Posted:
Sometime back I convinced my sister to start watching IPKKND. She wanted me to tell her the 'story so far' and this inspired me to write this. Please note, this is written with malice to none and tongue firmly in cheek. I mean I am a big fan of the show and the man!
Arnav: I just met Khushi.
Some Person: Who?
A: A chick.
SP: Nice.
A: Not really. I hate humans in general and Khushi in particular.
SP: Why?
A: Humans because of my tragic past that nobody knows about yet and this chick because she is a corporate spy.
SP: Really?
A: Maybe not. But she is a gold-digger.
SP: Do you have proof?
A: Not yet.
SP: So what do you plan to do?
A: Give her a job in my company and make her take measurements of hot dudes.
SP: That is punishing her?
A: Oh, I almost killed her by sending her into a crumbling building.
SP: What?!
A: But I rescued her.
SP: You sure like to create a mess and then fix it.
A: That is what she says.
SP: Then?
A: She quit the job.
SP: How shocking?!
A: Anyway, she is now working in my house.
SP: Doing what?
A: I am unsure. I guess she is my punching bag. I practice all my insults on her.
(Fight, fight, bicker, bicker)
(6 months later)
A: It is possible that she is not a gold-digger.
SP: Great. Now you like her?
A: No. She believes in God and destiny.
SP: So?
A: I like to play God.
SP: Fine. Ignore her.
A: I Cannot.
SP: Why not?
A: Because she is clumsy.
SP: Eh?
A: Yes, she is always falling into my arms and her dupatta is always grabbing me.
SP: I see. What happens then?
A: There is some pretty intense background music that plays and a strand of hair covers her eyes that I feel compelled to push behind her ears.
SP: Do you enjoy this?
A: Yes, but then I remember I hate her.
SP: What do you do then?
A: Grab her by her shoulders and sometimes hurt her also.
SP: Poor girl. What happens next?
A: She begins to cry and I feel sad. But I don't apologise.
SP: Why not?
A: Because I don't apologise. Plus, I remember that I hate her.
SP: What the..
A: What the indeed! She just got engaged to some other dude.
SP: So? Aaapko kya faraq padtha hain?
A: How can she? I mean, I am the one who almost kissed her and then said hurtful things to her.
SP: Umm. Didn't you agree to marry some chick too?
A: That is different. I take my decisions using my head, she with her heart. I am not attached to my chick; she is probably attached to her dude.
SP: Have you told her how you feel?
A: No. I haven't yet admitted my feelings to myself.
SP: You have some problems.
A: Whatever. Hey, I just broke up with my chick. Or the chick just broke up with me. I am unsure. It is because of Khushi. I think. Also, Khushi's engagement is off.
SP: Great. Now tell her.
A: Nope. I just rubbed her failed engagement on her face and broke her heart a little more.
SP: What is wrong with you? Go hug her and tell her that her that the pain will go away.
A: Do you know this one time when her dad was almost going to die, I went to meet her at the hospital. She hugged me, but I didn't hug back.
SP: You are douchey, aren't you?
A: Yes, but I have a sad past. Plus, I am so hot.
SP: What about her?
A: Let that be, K and I just managed to play matchmaker and our siblings are getting married.
SP: Wow! So you guys are friends now?
A: What crap?! But I have challenged her to a dancing bet.
SP: Wait… you dance?
A: Nope. But that is not the point. I have to, have to win.
SP: This is disturbing.
A: Whatever. Hey, she won the bet. But I may have won her heart.
SP: Wow! How?
A: I danced with her because she didn't look too bad in a green sari.
SP: Great! Now tell her how you feel.
(Wedding rituals… banter.. kissing bet.. bangle buying.. love and longing... faraq padtha hain kyonki...)
A: Today is the wedding, I will tell her.
SP: Yay!
(a few hours later)
A: I hate Khushi.
SP: Oh no! Not again. Did she turn you down?
A: Worse. She is in love with someone else.
SP: That is sad.
A: The worst part is he is my brother-in-law and now she is a homebreaker and wrecking my sister's happiness.
SP: Maybe you should speak with her. Seeing is not always believing, you know? Plus, you have misunderstood her in the past too.
A: No conversation necessary. I hate her from the bottom of my heart. And to think I laughed twice because of her.
SP: Wait. You have a heart.
*stony silence*
SP: Okay, okay. Don't be mad. You can still fix this. Just stay away from her now.
(a few hours later)
(a few hours later)
A: I have fixed this.
SP: Great! What did you do?
A: I forced her to marry me. That is what I did.
SP: What the?!
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