Feelings/Aftermaths THE END PG 19! (arhi OS/SS) - Page 12

i am so, SO sorry for this super late update.
i've literally been stuffed with work for the last two weeks.
i'm dreading university at this rate.
but anyway
yayyy it's complete! :D
i'm sorry if it doesn't live upto your expectations - as i've said before, it had been a terrible week.

thank you everyone for loving and supporting this story, for it IS my first OS/SS and i have really ap[reciated the feedback.
love you all so much!

PS: i would just ask you to reread the previous chapter to get a good effect.
and listen to birdy's skinny love before reading this chapter. it would set you up for the mood ;)
or any sad song - but i have always loved this one.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XL2Uzz4j01s

The End: Conversation

"You have to let me do this, Khushi. You have to."

She did not speak. She did not need to.

Her hand was still wound tightly around his, reassuringly warm, reminding him again of how he had nearly lost her, how he was the reason he had nearly lost her.

Disgust overwhelmed him. His skin burned shamefully beneath her fingers.

"Khushi," he whispered. "Khushi, please."

He knew he could do it. He knew she was no physically stronger than an ant when compared to him. A jerk, a twitch, a step - that is all it would take.

And then the pain would end.

But it was impossible to move. For where she lacked in muscle, she made up in heart. And her heart had overpowered his. It had wiped away his purpose to do what he had come here to do. It had made him forget, just a little bit, that he should not give in, no matter how hard it became. It filled him with a desire to stand rooted to the spot, gazing at her, completely unwilling to move into a place where he would never see her again. She was looking at him with her heart, and he was looking back with his.

And he could not pull away.

For her eyes held him.

And so his heart belonged.

*

Every step had hurt. Something warm was leaking out of her as she made her way slowly up the steps. The very steps, she had remembered grimly, she had climbed just yesterday, the very steps that had led to her doom.

She had panted heavily as she rested her hand on the doorknob.

Memories from a few hours ago had come rushing back as she leaned against the door, memories which would scar her forever.

And yet she had found herself being able to look beyond her pain.

I don't understand, she had thought. What happened to me was the worst thing that could happen to a woman. I've been stripped of everything - everything. I should be grief-stricken. Traumatized. Then why...?

The answer had come easily, as though it had been there all along. It had come to her as she remembered feeling safe in her Arnavji's arms when he had cradled her head against his heart.

When she had heard his dhak dhak.

The answer - was love.

And she could deny it no longer.

.
..
...

"Aap issi waqt niche ajaiye. Varna - varna hum aajayenge."

"Aap kya samajti hai aapne aap ko?"

"Aap mar jayenge?"

"Aur sab theek ho jayega?"

"Aap chup kyun hai?"

"Yeh kya tarika hai?"

"Kaisi bachpana hai yeh?"

"Aur fir?"

"Aapki parivar ka kya hoga?"

"Anjaliji ke bareme nahi socha aapne?"

"Humari bare mein nahi socha?"

"Aap yeh kaise karsakte hai? Aise soch bhi kaise sakte hai?"

"Hum aapse baat karrahehai!"

"Suna aapne?"

"Humari taraf dekhiye!"

*

"You don't understand."

"Kya understand? Hum sab samaj gaye. Apni bakwas band kijiye, aur niche aajaiye."

"Khushi. Khushi stop it, please."

"Nahi. Aur nahi. Bohat hogaya. Nahi sunenge hum aapki baat."

"Khushi -"

"Nahi Mister Arnav Singh Raizada! Bas! Humne kehdiya na! Aap niche ajaiye."

"Khushi - I can't."

"Humne kaha na! Hume kuch nahi sunna."

"Khushi. Tum - tum nahi jaante -"

"Hume koi fadak nahi parta. Aap niche ajaiye."

"Khushi please -"

"Nahi sunnege humari baat? Theek hai. Hum aate hai."

Horrified, he had watched her climb up on the wall, swaying precariously on the edge as she threw out her arms, fighting to keep her weak body balanced.

"KHUSHI!"

And he had grabbed her hand.

*

The wind played with her hair, soft swirls of black caressing her face, his face.

He looked away, his heart breaking. He had to tell her. Maybe then she would understand, make the pain easier for him, let him go.

He took a deep breath.

*

She watched him as he prepared himself, clearing his throat, wetting his lips.

She watched him intently as he began to speak.

*

"I did it, Khushi. I sent him after you. Meine bheja uss kamineko tumhari pass."

