Posted:
After Arnav in Conversation with Some Person https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/iss-pyaar-ko-kya-naam-doon/2896045/arnav-in-conversation-with-some-person
And Khushi in Conversation with Some Person https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/iss-pyaar-ko-kya-naam-doon/2955520/khushi-in-conversation-with-some-person
Now, the man of the moment - Shyam Manohar Jha (SMJ) in conversation with Some Person (SP)
SP: Congratulations! Heard you are going to be a father soon.
SMJ: Yes, soon there will be Khushi in my life.
SP: Eh?
SMJ: I mean a little angel aka baby girl will enter my home.
SP: I see. Isn't sex determination illegal in India?
SMJ: Did you know that a child's gender is determined by the father? Even when I hit my leg with a hatchet, I take care.
SP: Umm. Too much information, dude.
SMJ: I love to gloat. Whattodo?
SP: So give me the gossip about the newest Raizada bahu, Mrs Khushi Kumari Gupta Singh Raizada.
SMJ: *twitch*
SP: You okay?
SMJ: She is alright. I realised that she and her husband don't (or didn't) sleep together. She sleeps (slept) by the poolside.
SP: How in heavens did you find that out?
SMJ: I found a torn piece of the quilt's fabric by the poolside and then I discovered the quilt was torn. Ta-dah! Plus, Arnav is looking so tortured. It was obvious.
SP: Disturbing. But why won't they sleep together?
SMJ: Because that is what two people who love each other to distraction do.
SP: Eh. Any theories why they married?
SMJ: I always knew why he married her. But I had my doubts about Khushi. So one day I went to her bedroom and confronted her. She did it to save her sister's marriage.
SP: You mean she got blackmailed?
SMJ: The family that blackmails together stays together. That is the motto of the Raizadas.
SP: So was everyone else fooled that these two were happy together?
SMJ: Somewhat. But not me. I once eavesdropped and saw these two having a fight. So I called Anjali and knew the drama would end.
SP: So, did it end?
SMJ: *twitch* No, I had to plan their honeymoon instead.
SP: That must have hurt.
SMJ: Not as much as the dance of passion that I had to witness and then lock them up in the bedroom.
SP: So for once you and your wife didn't have easy access to their bedroom?
SMJ: Ya. Anjali told me that Arnav and Khushi burnt the bed.
SP: How did she know? And was that a euphemism?
SMJ: I didn't have time to think about it actually. Because that morning I saw Arnav ask the Then-Prakash to go and keep a file inside his cupboard.
SP: Eh?
SMJ: I immediately knew that file was important.
SP: How so?
SMJ: I can just tell this kind of thing. So I decided to go after it immediately.
SP: Your villainairy is based on complete randomness and luck by chance, isn't it?
SMJ: *twitch*
SP: Stop with the twitch already. So what was your plan to procure the file?
SMJ: I just walked into Arnav's room and headed for the cupboard. I am cool like that.
SP: I see. And did you get to the file?
SMJ: Almost. But just then Anjali walked into the room.
SP: OMG! And?
SMJ: Nothing. We walked out of the room together.
SP: Mmm. Then? Did you now have a plan to get the file?
SMJ: Yes. A foolproof one.
SP: Go ahead and knock me out.
SMJ: See at first I had to make sure that the key was inside Arnav's purse.
SP: I am not liking where this is going.
SMJ: You will be impressed.
SP: Fine, go ahead.
SMJ: So I got one of those god threads and gave it to Nani to give it to Arnav.
SP: What?!
SMJ: But we know that Arnav is an atheist. But we also know that Raizadas are good with blackmailing. So while Arnav refused to tie the thread, he couldn't refuse to be blackmailed. So the thread went inside his wallet.
SP: Ooh. So the thread had GPRS and you could track Arnav, isn't it?
SMJ: No, no. I just dashed against Arnav at this point and saw the pocket where he placed the key.
SP: <head meets desk> But how were you going to reach Arnav's key anyway?
SMJ: I watched his bathroom patterns for the next few days.
SP: Wait. What? Come again. Really?
SMJ: Yes. And determined that he spent 15 minutes taking a bath.
SP: And then?
SMJ: I walked into his room and..
SP: Obviously.
SMJ: I poured juice over his wallet and manhandled Khushi while at it.
