MN - Trapped in MAGIC. - Page 5

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daniella05 thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#41
awesome start...
continue soon
waiting for the next part!
Prada_176 thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#42
Congrats Kinzu for new FF

Starting is scary; title suggests something wrong going to happen…n m curious to know

Continue soon

Ps : pls don't make Mayank negative character

Shafy_Kaira_MN thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#43

Originally posted by: mulan.

i was eagerly waiting for thsi story but still wanst prepared for it to turn out this way!! loved the first chapter and simply in awe with the way u portrayed it!!! it was simple yet amazing... the innocence of the family versus the darkness of teh night and thn ofcourse those people!!


eagerly waiting for the next part and good to see u back so soon!! welcome back adn m looking forward to this ff eagerly!!!waiting to read how this turns out and as i said earlier m in love with the name and its completely perfect!!! 👏




nice start...
Shafy_Kaira_MN thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#44
i think this one will be... far from fantasies stories.. you... write...
title itself... is... very different and represent to the real world...
weell.. lets... see.. what will be going to trapped.
and please one kind request... though you cant make daily update..
but please don't make the gap of more than a week... please
Edited by shafyyy - 13 years ago
immayurfan thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#45
Awesome start
I can't wait to read more
-SupriyaluvsMN- thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#46
Congos 4 ur new ff kinzu!!! 🥳
yay i'm soo happy my magician is bac wid new MN ff
quite an interestin start ...
wud luv 2 read more magical updates!
cont soon!
luv ya !🤗
Fantasia. thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#47
thank u people!! .. well i got one more holiday so here is the update the very next day!! .. 😛

2. The sort of Protector ..

"hello Police station", Sashi Bhushan spoke in a whisper, because the footfalls were now audible coming downstairs. He gripped the phone tightly and was about to narrate the address when he felt a strong hand on his shoulder, next the phone was taken from his hand and thrown away.

"ziyada chalaki karo gey tu goli se uraana par jaye ga, is liye chup chap jo keh rahen hain wo mano,", the man was tall and dressed in neat clothes, but his face was hidden behind the scarf properly and although Sashi Bhushan felt a shiver, but he was a brave man so looked in his eyes.

"dekho, hum chor nahi hai, bus chupne ki jaga chaiye aj raat, police hamein dhoond rahi hai", he said, holding Sashi bhushan's hands,

"hath choro merey, main ..

Caption, sara ghar dekh liya hai, bus ik karma wo lock hai", another man with an even deeper voice interrupted and he left Sashi Bhushan's hands,

"tu toro lock ko!!", he replied irritated and turned back to Sashi Bhushan, "kia hai us darwaze main?

"dekho, main tum logon ko chupne ki jaga de deta hon, per us darwaze ko band rehne do, merey bache hain ander, wahan jane ki zarorat nahi hai tum logon ko", sashi bhushan replied in a stiff tone but Caption shook his head, "ye possible nahi hai, darwaza tu kholna hi pare ga!!", he held the old man by his arm and dragged him out on the lounge, while the other person was busy opening the lock.

~*~

Seeing the lock twist, three of them felt their heart coming to mouth, and they held each other more tight, "didi, wo log ander aney ki koshish kar rahey hain", noshi said with hiccups and nupur held both of her sisters more tight.

~*~

"ye tu khul nahi raha", tired, the man moved away, whereas Caption, who was tying up Sashi Bhsuhan gave him an angry look, "tum se hota kiya hai", he said and went to him, giving him a hand in opening the lock.

Sashi Bhushan was now tied up, with mouth taped; he could just helplessly watch those two rugged men trying to open the door of his daughter's room. He could feel every cell of his body shiver with the security of his daughters and he just closed his eyes and started praying, only if God could keep his daughters protected, he didn't care about his own safety; only his daughters should be safe. Tears started flowing from his eyes and he closed them firmly when he felt the rope around his legs loosening.

He opened his eyes immediately to see a new, third person, loosening the rope, for a moment he felt maybe he'll open the rope but all he did was - loosen the grip.

"ye kiya kar rahe ho?, Caption shouted and the boy calmly kept his work, "kuch nahi ,rope thori si loose kar raha hon, in ko dard ho raha hoga", he said and Sashi Bhushan's eyes widened.

"tumhara dimagh tu kharab nahi ho gaya!, ye bhag jaye ga!..", caption said

" kuch nahi hoga, main aur ap achi tarah se jantey hain k yeh nahi bhag saktey, bina zaroraat k dard dena ka koi fyaada nahi hai!", he replied stiffly and got up.

Sashi Bhushan looked at the boy for a moment, he was one of them, but still his face had that softness that both his partners lacked, he was just standing in the corner.

"hum sey tu nahi khul raha, tum try karo", the caption and his other partner, Joseph, moved away and the boy, who was standing in the corner moved towards the door slowly and Sashi Bhushan closed his eyes. only if his daughters would remain safe.

~*~

"Didi, lagta hai chaley gaye", noshi said slowly as the twisting of the lock stopped and nupur suddenly felt breath coming, maybe they really left and ..