"I didn't think - I was angry. I was really angry."

"Meine jhoot kaha. I did care. I do care. Fadak parta hai. Mein nahi chaati thi ki tum waha jungle mein raat bhar - aur subhe me mujhei waha jaane parta. Tumhe lene. Mujhe pata tha ki tum waha se akele uss halat mein kahi nahi jaati. I didn't want to be the one to go. Tumhare - tumhare shakal nahi dekna tha mujhe. Par - par tumko kisiki madat chahiyethi. Aur meine - meine gusse mein aake - ussko bhejdiya."

"Mujhe laaga - mujhe laaga tum dono ek dusre ko chaahtiho. Pyar karti ho. Mujhe laaga ki tum dono Di ko dhoka - ki tum donoke liye Di - aur jab mein dekha tum Di ki haat se phone -"

"Khushi, tum sun rahiho, na?"

"Khushi, mujhe jaane do. Let me go. Please."

"Bohat bari garbar ho gayi. Meri wajaise - tum - tum mere akho ki samne - woh - usne tumhe - aur meine kuch nahi kar payi -"

"You don't deserve this, Khushi. You don't deserve any of this. You deserve so much better."

"I ruined your life, dammit!"

"Mujhe - mujhe yeh sab nahi aata hai. Yeh daard nahi sah jaata hai mujhe."

"Tumhe dukh hamesha mein detihu. Jabse tumhari zindagi mein aayihu, tabse tumhe dukh aur dukh -"

"Meri jaane ki baad sabh theek ho jayega."

"Tum aapni zindagi firse -"

"Khushi - tum - tum chan se ji paogi."

"Aur tum khush rahogi."

"Khushi - Khushi -"

"Mujhse galti hogayi."

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

*

He rambled on in his broken voice with incomplete, haltering sentences until the tiniest piece of his brain registered what his eyes had not.

He could not feel her hand on his anymore.

She had let go.

*

"I did it, Khushi. I sent him after you. Meine bheja uss kamineko tumhari pass."

*

The world erupted into flames as she let go of him as though scorched. Her heart seared with pain, and she was suddenly excruciatingly aware of the dampness between her legs, of the dull, throbbing ache - of the deed that had taken place hours ago - because of him. The man she loved. The man she loved.

Loved.

Love.

How could you, Arnavji? How could you?

Her vision wavered dangerously for a moment as her head swam with too many things that were now rendered insignificant.

It was all because of him.

He had done it.

It was his fault. It had been entirely his fault.

She needed to go away - no, he did.

She didn't feel safe anymore.

Nothing was safe when he was around.

Nothing was predictable.

There was no such thing as stability with this man.

He could turn someone's world completely upside down in a matter of hours.

He was too dangerous.

Nothing was what it seemed.

He was right.

Maybe it would be better.

It would be.

She wouldn't have been raped, for instance.

It would be better.

And then maybe the pain would go away.

Maybe then she could stop feeling.

*

He watched her trying to back away, his grief replaced by overwhelming concern as she wobbled, still weak from the recent excursion.

"Khushi!" he cried, stepping forwards. "Be careful! -"

He reached for her arm, hoping to steady her before she hurt herself.

A glance at her face made him freeze.

It was the most terrible thing he had ever seen.

It couldn't be Khushi's face, because that thing that looked at him was now filled with blank hatred.

It was the most bewildering emotion he had ever seen.

And yet the most familiar.

It was the ASR mask.

But it couldn't be her face. Khushi didn't know how to make that face. She didn't know how to not feel. She didn't have to hate. She never hated.

Yet it was there, and he could see it.

Gone were the warm, moist eyes that shined with confused and overwhelmed feeling every time they looked upon him.

Instead he could see only a mass of dark storm, hiding away his heart, his life.

Perhaps forever.

I did this, he thought dazedly. I killed her.

*

She hissed for him to step back, whispering the words with cold fury.

Despair took him over as he paid no heed to her demand and stepped closer, his heart breaking as he realized her hatred for him.

And he knew that all this time, he had been hoping.

Hoping that she would forgive him when she would come to know the truth.

Her eyes were screaming for him to back off.

Don't you dare touch me, they said.

He could hear them as clearly as though she had spoken them herself.

It was only moments later when he realized that she had.

*

There was a limit to things.

And he had crossed all.