SP: What?
SMJ: Yup, a multi-tasker, that is who I am.
SP: So you stole the key now?
SMJ: Nope, I am not predictable.
SP: True that.
SMJ: Khushi left the wallet out to dry. So I opened and it got an impression of the key.
SP: On what?
SMJ: Lifebuoy soap.
SP: Is this from a never seen bad movie from 1975?
SMJ: Everyone might mock me, but I now had the key to the key.
SP: <rolls eyes> So you immediately went and got the keys made.
SMJ: Not exactly. I was walking around with the soap for a few days. And one day while I was by the pool, Anjali initiated a water fight.
SP: What? Sexy!
SMJ: Kind of. We too had our Rabbe Vey.
SP: Sweet. And the soap?
SMJ: Hid it among the plants.
SP: Ooh and then?
SMJ: I returned to discover that the soap was missing.
SP: Hahahahahahahahaha. Loser!
SMJ: *twitch*
SP: <still can't stop laughing> Continue.
SMJ: Turns out that Bubbly had taken it for a project of hers.
SP: Oooh and did you get it back from her?
SMJ: Yes, not before I lured her with promise of Pears soap.
SP: One Unilever soap is as good as any other, I suppose. So now you got the key made? No problems, I hope?
SMJ: Kind of. But Mamaji saw me getting the keys made.
SP: And? And?
SMJ: I deflected him too.
SP: Good on you. Did you finally open the locker?
SMJ: Yes. And found a Will.
SP: Awesome! Arnav's Will? What did it say?
SMJ: Yes. That he is 27 years old.
SP: Hot! And?
SMJ: That he was leaving all his wealth to Anjali. I was shocked!
SP: Eh? Because?
SMJ: He didn't leave me any money?
SP: OMG! He didn't leave any money for the man who was messing with the happiness of his sister by having an affair with another woman? Who would have thought?!
SMJ: If you are done with the sarcasm, can we move on?
SP: Sure. Go ahead.
SMJ: So I decided to make my own Will.
SP: Ooh, Law School degree finally being put to use.
SMJ: I restated that I will be the sole executor and beneficiary of the will.
SP: But how were you going to convince Arnav to sign this?
SMJ: I didn't have to do a thing. I gave Khushi one set of papers. When she was done reading them, I replaced with the will papers. Obviously she was not going to reread them.
SP: How could you be sure about that?
SMJ: I know my Khushi so well. In fact, this is why I love her.
SP: But why did Khushi agree to do this for you.
SMJ: I promised to clear her name over the terrace episode with Arnav.
SP: Why would Arnav believe you and not her?
SMJ: I am not complaining.
SP: Right? So did she get it signed? Did you clear her name? Did you get the will?
SMJ: Yes. No. Yes.
SP: What?! How?
SMJ: She refused to give me the papers, so I went into their..
SP: Let me guess.. room?
SMJ: Yes. And ransacked it. But didn't find the papers.
SP: And then?
SMJ: Anjali walked in.
SP: Again?! The two of you spend way too much time in Arnav and Khushi's room. Disturbing.
SMJ: But just as I was ready to give up, Lakshmi knocked down a pot and I found my paper.
SP: Helped by the mutton?
SMJ: Yes. She is the favourite woman in my life now. Move over Khushi.
SP: Poor Khushi. Wait. Now, are you going to kill Arnav? Does that what it means.
SMJ: Bwahahahahaha.
SP: You don't have a plan, do you?
SMJ: Don't underestimate me. Haven't I done so much already?
SP: Yup, let's see. First you got a thread and put it inside Arnav's purse. Then you dropped juice on his purse. Then you took the key impression on a soap that you lost to a nine-year-old. Then you made the keys. Found the papers. Made fake papers and found them accidentally because of a goat. <slow clap>
SMJ: That may be, but guess who is going to inherit all the Raizada wealth soon?
SP: Hmmm. Wait does this mean that you have given up lusting on Khushi?
SMJ: Of course, not. I want to have it all. The day I control the Raizada empire, Khushi too will be mine. After all koyi paagal hi hoga jo yeh saare aish aur aaram chodh kar jayega.
SP: Wait. You are Arnav Singh Raizada in disguise aren't you?
SMJ: *twitch*
SP: <sigh> I guess not.
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