My thoughts on Dubeys... with a different angle

evasumi thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#1

I have read many post since yesterday and every one of them seems to be upset at Dubeys for their behavior.. But to tell you the truth I am upset but not in that intensity..

Here are my thoughts...

Dubeys who loved their one and only child their son and were proud of him disown him as he left their DIL in the middle of pregnancy and fell in love with another woman.

I am sure the way they love their DIL... only indicates that they must have loved their son and must have fulfilled all his wishes..

But under the circumstances when their son turn out to be a rat, they took care of their DIL through out her pregnancy... took care of her and helped her raise their grand child, supporting her emotionally and financially and providing her loving home for her and her baby.

They stood by her with all her struggles and provided their full support fighting with society and relatives.

They were so fed up with everyone's stuck up views that they left their home town and came to a total new city where no one knew them and established their business again from the start.

During all this time Aarti has become their daughter than DIL and they worried about her all the time. So like a real parent they started to worry about the future of this orphaned girl who has made a place in their heart like a daughter.

So when they got this alliance for Aarti and the main condition for this wedding, Papa Dubey thought to keep her divorced status as a secrete as it was not possible to get a good alliance for their divorced DIL... So he forced Shobha to keep it a secret too. Shobha who is upright and did not keep anything from her DIL objected but Papa Dubey forced her to keep this information. Though Shobha agreed at that point but she wanted to tell Aarti about it asap knowing how she would feel about it.

But somehow the truth was not told and Aarti went into this knowing nothing about this big lie.

During the Ganesh puja, Dubeys and Aarti confronted but for the wrong reason...

Dubeys thought she now knows the fact and she is ok with that as she went ahead with the wedding preparation.

Aarti was upset on totally another level ... She saw that the Dubeys gave their all for this wedding even they mortgaged their house to raise the fund for this wedding as per the standard of Schindhia. They did not care about their own retirement fund and gave their all just for the happiness of Aarti and their grand child Ansh...

But now just before the couple of hours Aarti comes to know the whole truth and she is totally upset. She confronts her in-laws and tells them that she cannot go in to this wedding on the basis of lie..

Dubeys try to make her understand every situation but she has no ears for any of their arguments.. Papa Dubey tried and tried to be reasonable but Aarti is adamant on her POV that she cannot build any thing on the foundation of lies...

Even Shobha who has always supported her tries to tell her that the hour has passed for this confession and now it is too late. Every thing will be ruined and the marriage will not happen. To this Aarti declares that than so be it. She rather stay like the way she is than walk in to this wedding with a lie.

So she with a tenacious determination tries to tell the truth to Gayatri but was stopped by Papa Dubey. So after Gaytri leaves her fight for the truth is still on...

She than tries to call Yash thinking at least Yash should know all the details before the wedding and than let him decided what he wants to do..

But Papa Dubey is extremely upset with Aarti's behavior and he just takes the matter in his hand and disconnects the phone. Aarti was expecting Yash's response to this volcanic situation but Papa Dubey tells her that she will not get any response as he has disconnected the phone. Aarti was so furious that she just throws the phone with a volcanic anger.

Yes I agree with you all that Aarti stood single handedly and fought like a tigress to keep the truth but I wonder will she be this strong with Schindhia???

Where did she get that much strength and courage to stand up... Is it not because she has been treated like a daughter than a DIL??

Aarti when was asked to change her name but when she went in front of papa Schindhia she could not even utter a word in his presence where as she can scream and demand the answers from Dubeys...

Aarti when knew about her Kanyadan being done by Arpita's parents could not even look in to the eyes of papa Schindhia where as she can tell on the face of Dubeys what she thought was right.

And the way she showed her anger by throwing a phone with such a force and ferocity was the indication that she has full liberty to tell and express what ever she felt in front of Dubeys

And all these only because the Dubeys have treated her like a daughter and the Dubeys have her best interest in their heart. Yes they told a lie and that was their biggest mistake but it does not mean that they love Aarti less then any parents.