Wordlessly, she watched as he registered what she had said; she watched him as his face contorted with grief, guilt, remorse - everything. His lips moved as a look of defeated resignation came upon him, and he finally stepped back.

She could hear him saying sorry.

Why was it always too late when he did that?

Because they were useless words now.

His mistakes had been too inhuman.

She couldn't forgive.

Not anymore.

She watched him still as he continued to step backwards, his eyes never leaving her face, his steps grazing the edge of the ledge. Tiny bits of rubble and dust loosened from beneath his feet and made their way to the ground four storeys below.

He would be punished better if he was made to stay, she thought to herself. He's choosing the easiest way out.

But she made no move to stop him and stayed where she was.

*

He continued to step backwards, all his pretense of staying strong and not giving in long gone. He didn't recognize this Khushi. She wasn't saying a word.

Does she really want me to - ?

No, never.

She could never.

And he continued to step back, waiting for her to stop him, dying to hear her stop him.

She can't hate me that much to want me to -

Does she?

No -

Maybe she does -

No!

I deserve it.

His own voice swam lazily into his head as he took another unknown step back, his eyes glazed with tears:

"Die, for all I care. And this time, I mean it."

And he finally tore his gaze away from her face and looked below.

*

They say that one's own life flashes before their eyes before they die.

And they were right.

She saw everything.

*

He lifted his foot into the air, embracing the sudden nothingness beneath. He relished the thought of the coming bang, the boom - whatever it was, the impact - and he couldn't wait for it. For he knew he could never, ever forgive himself for dragging her out this far. For being responsible for everything that had happened.

He stood with one foot suspended in space, his shirt billowing in the wind - and the night sky bloomed into a sprawling mess of stars.

His face twitched as a faint smile hovered near his lips, his eyes red and shining as he fixed his gaze on the bright, twinkling star above that pulsed together with the beats of his heart.

Ma. Aap mere saath hai. Mujhe aur kuch nahi chahiye.

Kaash meine woh nehi kiya hota jo meine kiya.

Kaash.

I'm sorry I hurt you.

I'm sorry I didn't believe.

But thank you.

Thank you for being with me tonight.

Every night.

And he remembered words that had been uttered light years ago - a whisper telling him that it would be too late to believe. That when he would finally give in, she would not be there.

And she wasn't.

He didn't look at her as he readied himself for what was to come.

Instead he looked at the face etched in his heart, in his brain - imprinted on the backs of his eyelids.

It was her. And she was smiling. A fairy draped in colours.

A figure bathed in unadulterated light.

His most precious.

*

*

She hurtled into him, the force reducing them both to the last stages of the perfect balance that was required to keep them from plummeting to their deaths some forty feet below. He held her tightly, very unsure of what was happening. She shook off his arms, and pushed with all her might.

"GO!" she snarled.

He was speechless as his arms flapped and flailed uselessly in the air, his eyes wide with shock.

And then a pair of small hands grabbed his tilting body by the collar and he found himself looking into her blazing, ferocious eyes.

And his heart leapt, because he recognized that look.

Khushi Kumari Gupta was back.

*

She couldn't do it.

And so she did the only thing that made sense.

She raged at him.

"Aap abhi tak kyun nahin gaye? Itni der kyun karrahe hai? Chalijaiye aap!"

He could see tears pooling in her eyes. He could see the last vestiges of the blank look in her irises going, going - gone.

"Khushi," he whispered, his lips numb as he looked down at her shaking form, at the way she held him away from her, at the way she clung to him.

Nafrat paas aane na de, mohabbat door jaane na de.

"Nahin Khushi! No Khushi! Maat lijiye humari naam! Ham aapse nafrat karti hai! Samjhi aap?"

She beat her fists on his hard chest.

And he found himself getting lighter with her every blow, her every push.

Maaro Khushi, aur maaro.

Hit me with everything you have.

Don't stop, Khushi.

Please.

Because it is never going to be enough.

"Kyun kiya aapne asa!"

"Kyun? Kyun?? Jawab dijiye!"

She raised her hand and slapped him across the face as hard as she could. His head was flung to the side as his cheek burned red.

"Jawab dijiye! DIJIYE JAWAB!"

SMACK.

"KYUN KIYA AAPNE?"

SMACK.

"YEH KYA KIYA AAPNE? AAP JANTE BHI HAI AAPNE KYA KIYA?"

"KYUN USKO BHEJA?"

