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tinoo

@tinoo

Rocker

Posted: 14 years ago

#31

Originally posted by: Kashish_kr
On my personal front, i never said that i will WAIT for 20 years for my son to growup to speakup for me. I just said that i am already fighting for my right, sometimes with the help of my husband. But the solution is not always divorce. Its not easy and not at all guarantee to the brighter future. Rather it could mean an imbalanced growth of child's personality. Anyways, dont want to further discuss abt it as i had have enough from earlier responsEs

But there is a difference between 'assertiveness' and 'agressiveness' when fighting for your rights.

Assertiveness means just sticking to "I" statements which just involve setting your own boundaries "I wont do this"; "I wont tolerate this" "I need this"

Aggressiveness means getting into saying "You" statements that insult the other person. "You are like this, you are like that"

It may be helpful to be assertive and not aggressive (though not always easy I agree, especially if one is being provoked).

I think gauri is very aggressive and crosses over into the "you" realm and abuses lots of different people.

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tinoo

@tinoo

Rocker

Posted: 14 years ago

#32

And kashish, though you may say that she was polite and the singhs were rude ...

I would argue that gauri was not polite.

While she may have been polite in her words, the overall framework within which she entered the singh household was very rude and downright indecent. Walking in hand in hand with their son, knowing that the first wife is already there. Walking in uninvited. Not having informed them of the wedding...the context for rudeness was already set up by gauri and initiated by gauri.

What does it matter how she behaved after she got there.

if she had genuinely been well-mannered, she would have informed them, invited them to the wedding, taken their consent before the wedding...