soaring expectations, because they are of the Scindia parivaar. Shobha also said that Prashant should never have been born into this family because he always made them bow their heads in shame. Was leaving Aarti the first time he didn't live up to expectations.
Shobha says Prashant always brought darkness while Aarti brought light
I am getting the idea that Shobha is a very loving woman, but one with rigid expectations as well. And I think Prashant was not her dream child. And I would risk saying that she never tried to work with the child that he was, but constantly tried to make him the child she wanted. They say that the worst thing you can to for your child's self esteem is to compare them to others. Shobha compared Prashant to both Aarti and Yash today. Do we assume that she has never done this before? And if not what was it like when he brought his young new wife home? Instead of getting someone who would dote on him 24/7, need him, he got a self-sufficient woman who was independent, knew herself and was everything he wasn't. Can we hazard a guess that then too, Shobha indulged in comparisons with Aarti, making Prashant resent her all the more? Shobha resents the son she had because he wasn't the son she wanted. Aarti on the other hand, is exactly what she wants in a child so she is a perfect mother to her.
Shobha was shocked that Prashant left
So she reveals that she was in bed for 2 months after he left. This makes it adequately clear that it was a huge shock to her system that he did. From what we know, it must have been apparent that Prashant was deeply unhappy in his marriage. Why wasn't Shobha in tune with every feeling in his veins then? Why didn't she try to pre-empt the problem if she knows her son so well? Why did Prashant ask her why she doesn't see his pain?
Prashant wants to be a son; Shobha wants him to be a father
I know the lines grey here a little bit because we are talking about relationships and not jobs. But this reminds me of the whole you have to be a doctor/engineer rhetoric, where the parents refuse to leave room for the child to grow by themselves in the way that they choose. I agree that Prashant does not want to be a son in the way that Shobha sees as the ideal, but where does his idea that his service merits the inheritance of the house come from? He had to have learned that from somewhere, right? And that takes me to...
Prashant cannot see past the technicality of relationships; he doesn't understand love
He is constantly questioning why his parents have taken Aarti in. He simply cannot grasp a relationship growing out of anything other than rights and blood. Despite Shobha listing all the things that Aarti did to transform from the DIL to the true daughter of the house. It touched my heart and I could literally see the bond form before my eyes, but Prashant remains oblivious and frustrated. According to a saying, after the whole Ramayana, he is asking who is Rama? He doesn't understand love! He understands only give and take. I gave Aarti a home because she has no where to go (um hint of kindness?), but now that she has, give me my home back. You are so attached to Aarti because you get satisfaction of helping the helpless in return. I will take care of you, you give me your house. He is so calculative. I am interested to see his relationship with Neda in this light...
Shobha refuses to take responsiblity
I think this was a very interesting way to close the episode, right where it started. At first Shobha refused to face the wrong she had done with the divorce lie and tried to validate it, now she is refusing to acknowledge that she did anything wrong with Prashant's upbringing. And to validate that stance she is going overboard to prove that she is a good mother to Aarti. Shobha, in a crunch, seems to have this habit of making her wrongs seem like right. To be honest, yes it looks like some huge sacrifice to do your own son't antim sanskar but if you think about it, it is a lot easier than trying to deal with a son who has gone so way off course and loving him unconditionally. Aarti is easy to love. She is righteous, kind, cheerful, strong and beautiful inside out. I am not discounting Shobha's love for her in any way but just saying that her love of Aarti does not validate her complete rejection of Prashant, who wants another chance. He is a pig, he is selfish, he can't see past money and he left his pregnant wife for another woman. He makes it impossible to love him, and yet isn't that a mother's role? And over to you...