"KAISE KIYA YEH AAPNE?"

"KYUN HUMARI BHAROSA TOOTA?"

"KYUN AAP HUME BAR BAR GALAT SAMJHA? HAMESHA GALAT SAMJHA?"

"AAP ITNE GHTAIYA HARKAT KAISE KAR SAKTI HAI HUMARI SAATH?"

"KYUN KIYA AAPNE YEH SAB? KYUN HUMARI SAB KUCH CHEENLIYA?"

"KYUN?"

Her voice grew hoarse and broken as she screamed at him, anguished tears making their way down her cheeks as she shook him desperately by the collar, determined to rattle the answers out of him.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Her hands moved down to his chest as she breathed heavily, her breasts heaving, grief evident in her eyes.

"I'm sorry," he said again, his heart in piercing splinters as he looked down at her huddled form.

Her nails dug into his skin as she clutched at him, sobs wrecking out of her small body.

"Khushi - tum - tum mujhe jaane kyun nahi diya -"

"You should have let me go. Let me go, Khushi."

How could she explain to him that she had seen their lives flash before her eyes as he took that first step? How could she tell him that it was she who would feel the pain of his death, and not him?

How could she tell him that she had tried to do it, tried to help him do what he had wanted, what she thought she had wanted? She had tried to let go, even pushed him, but - when his body had arched so dangerously towards - towards -

It had rumbled.

She had felt it deep within her, screaming in protest, screaming so that she couldn't ignore it, so that it wouldn't be forgotten.

It was her dhak dhak.

And it had thrown her into a pit of never ending darkness that was more painful than anything that she had ever felt.

More painful than anything.

More than -

She brought his face close to hers.

How could she tell him that she still felt it? Despite despising him?

"Aap kya samajti hai aapne aap ko? Sorry kahenge aur sab theek ho jayega? Aur yeh kya naya tarika hai ham e takleef dene - yeh kya let go let go - kya karne jahrete aap -"

"Khushi, bas - chordo mujhe -"

"Nahi chorenge hum! Bohat dekhliya! Bohat sochliya! Ab tak hum waha par the. Aur aap yaha ek pair hava mein kitne der se jhulate rahe -"

"Khushi -"

"Aap yeh kya karne jarahite?" she choked, her voice raw and barely audible.

"Khushi - Khushi tum -"

"Humne kaha na! Humari naam maat lijiye!"

She was screaming again. She didn't know what she was screaming, what she was saying. She didn't care. She didn't care if her sentences contradicted each other, because that was exactly how she felt.

The fear of losing him tore through her once more as she succumbed to dry tears, sending a wave of fresh agony over her body. A wave of darkness. And she hated the dark.

And she hated him for making her feel this way.

*

*

He was being shaken by the collar. He was being shouted at. He was being slapped. He had just been saved from suicide by the girl he had come to love. By the girl who he had betrayed in the worst possible way. He was profusely apologizing. And he was overwhelmed with feelings.

It was a situation Arnav Singh Raizada would have never been caught dead in a mere year ago.

But then he had met Khushi.

And he could ignore happiness no longer when it was staring at him in the face.

He had tried to.

He had done everything humanely and inhumanely possible to get it out of the way.

But it had been persistent. It had absolutely insisted for him to let it in.

So he had relented.

And so everything had changed.

...

He looked at her moving mouth, memorizing the way her lips drew back against her teeth in a strangled growl. He looked at her face, at the little pimple that was starting to grow right above her left eyebrow. At the way her eyes were brimming with tears. At the way she was still shouting at him. Affection gushed into his heart as his eyes softened fondly at the woman he loved.

"Aap kaise humari naam lesakte hai? Itna sab kuch hojane ki baad?"

"Khushi, meine kaha na. I'm sorry. Lekin mein jantihu ki yeh mamuli shaabdh kuch bhi nahi -"

"Hum ab usske bath nahi karrahehai! Hum abhike baath karrahe hai! Aapki himmat kaise huyi humko chorkar - humari saath aise -"

"Tumhari saath kya, Khushi?"

"Aap - yeh! Yeh sab! Aap kaise yeh - marne ka aapko bohut shok hai, na? Toh mariye!"

She pushed him again, her hair whipping across her face. Yet her hands were clutching fistfuls of his shirt, refusing to let him go.

"So let me. Chordo mujhe."