Yes at the end Papa Dubey just lost it and put the emotional pressure and asked her to repay their good deeds not just to get his own way but also to get Aarti what was best for her.

Yes understood that Aarti was more than 100% right in her demand to tell the truth to at least Yash but was her behavior right??

Schindhia's sons stand in front of him with downcast eyes. When they want to tell him something they come with a request..

Yash comes like... Ma and bauji I want to tell you something.. only we see Yash really angry when they gave Arpita's name to Aarti without his knowledge... but on all the other occasion they never cross their limit and always keep their limits... They are sons and still they keep that etiquette. The protocol stays in the Schindhia household all the times that no one raises their voice in front of Ma and pa Schidhia. And here the DIL is screaming her heart out and demanding the answers from her father and mother in laws... and though they went of pleading she just does not listen to them as it was her life they are trying to put in jeopardy with this lie...

What I mean to say is that Aarti could do all that and voice her objections and go against their direct orders and even throw the telephone angrily on the face of her father in law only because she was like a daughter than the DIL.

What I mean to say is that her behavior had the rights of a daughter and not the DIL..

Yes Papa Dubey put the emotional pressure on her not to be selfish for himself alone but it also had the desire to marry her to the right person and they thought Yash was the best for Aarti.

When Aarti went to Mandir Shobha was praying please Lord bring my daughter why does she not understand that my selfish son is not good for her only the gentle man Yash is the best for her??

So all these is not only because Dubeys has turn in to some monster in one moment and they want Aarti to repay for their support and good deeds but they want this marriage to take place for her sake and not entirely to save their neck from humiliation. Papa Dubey did tell her that he will ask forgiveness from Schindhia with everything in him but than what??? How will they live after that and how will they find the solution for her and her son?? Because they have taken the responsibility of Aarti when their son left her and they want to make sure that she is in good hand before someone takes advantage of her good and pure heart..

It was a very critical condition on both the side and only Yash can help them now...

So let's see what Yash will do now...

Edited by evasumi - 13 years ago

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jikky_84 thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#2

I completely agree with you. Its not that Dubey's does not love her but its becoz they love her to an extend that they were ready to show their son dead in front of whole world. And also its now too late to tell the truth, even to Yash because it will definitely come as a shocker to him and it will take some time for him to come in terms with it. But there is no time left for all these.

And yes, only Yash can help Arati form this, but for that he should know the truth and that I guess is only possible after the marriage.

evasumi thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#3
Thanks Jikky...
Yes that is what I meant...
Yes they made a mistake with this lie but their intention to lie was not to put Aarti in a fix later but her best interest to give her the best life...
123mitul thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#4
i agree with you...i think, aarti-mr.dubey genuinely share a father-daughter relationship...yes, mr.dubey's words were harsh...but i felt an angry father was talking to his stubborn daughter...sometimes, parents say something like that when they are extremely angry...i know, dubeys made a huge mistake...but here, i cannot acctually blame mr.dubey...
Ubiquitos thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#5
I think they are being practical. In reality if someone declares the truth at the moment,he or she wud not b appreciated rather will be blaimed of hiding d truth.

And if aarti declares d truth right now,then society will look at their family as cheaters. Above all aarti wud b blaimed that her marriage failed second time.

So dubeys are concerned about aarti and her future. They want aarti's marriage for her and ansh's betterment only.
A few in laws support their dil and disown their own blood. It is not so easy to do in real.
They hid the truth only for aarti not for themselves, not caring about their reputation if truth comes out later bcoz they were the ones fixing the marriage with scindhiyas!!!!
And also they have a descendent in d form of Ansh. If they wud have been selfish they cud stay with their dil cum daughter and their grandson througout their life as a happy family.
But they didn't!!!! This proves they truly care for Aarti and Ansh.

And last but not d least -they are humen too like us!!!! A human can't be right all d times.
Are we all perfect? We do errors so may do Dubeys. But their errors can b neglected in comparison to their sacrifices.
Hats off to dubeys for the punarvivah!!!!!
123mitul thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#6

Originally posted by: asrocks

I think they are being practical. In reality if someone declares the truth at the moment,he or she wud not b appreciated rather will be blaimed of hiding d truth.