And suddenly the door was opened with a jerk and nupur held her sisters tight to her and looked at the boy who gate crashed in and he looked back. In sheer silence.

She was breathing heavily, and her huge brown eyes were dilated, holding fear and terror in them, her sisters were clung to her body, hiding their faces in her arms. She looked scared and vulnerable, but still the hold of arms around her sisters was strong and protective. She just stared, silently and observantly.

"kia tum..", Caption came from behind and nupur shifted her eyes to him, but he was still looking at her, or rather staring.

"arey wah!, wo budha tu keh raha tha k us ki bachey hain kamre main, per yahan tu pariyan hain, fairies ..", Caption said venomously, with his eyes roaming around the three bodies and as he took a step further, nupur pushed noshi and pari to her back, "agey mat ana .. ",she took a step back and Caption broke in a giggle, "arey tum dar kyun ..

"Caption", the boy interrupted, "try the phone once again, maybe the roads are clear", he said, stealing a glance at nupur, who had a relaxed expression that the Caption was diverted.

"hmm..", passing the girls a venom filled glance once again, he went outside and as he did, three of them hugged each other again and looking at those scared girls, the boy quietly followed the caption outside and closed the door, and as he did, he heard them breaking into cries.

~*~

"lines connect nahi ho rahin", Caption lied lazily on the sofa while Joseph was quietly examining the home and the third boy was again standing in the corner.

"Joseph, larkiyin ko bahir le aao, un k bauji k pass", Caption smirked and lighted a cigarette and Joseph giggled seeing that silent protest in Sashi Bhsuhan's eyes, "sure caption, abhi le ata hon."

"koi zarorat nahi hai", he again said from the corner and Sashi Bhushan's eyes filled with tears, "wo teeno bht dari hui hain, and we are here only for shelter, no useless pain please", he crossed his arms around his chest and caption and Joseph shook their heads, "ye pata nahi itna naik kahan se a gaya hai!, acha jo do choti hain unhain rehne do, sab se bari wali ko le aao", he said again and Joseph giggled while he felt his nerves contracting, "I said earlier , none of the girls are coming out!, what do you want from them, just let them stay there", , he said angrily and both ' the Caption and Joseph knew there was no need to argue with him.

So, sighing they both lied down again, while he was again standing in the corner, staring at the closed door ' with a blank mind.

Sashi bhushan was constantly praying and inwardly thanking God that he had indeed sent a protector in the form of that boy, he felt his daughters are secured now, even if he is tied up.

~*~

It was almost midnight, when finally Joseph's phone rang, giving a ray of hope, "roads clear!!, lets move", he said enthusiastically and three of them came in motion

"Great!", said the caption and moved towards the Sashi Bhsuhan who had his eyes opened as an eagle, , "joseph what name did u tell me of the eldest girl?', Caption said looking in Sashi's eyes who went wild on seeing that smirk on Caption's face.

"Caption her name is nupur", Joseph giggled and Caption took a deep breath and turned towards their third partner,

"mayank , go bring nupur!, she'll go with us".

3. Helplessness - Page 12

Edited by Fantasia. - 13 years ago
mulan. thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#48
OMG!!! kinzuuu wht an amazing part !!! i could feel shivers run down me !!! it was so damn scray and this proves wht a fab writer u r!!! the way u wrote abt thr entrance into the room, i actually held my breath! and i loved the title of the part, it gave me a good feeling abt tht boy! but tht captain and his way of observing girls ! it was horible! however the last line is wht left me shivering again!!! eagerly waiting for the next part kinzu!!! its simply mindblowing the way u write!! <3 oh btw yayyy! m first one to coment! mujhe to laga tha i will miss it! :( but i got lucky!!!! :) p.s. i have no idea how i skipped ur signature!!! but now tht i have read it, i want to remind u, *i love u kinzu! the most!* <3 <3 baqe baten msgs per! :p loved the part!!! and plz update soon! and congrats anothr holiday! :p but i wanna meet u on tuesday bus!!! <3
Edited by mulan. - 13 years ago
ria.arjun thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#49
tu nahi sudhregi na.. pehlewale FF mein kaha ke aur romance daalo, tune nahi daala... maine kaha ke mayank ko daaku na banao, tune bana diya... 😆 😆 😆

but i liked this mayank, lekin tuney usey "boy" kyun banaya? woh toh "man" hai 🤣 hadd hai mere besharmi ki... 🤣

ok now, jokes apart. the father's fears, the sister's concern and the gratitude of the father towards the kind boy... loved it all...

very well written kinzu 🤗 loved the tense atmosphere. i already hate the Captain and that Joseph 👎🏼 but i love mayank ❤️ waiting for mayank-nupur's encounter and would love to see if and how she goes with him 😊

thank u for the PM, God bless you ❤️
love ya, tc ❤️ 🤗
Edited by rapunzel_angel - 13 years ago
Faria. thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#50
They need a savior and thats why they will take nups for their protection..
but i m tension free- bcoz maaynk was there. he will save nups at any cost... i know he will takes nups with them but he will protect her frm caption and joshep's evil intention...

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