"Humne chor diya tha. Par aapne itni der laga di ki -"

"Ki kya, Khushi? Tumne mujhe firse roka kyun? Mein jiyu ya maru, tumhe kya fadak parta hai??"

She looked at him angrily, her face flushed. This was hardly the time to play this game - their game. And how could he still not see it?

"Aap pehle bataiye ki aap aise kaise ja sakte-"

"Tum kaise mujhe jaane diya? Kyun chordiya mujhe?"

She gaped at him, furious. How dare he try to turn the tables?

"Toh kya huwa? Aap ko kya fadak padta hai ki mein aapko chordu ya nahin? Aur humne chordiya, toh aap aapne aap ko mardalenge?"

"Not again, Khushi! Meine kahana, mujhe fadak padta hai!"

"Kyun? Kyun aapko fadak padta hai? Agar fadak parta hai toh kyun aapne mujhe ek baar bhi nahi poocha, ki Khushi, kya woh aadmi saach kahrahihe, kya tumne wakei mein -"

"Aur tum? Why didn't you fight back, dammit? Why didn't you say something?"

"Humne koshish kiya tha! Par aapne hume gharse bahar nikal diyatha! Aur hum aapni jijike khushi ki liye kuch bhi karsakti -"

"Aur vahi Jijine -"

He bit back the retort with great effort. How could he tell her that the sister she had done so much for had broken off her wedding? She would be devastated. And she would think it was all her fault. No, he couldn't do that to her. Not now. In time, he supposed, everything would come out.

Khushi waited for him to finish his sentence, her rage briefly subdued as dread crept into her stomach.

"Vahi Jijine kya? Kya huwa? Bataiye na!"

"Nothing. I don't have to answer to you, Khushi Kumari Gupta."

He saw a flash of hurt flicker across her face as she slackened her grip on him, her fiery strength weakening at his words. But he had no choice. He had to distract her.

And you picked this to distract her with?

She shook as she finally let go of him, and he peered at her face as she gazed at the crumpled spot on his shirt she had been holding on to as dearly as though her life depended on it.

"Hum jaante hai," she began shakily. "Aapko mujhe jawab deneki koi zaroorat -"

She was rendered silent as with one long stride, he pulled her into his arms and squashed her into his chest.

*

It felt warm and comfortable, just like before when he had rescued her from Shyam. She fit snugly into him, and she shifted her head towards the crook of his neck, her wet eyelashes fluttering against his bare skin. He felt her taking deep, calming breaths as she nestled in closer, inhaling him.

His arms tightened around her as he buried his face in her hair. She felt his breathing grow ragged and hitched as he trembled, his head on her shoulder. His breath tickled her ear, and she closed her eyes, feeling at peace.

This felt right.

She belonged here.

And he knew he would always be hers to belong.

*

Bleeding love.

That's what his heart was doing.

She felt the unsaid things that were seeping from it.

And then came the moment Khushi would never forget when he broke down in her arms.

"I'm sorry Khushi! Mujhe maaf kardo! Please!"

His violent sobs pierced her heart as they echoed in the night, the wails slightly muffled as he pressed her mouth into her hair. He racked with them as she remained crushed against him, aghast, enveloped within his body. He felt his knees buckling, and leaned onto her, holding her even more tightly. She felt him surface, gasping for breath, shaking his head against her shoulder, his wet face grazing her collarbones. She didn't know what was happening; it was all too unfamiliar, too unknown a territory - and yet it wasn't. She knew this side of him. She had seen it too many times.

His sobs wrecked her, destroyed her - it was worse than a wounded animal's howl - she wanted it to stop, it was hurting him, it was hurting her -

"Arnavji -"

"Khushi mein tumhari bina kuch nahi hu! Kuch nahi!"

She froze.

The words had come and gone, but had she really heard them?

Had he really said -? No, no.

No.

Don't say any more, Arnavji.

Please.

For that will be my undoing.

My heart can't take anymore.

I don't know what to feel.

I'm scared of feeling, Arnavji.

Please don't say anything. Please.

But he couldn't listen to her thoughts. He didn't want to know why she stiffened against him. All he knew was that he had to tell her. He had to tell her why. He would tell her the thing he had gone to tell her that night on the terrace. Nothing mattered anymore.

Aaj mein Khushiko batadungi, ki mujhe fadak kiyu parta hai.

"Jab mein tumhe uske saath dekha toh - toh mujhe laaga - mujhe laage meine tumko kho diya," he said softly, his voice wavering as he attempted in vain to fight his tears.

