Posted:
Title inspired from Stephen King story called 'That Feeling, You can Only Say it in French'. Don't worry, this is not horror. 😆
That Feeling You Only See in Movies
'Maanvi, please,' Beeji said, extending her hand out to comfort her granddaughter, then withdrawing it awkwardly. Maanvi tried her best not to let out a whole Ganga of tears, but it was in vain. She was dying on the inside, as if there was some kind of vicious being in her heart that was eating up her soul. You promised to do whatever I said...well, then, don't come to your sister's wedding. Damnit, what the hell?? Why did everyone always have so many problems with her?
When she was a child, her illness had been a problem. When her mother died, her willfulness in her strict grandmother's household became a problem. She was a problem for Virat and a problem for Soumini Bua and possibly the entire Vadhera household. Well fine, she could handle that. But Jeevika? Now she was the only obstacle in her beloved sister's wedding? She couldn't cope with the guilt of that. Even if the sorrow killed her, she would have to bear it.
She swallowed her tears as she heard her sister worriedly call out 'Maanvi?' Maanvi tried her best to go back from snivelling wreck to the carefree younger sister, but it just wasn't possible. She would never get to see her sister being stolen away from her. She would be like that guy she'd read about in a newspaper once, the one who was blindfolded and tied up by the henchmen of a robber while his entire safe was wiped clean. Except that the treasure she was losing was her own life, her Jeevika.
Jeevika was worried by her sister's dull appearance, but she did not say anything. She already knew that Maanvi was unhappy about the fact that they would be separated after marriage. There were times when she felt that she was being selfish, but at the same time, she knew that sooner or later Beeji would have married her off anyway. Perhaps it was just as well that her husband didn't have any problems with her attachment to her sister.
Maanvi waited till Jeevika was asleep then slipped out of bed, careful not to disturb her sister. She went to the garden outside, hoping that the balmy winter breeze outside would soothe her frayed nerves. However, her hopes were dashed. Viraat was sitting there, his eyes focused on the stars, but his mind evidently somewhere other than the constellations.
'Maanvi,' he called out, just as she was about to turn away and go back to her bedroom. She sulkily stepped out of the gloom, revealing herself to him. Virat almost toppled over from the chair he was sitting on. Even in a pair of faded pyjamas and an old T-shirt, she looked prettier than she did in that pink dress during the sangeet. Then he detached himself from La-La land and came to the topic he was meaning to speak to her on.
'Maanvi...this may sound weird, but today I caught someone trying to kill Viren bhaiyya.'
Immediately, Maanvi's grief was replaced with fear. Kill? What the hell? Why would anyone want to kill her Viren jiju? Maanvi didn't have much experience of the world, but she knew that men like Viren Vadhera were rare. The very thought of someone having an enmity against her sweet and docile brother-in-law morbidly amused her.
'I know what you're thinking,' he said immediately, 'but then, you know that Bhai is a lawyer. There's this man called Jaiswal who wants to illegally build a mall, and Dadaji told Bhai not to get involved in this case, but as I said, Bhai is a lawyer...'
Maanvi was filled with admiration. Suddenly she realized that her sister and Viren were truly perfect for each other. Her sister's obedience and conformity to rules had always annoyed her, but then,it was probably what had made someone as perfect as Viren attracted to her.
'Where's the guy?' she asked worriedly.
Virat sighed. 'He ran away. I could only get his gun.'
Maanvi made a face. 'Lallu. Couldn't have expected anything more from you.'
Virat's eyeballs nearly popped out. 'Excuse me? You try seeing someone trying to kill your sister and have the calm to go and catch that person! Knowing you, you would probably start screaming 'Oh god, help, koi meri jeevika di ko bachaao!' he imitated in a high-pitched tone.
Maanvi rolled her eyes. 'I'm not going to waste time arguing with you, or else who knows, you'll again start shouting at me for telling me what a sadist and bad person I am.'
Virat cooled. 'I never said you were a bad person. Just a total bandariya.Anyway,' he continued, as Maanvi opened her mouth to make a sharp retort, 'This is just to tell you that we are upping the security, so tell your family not to panic, it's routine work.'
'Of course,' said Maanvi, plastering a fake smile on her face, 'But only for my Viren jiju. Or else I would rather die than follow your instructions.'
'Oh hello madam,' said Virat, unable to control himself any longer, 'If it wasn't for my instructions at the mata ki chowki, you could have actually died, do you know that?'
'To behtar hota!' said Maanvi, unable to control her angst any longer. ' Maybe it would have been better if I had just died! After all everyone hates me-you, your stupid aunt, my grandmom, everyone! You'll hate me so much, you'll won't even let me attend my own sister's wedding!' The tears which she had struggled to keep inside finally came out, coursing down her cheeks.
'Maanvi,' he said softly, convering her mouth with his hand. He was shocked by the dramatic outburst, and positively astounded by the revelation she had just made. But at the same time, he could empathize with her. He knew that if anyone stopped him from seeing his own Viren bhai and Jeevika bhabhi marry, he would be furious too. For the first time he saw within her a flash of his own pain.
Was it possible that Maanvi's life was similar to his? After all, even she had been orphaned at an early age, the way he had lost his father. And she too had always been scolded by her elders for doing the wrong thing, just like everyone in his household thought he was useless. Sometimes love was not enough, he thought. What you needed was care and respect, something which both of them had never had.
Maanvi stopped crying, oddly silenced by the feeling of his skin on her lips. He gently placed his other hand on the small of her back. 'I'm sorry. Look, what I did at the sangeet was just revenge for what you made me do at the mehendi. I'll talk to Soumini Bua again for you okay?' The air between them suddenly grew static, as if they were being frozen in time. It was only occasionally punctuated by her sniffles.
'Maanvi, please don't misunderstand my Bua. She doesn't hate you, it's just that she doesn't want any disturbance during the wedding. But I'll tell bhai, he'll sort it out, please Maanvi anything, but don't cry,' he pleaded, suddenly feeling desperate to bring a smile on her face. 'And if that doesn't work, I'll carry you to the mandap okay?'
'Oye Chep,' she said quietly,' there's no need to do anything like that.' Maanvi looked up and though there was an expression of mock disgust on face, he could see the gratitude in her eyes.
'Whatever,' he said, leaning back, and breaking contact between them. Suddenly the breeze returned and time started creaking its wheels again. 'Waise bhi you're so moti my back would break carrying you.'
'What?' screamed Maanvi, outraged. 'Sshh,' he said, covering her mouth again. 'Soumini Bua can forgive you for what you did at the sangeet, but not for disturbing her beauty sleep.' Maanvi giggled, and she suddenly felt a peculiar feeling, something that reminded her of the time she, Jeevika and their mother had gone to see some stupid film once. What was it...it was as if her mind was not allowing her to read that word. Whatever it was, it was nice. It tingled all over. And it stayed even when she went back to her room and suddenly realised she was very sleepy.