And if aarti declares d truth right now,then society will look at their family as cheaters. Above all aarti wud b blaimed that her marriage failed second time.

So dubeys are concerned about aarti and her future. They want aarti's marriage for her and ansh's betterment only.
A few in laws support their dil and disown their own blood. It is not so easy to do in real.
They hid the truth only for aarti not for themselves, not caring about their reputation if truth comes out later bcoz they were the ones fixing the marriage with scindhiyas!!!!
And also they have a descendent in d form of Ansh. If they wud have been selfish they cud stay with their dil cum daughter and their grandson througout their life as a happy family.
But they didn't!!!! This proves they truly care for Aarti and Ansh.

And last but not d least -they are humen too like us!!!! A human can't be right all d times.
Are we all perfect? We do errors so may do Dubeys. But their errors can b neglected in comparison to their sacrifices.
Hats off to dubeys for the punarvivah!!!!!

agree with you...the situation is really messy now...& aarti will face the biggest humiliation...dubeys are trying to save her...& yes, human beings cannot be right every time..
Ubiquitos thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#7
Thanks...i cudn't stop writing abt this and that too a long one!!!!:)Let's see what happens when truth comes out!!!
Dhamaka to scindhiyas for sure.
evasumi thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#8
Asrocks... loved your points...
Yes there are very few in-laws who treat their "Left by their son" DIL like there own daughter and give her rights to be their daughter and allowe her to say what she feels is right.
Also I think the reason for the emotional pressure from Papa Dubey is to make her agree for this marriage in any circumstances as He knews that it was the only way with Aarti as she was very stubborn(Ziddi) girl...
Ma and Pa Schindhia are their eyebrows raised from now on with Aarti's behavior forget about tolerating any stubborness from her.
And tell where did you hear the father in law tells that about his DIL..
His words indicated that he loved like his own daughter...
And Aarti too those rights to behave like that because Dubeys are really more than her parents and it was a scene between father and duaghter and not the DIL and FIL...
Ubiquitos thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#9
Thanks a lot!!!

And yes their interaction is more like a daughter and her parents. Even real parents wud do the same for their daughter most likely so they are right at their place.
They know what truth revealation at this time can do.

But they were technically wrong when they were fixing the marriage but were blown by emotions!!! So it started there and led to all this 'divorcee truth drama'.
No clear cut line can be drawn between right and wrong here.
Here the thing is that the heart conquered mind!!! And history talks very nice about dubeys. That can't be ignored.
Edited by asrocks - 13 years ago
evasumi thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#10
Yes..
Papa Dubey was wrong in taking the decision to hide the divorce fact of Aarti..
but at that point of time... They considered their son dead to them.. His presence or absent did not make any difference to them...
In fact the son who was worthless to them and their standard was better of dead than alive for their DIL and grand son.
Mr Dubey was trying to be practical in dealing with this issue of hiding the facts of Aarti's status as they have been trying for a long time and have gone through many hardship taking the sole responsibilities of Aarti and welfare of her and her son..
and this opportunity came along he simply couldnot let it go as it was the best for Aarti.
Yes the the truth was concealed but he knew very well that once this marriage is concluded no one will take any advantage of Aarti in their absence.. They feard the most their own son who had the habit of taking advantage of Aarti's puppy love..
But once Aarti is married this will not happen and Aarti as she is... she will not look back on her previous marriage and will stay faithful and steadfast with the new family and her son will get all that a child should have..
The approach was wrong but not the intensions...
And the status of Aarti does not make any difference as what Aarti is...
and later on it could be minor thing or they could make it a big deal but they had faith on Yash that he will handle it... and so though it was totally wrong for them to do it still they went ahead and did it thinking that it will get resolve once the marriage is concluded..
Only time will tell how big an impact this hidden truth will bring on Aarti and Yash...

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