He had never done this before. It was always Di who had been the sole witness to his tears, to his breakdowns. It was in Di's lap that he would allow himself to be thisvulnerable, this exposed. But he was here, and he was laying down his feelings, bare for her to see. No disguises, no lies, no cover ups. He refused to be afraid, he refused to hide. He was not going to run away from her again. Never again would he let her go. He imagined himself laying his head down on Khushi's lap, staring quietly into her eyes while she caressed his face. He did not cringe at the thought.

He ached for it. He ached for her.

"Mujhe laaga tum usko pyaar karti ho, and I lost control - I lost control, Khushi."

She bit her lip, tears pouring down her face as she restrained herself from throwing her arms around him. His words echoed in her head.

Mujhe laaga tum usko pyaar karti ho.

How? How did - why did - how? Why is he so stupid?? Hai Devi Maiyya!

"Mein daar gaya tha Khushi. I had never felt this way before. Tumhe khoneka daar mujhe pagal - it didn't let me think, dammit! I didn't think. I couldn't." His voice was pleading, begging her to understand him, understand his plight. Begging her again to see how goddamn sorry he was.

Her hands which had been pressed flatly against his chest balled into fists as she clutched fistfuls of his shirt once more, her resolve weakening as she tried desperately to hold it back, to deafen her heart, to defy it. She trembled as he spoke again, his moist breath and wet lips moving against her neck.

"Meine tab sabh kuch kho diya tha. Mujhe laaga tum mujko chorke chali gayi. Door, bohat door. Mujhe laaga tum kabhi wapas nahi aogi."

He raised his head, and she felt the dampness on her shoulder cool on her skin as the air caressed the spot he had been crying on. She looked up at him for the first time since his outburst, almost fearful of what she would find; her gaze was shy, reluctant, and unwilling, but it was searching, it was hoping.

Arnav stared back at her, his face drenched in snot and tears, his eyes a bloody red, his cheeks shining with salty wetness. She couldn't understand his expression. There were too many feelings swirling in it. But whatever she saw, it set her heart thudding off furiously, threatening to burst forth from its cage - it lifted her spirits and the corners of her mouth, it tugged playfully at her hair and made the city lights and the stars above sparkle, and it made her want to fly.

"Khushi," he choked.

"Hmm."

"Say something, dammit."

She frowned, deep in thought. She didn't trust herself to speak. She needed to calm down, pacify the racing mechanism which was pumping blood through her veins and arteries at a dangerously high pace. If she spoke now, she couldn't be held accountable for her words. She wasn't in the right mind. She was too giddy. She felt too faint. She was sure her voice would be no more than a squeak -

"Khushi, please."

She looked back at him, moving from one bloodshot eye to the other, scanning them, trying to see through them, see the lie that would break this illusion once and for all. But she saw none.

Something snapped inside her as she made up her mind, deciding to take the leap.

He had done the unthinkable, but he had repented.

Whether it was by ruining his own silk pyjamas with his tears, or by almost confessing his feelings - whatever it was, Khushi didn't know.

And she didn't care.

Because it was enough.

She knew she would never forgive him for doing what he did. She knew he knew that.

It had been a mistake. A terrible one. An inhumane one.

Yet it made him human.

It made him "perfectly imperfect," as her friend Nameera would have said.

To err is human. Regardless of the err.

But whatever it was, it did not matter anymore.

She wanted to move on, to touch this happiness, this hope that had sprung up inside her, chasing the darkness away. It was the most beautiful thing, and she wanted it. Not for her family, not for anyone else - she wanted it for her. She wanted it with him. And she wanted him to see how beautiful it was.

Slowly, she reached up around his neck, pulling him in until their noses touched. She could see every tear that clung to his eyelashes, every intricate pattern in his overgrown stubble. His eyes were questioning her, burning for her to say something,anything. She felt him shiver beneath her fingers as her hands knotted themselves in his hair.

"Aap kaise soch liya ki hum usko pyar karthihai?" she asked softly, her breath fanning his face.

His gaze was wide and probing as he looked at her, his ears perking as his insides screamed for her to continue.

"Kaise nahi dekha ki - humari dil ke baath - aapne kaise nahi dekha ki hum -"

"Tum-?" he asked huskily, his eyes darkening, his breath quickening.

Khushi looked away, blushing as his grip on her waist tightened.

