Originally posted by: JanakiRaghunath
Hey guys,
I know many here may not agree with me since Paridhi's parents seem to be favorites of the forum because of their "modern" attitude, but I didn't really like them much.š¤ Yeah, they may not be oppressive like Yash's mom (I still like his dad a lotš³), but they seemed kind of rude and tactless to me in the episodes they came in.
I am one of the people who has fallen head over heels for Paridhi's parents so I am gong to try to offer a different perspective on the behaviour you pointed out. Of course, it is uncontrollable whether you like them or not but I think what you construed as rude and tactless, which can be perfectly true from one perspective, can also be seen as them considering the Scindias family already and not bothering with formalities. I don't think it has anything to do with "modern" or "traditional", but rather shows a formal vs. informal behavioural register. The Scindias are very formal and set a lot of store by societal rules and guidelines. However, the Khannas seem to behave in a much more intimate and informal way.
First of all, they are guests in the Scindia household and guests are supposed to act in a respectful manner to their hosts. They knew that the Scindia family was traditional and conservative, so giving Prateek a wine bottle as gift was tactless and showed their blatant disregard to the feelings and beliefs of the Scindia household.
Here we have to remember one thing. This is the first time that the Khannas have ever visited the Scindias so whatever they know about the Scindias, they know through only brief meetings and Prateek's word. We already know that Prateek drinks, as do his brothers, as there was that scene where Pankaj proposed the whiskey party. How on earth are the Khannas supposed to know that drinking is against the beliefs of the Scindias when they are aware that Prateek does? The way that Prateek knew his MIL's tea preferences shows that he has spent a lot of time with them, being much less inhibited than he is at home as he immediately felt awkward for that slip in front of his mother. So I think the Khannas are acting in Prateek's house based on their interactions with Prateek himself, not realising how differently he acts outside of the norms of his family, where double standards seem to be a way of life.
Not only that, they even boldly said that they don't believe in the age-old customs that the Scindia family does, like not bringing a future DIL into the house till after marriage, and though they do have a right to express their beliefs, doing so when you
know that your hosts believe in it shows that you don't care for their feelings and consider them backward. There could have been a more respectful way of saying it.
This I do agree with. There could have been a better way of saying it. But in some ways Khanna saab was justifying his slip, saying he doesn't believe in these things. I don't think he was implying that they were backwards, just that they had a different set of beliefs which he for a moment forgot about completely. He then recovered and explained himself. What would have been rude was to call Paridhi despite her in-laws beliefs, which he did not do. He had respect for their beliefs, he just didn't make it a point to hide his own.Also, the way the parents bossed around Ramdulari like he was their servant and not the Scindia's was rude, and lastly, no guests take food from their hosts' house without it being offered to them. I was really so shocked when I saw this scene.š²
Again, I will throwback to the idea of apnapan. These people see the wedding as an equal joining of two families and consider the Scindias as family, given how long they have probably known Prateek and how familiar they feel. So to them the joining of these two families means that the Scindia's servant is their servant. Again, they are acting informally as though they are in a close relatives house, which is how they feel about marriage. They expect that Paridi will be loved like a daughter by her in-laws and what is wrong with asking for samosas to be packed for their mutual daughter? I think it would seem but natural!For someone who was apparently "modern", Paridhi's parents lacked manners and basic respect, and also blatant disregard for the feelings of others. Paridhi's father made a complete fool of himself when he "advised" Prateek about how to treat his wife after marriage, and I felt Gayatri's indignation and worry was justified. Just like a girl's parents don't want to see her bossed around after marriage, a boy's parents don't want that either. For someone who is apparently modern, Paridhi's parents don't give the idea of an equal marriage...they seemed foolish, immature, and mannerless to me.
No offense, but I think you are overreacting a bit here. It was a JOKE and Paridi's dad is clearly an outgoing and funny guy who doesn't really ever talk very seriously. I mean so many men make these silly jokes about how the wife is always right etc etc, it wasn't entirely serious advice at all but was construed that way by Gayatri whose view was already coloured by her fear of Prateek becoming a "joru ka ghulam". I am sure Khanna and the Mrs. are not immature because they have brought up a girl like Paridhi, who is both professionally successful and very grounded. She already calls all of Prateek's relatives the names he calls them (ie Yash bhaiyya etc) and is clearly family oriented for all her rockstar charm. Theirs is just an entirely different family equation where everything is transparent, unlike the Scindias whose family system operates in many complex layers.
So Khanna enjoys making tea for his wife and she accepts graciously with a "thank you very much". It is not like she commanded him to do it. He did it because he wanted to, because it gave him pleasure and that to me signals a marriage of equals, where both do things for each other out of their own desire to do so. The Scindias prefer to live by old, set definitions of marriage and family while the Khannas have created their own equation, where they do things because they want to and not because they are supposed to.
It is clearly showing two different ways of familial bonding, without glorifying either as better than the other and that Is what I am loving about this story construction.
Anyway, I hope I didn't bore you with my rant but the contrast between the three families is one of my favourite things about the show so far and I think they have succeeded wonderfully in not making any OTT or trying to push a "right" family model. All have a lot to learn from each other and I hope they develop that further in the story.