Posted:
I am surprised at the number of posts that have come up over the last couple of weeks that are bashing Geet and calling her all kinds of things just because she chose to leave Maan's house. I am left wondering how many educated women, with exposure to the world, would standby and let anyone malign their character without raising their voice.
Forgiving someone is a personal choice- and we all are wired differently in that sense. Some of us hold grudges for life while others forgive easily and move on. Forgiving Dev was her prerogative and personal choice. She chose to let go of the past because she wanted to be rid of the bitterness it was causing in her present. You and I may feel differently about matters of justice, redemption and forgiveness- and we are surely entitled to our opinion- but that gives us no right to judge Geet or her character. Forgiveness does not necessarily mean a weakness of character- IMHO, it takes immense strength of character to completely forgive someone.
We may think Dev raped Geet- but not once have they shown Geet dwell on that aspect of her marriage with Dev and that she feels violated. They have only dwelled on the deep sense of betrayal she felt. The question of how Geet forgave her rapist becomes moot, IMHO! We are projecting our sensibilities onto a character that clearly does not think about or look at the situation in a similar fashion.
Now coming to how can she do something like this without discussing it with Maan. Dev betrayed Geet not Maan, Geet paid for Dev's deviousness and quite dearly- since she was the victim, at least I feel that the prerogative to forgive was entirely hers. She is an independent human being, with faculties and mental function of her own- surely she can evaluate a situation and come to a conclusion on her own- she does not need validation from Maan at every step. She did try to tell him post facto about her forgiving Dev- motivated by the urge to start life afresh with Maan. It was a decision that was not motivated entirely by personal gain but a desire to see Maan happy as well. The fact that he did not have the patience to stay and listen to what she had to say- was one of the many reasons that the situation blew up the way it did. I don't think Dev said anything very different from what Geet had told Maan, under the impression that he was standing right next to her.
The only scene which I can find fault with, in the entire fiasco, is her playing Holi with Dev. Actually scratch that- the situation was such that probably she could not have avoided it without creating a scene. I only contest the smile on her face- that did not go down well with me as a woman! I think some discomfort or awkwardness should have reflected on her face. Maybe I am projecting my sensibilities onto her now.
Another argument I often come across is that she did not pay heed to Dadi's pleas- Is it only her responsibility to respect the elders' wishes? No onus on Maan? Why must she be the one who has to toe the society's line at every step while her husband and tormentor get a free run?
Can all of Maan's flaws be forgiven because he saved Geet's life again and again? That is just a relationship based on obligation not on love. I think we would be demeaning Maan and Geet's relationship if we expect that Geet should act or react in a certain way because Maan saved her life time and again. I don't think even Maan would stand for that. Every time she has tried to change her behaviour or appearance to please him- he has come back and told her that he likes her just the way she is and does not want her to change herself on his account.
Maan cannot hide all his emotions behind the facade of anger- he also needs to learn that his anger has a deep capacity to hurt the people that he loves the most. He has acted and blown up at Geet, time and again, hastily to only repent in leisure. I am hoping at least now he will realize how important it is to communicate with your partner and sometimes your angry demeanor may intimidate other people and keep them from coming up to you and confiding in you.
Similarly, when to forgive Maan for his perceived wrong- only Geet can judge that. Maan's support and love did a lot to ease many of the wounds inflicted by Dev- when the very man whom she worshipped raised the questions he did and called her what he did- she was shattered. For her probably it was easier to forgive Dev and move on because the confidence and comfort being with Maan had instilled in her. Between Maan's capacity to hurt Geet and Dev's capacity to hurt her there is a magnitude of difference (If I could measure hurt, i.e.). So to say that Geet should forgive him after one radio song dedication - I think is trivializing the issue.
The very man for whom she went and spread her hands in front of her tormentor to save his life, doubts her and raises questions on her character- surely a self sacrificing woman of the 21st century is expected to lap it up and continue to stand by and worship her husband, no matter how out of line he may be. How silly of her to stand up for herself and refuse to lap up all trash sent her way!
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