"Nahi. Aap pehle bataiye."

"Kya batau?"

"Aapko acchise pata hai hum kya sunna chahtihai."

"Nahi pata."

"Toh fir hum jo poochenge woh aap - aap jawab denge," she said lamely, her cheeks burning crimson.

"Theek hai. Poocho."

A flash of yellow and orange; the clinking of bangles.

"Kya aapne humari liye chudiyaan kharidethi?"

"Ha. Tumhare liye chudiyaan meinehi kharidethi."

"Nahi. Hum nahi kar sakte."

"Kyun?"

Because it was just too hard. She finally understood why she had asked that question first that night. It had seemed easier, way easier, than asking why. 'Why' for every little thing he did.

"Kyunki aap humari saval jaantihai."

"Mujhe nahi pata. Tum poochlo."

She glared at him, irritated at the smug expression dancing in his eyes.

He thinks I won't do it! Kya samajti hai aapne aapko?

"Theek hai."

He stared at her, baffled, blinking back in surprise.

"Aapne humari liye chudiyaan kyun kharidi?"

Astonishment clouded his face as he gazed at her in wonder. Memories, memories of that beautiful night flooded his mind as he struggled to not drown in their sweetness.

"Kya woh saab wakei mein chaar din pehle huwata?" he asked dazedly, more to himself than to her.

She nodded, lowering her eyes.

But it seems so long ago. So very long ago. And she had asked me the same question.

The same question.

And his tear-stained face pulled into a goofy grin.

*

She felt her face tilting upwards as he lifted her chin, his fingers gentle and confident. Her lips quivered as she recognized his gaze. Her heart soared as she remembered that gaze. Her insides squirmed and the pain between her legs throbbed with life as she feltthat gaze.

It was unmistakably there.

It was back.

"Kyun ki."

She found herself holding her breath as he took her hand, and still looking deeply into her eyes, placed it on his heart.

DHAK DHAK- DHAK DHAK.. DHAK DHAK. DHAK DHAK-DHAK DHAK DHAKDHAKDHAKDHAK-

He was breathless as he let his forehead rest on hers.

"Khushi."

"Ha," she breathed.

"Mein," he whispered slowly, his breath blowing a few strands of her hair into her eyes.

She clenched her fists, her skin prickling as she fought to keep her drumming heart in control.

"I love you,"

The world stopped. Her eyes sought his, happiness sparkling in them as the tears threatened to spill.

"-nahi bolungi."

He smirked at her expression as she swatted him on the arm, then held her wrist in an iron lock grip as his other hand pressed her palm more tightly against his heart.

"Khushi, look at me."

Laad Governor.

"Khushi."

"Kya."

"Ab tum bolo."

"Nahi -"

The words had hardly left her lips when he swooped in to kiss her on the cheek. This time it was longer, sensual - and it was making her knees give way.

"Arnavji," she moaned.

"Hmm."

"Hum -"

"Hmmm?" he prodded, nuzzling her neck.

"Nahi bol sakte," she sighed, giving in.

"Khushi," he whispered, kissing her ear.

"Hmm?"

"Mere saath bolo. I -"

"I,"

"Love -"

"Lo-Love-"

"You."

"You."

His heart stilled as she whispered the last word, and she watched transfixed as his face broke into the happiest smile she had ever seen.

Her tongue played with Nahi bolsakti, nahi bolsakti, but the words died forever in her mouth as he pulled her into his arms once more, and then their hearts united, and beat as one.

*

They found them clinging to each other on the terrace wall, their arms wrapped tight around each other as if to shoo off the first person who would even think of trying to pry them apart. Anjali's eyes widened as she took in the sight, her heart thudding fearfully; she stepped forward, her intention of getting her brother and Khushiji down from their dangerous disposition on the wall quite apparent in her face.

"Cho -"

"Ssshhh!" said Nani quietly, shaking her head. Her granddaughter looked back at her, torn between her desire to interfere for their own safety, and to let them be. Nani's eyes softened as she held her hand tightly, squeezing it to communicate feelings Anjali already knew.

He would never let anything bad happen to her ever again.

And neither would she.

Grandmother and granddaughter led the way downstairs, the rest of the family following in their wake, looking back again and again, just to catch another glimpse of the fierce love they had just witnessed.

There was so much to sort out. What was true, what was not? What was right? What had happened to Shyam? What about the broken marriage? There were just so many questions. Only Devi Maiyya knew just how much they wanted their answers. But seeing them together had been oddly comforting; it had filled their lost hearts, given them a little hope, a little more patience.

And for now, the rest could wait.

*

To the gods above, submission was an interesting behaviour to observe among dominant mortal males. They watched pleased as the man they had despised for too long repented for his mistakes in the arms of a girl ten years younger than him, the girl he had abused countless times before. They cheered as his heart sought solace with hers, their heartbeats hating each other, yet quite unable to beat without the other. They cheered as they came together in unison. He was the lion in his pride, and he had found the lioness that would match him in temper and passion, in health and sickness, in love and war. He had found her. He had found his love, his Khushi. They had known he would. And now he knew he had.

They finally reclined back into their godly seats, massaging their necks from all the craning they had been doing.

It had been a very long week.

Indeed.

*

22 pages!
if you're reading this, I SALUTE YOU SIR!
oops
i meant madame! hehe
do guys ever come here?
anyway
thank you for sticking with this till the end
i love you, and i've had an amazing time writing this!
and i hope you'll enjoy it and not curse at me for TOTALLY wasting your time :P
i did try to make the ending ... well, suit the situation and the characters AND make it interesting.
having none of the talent that some of my dear fellow writers have, i couldnt make it short and have all that in there.
and yes, i know. no smutness. to those who are wondering.
there were no warning sings, remember? :P
i know. i'm terrible. i made Khushi and Shyam get all intimate and Khushi and Arnav have wordplay :P
PLEASE comment and PM and like as much as you can with feedback, i would love to know your thoughts!
and yes. i know. hindi. i massacred it.
cheers!

awesome update... a nice satisfying ending...

SPEECHLESS... was so amazingly beautiful.. the importance of repent over punishment... loved it.. so beautifully written.. I am so satisfied with the end.. not because it was happy ending but because it was worth it..

amzing update...so intense and emotional!!...very well written😊
great ending👏👏

RESERVED!

*** EDIT***

...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...

As you can see, you have truly rendered me speechless. I read your part the day you updated it, but I thought in my excitement to read it and get to the end, I was bound to have read it without truly absorbing the text and drowning in the beauty of your writing. So, as soon as my busy senior year schedule permitted me to do so, I went back and read all three parts slowly, savoring every bit of the third one, my favorite. I apologize for the mediocre adjectives I'm going to use (as you see, everyone is not as talented as you), but IT WAS MINDBLOWING, HEAVENLY, CAPTIVATING, and most of all just, PERFECT!! Not the regular kind of perfect, but perfect in the sense that it captured the essence of ArHi and there's no bigger compliment, in my opinion, for a fanfic writer. I love that fact that your updates are long so when I finish, I always feel satisfied and the waiting pays off. I, as a reader, didn't know the kind of ending I wanted. Happy would've been inappropriate considering the circumstances and sad would've been heartwrenching. But you worked your mind and wove these beautiful words into one of the most beautiful endings I have read. The way you progressed the part from being suicidal, to anger, to acceptance, to forgiveness, to love, and finally to confession. You deserve a standing ovation girl for making it fit so perfectly, It was a happy ending yet it felt in no way inappropriate even under the current circumstances. I was thinking that Arnav would never be able to redeem himself no matter what, but as a great writer should, you proved me wrong. The redemption was in character and I felt my heart go out to Arnav. Khushi... she was just Khushi. I loved every part of her reaction... It epitomized a realistic reaction. I am going to say it just one more time just in case I didn't make it clear before, YOU ARE GIFTED! Thank you for letting the readers read this and be honored that such great talent exists among us.
Lots of Love,
Jazzy
P.S.: I WANT MORE WRITING FROM YOU
P.P.S.: I know my comment is long as it is, but I have one more thing to add. Do not worry for a second about the people who don't comment. A lot of us are lazy, like I used to be, but that doesn't mean they don't appreciate your work. People will come around as you write more. And your comment about no warnings/disclaimers, girl the intensity of this conversation surpassed any sexual content you could've included. THIS is who ArHi are to us. The other "stuff" just made me nauseated, except when Arnav castrated Shyaam. Oh how satisfying that was.

I SALUTE YOU SENORITA 👏

sooo beautiful..loved every bit of it...in awww of dis endin ...sooo arhi

" i know. i'm terrible. i made Khushi and Shyam get all intimate and Khushi and Arnav have wordplay :P "