Raindrops - A Story || Last Chapter : Page 50 - Page 5

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shivangi278 thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#41
hey jaee!!
loved the concept....really different and interesting...
plzzzzzzzz continue soon...😃

459718 thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
#42
Jaee, very interesting indeed.the two stories are such a contrast to each other but both so beautiful where one is in pain the other is just blossoming.
Loved it. Hope to read more soon.
Sajjal
gopi06 thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#43
Congrats jaee....loved ur concept,its very interesting..cont soon
thanks for the pm
JaeeDevRathore thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#44

Originally posted by: .PINK.

hey nice starting realli liked da concept looking forward to read more n is dat da same girl that the doc couldn't save? do cont soon na n plez add me in ur pm list -Linu


Thank you dear ... there are 2 love stories - the first story has Ali and Saba while the second has Chris and Anna ...

Originally posted by: AmyArTiMayUr

Another story Jaee😃😃 Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyy😃😃

Well im sure this one will be as AWESOME as the others 😃 The first part was interesting,,,😃

Waiting to read more😃


Thank you so much Amy ... I'll update soon ....

Originally posted by: SujaLuvsMayur

congrats of ur new ff.

interestng concept.
update soon.
thanks for the pm.


Originally posted by: -afsha-

One love stry had sad ending jus 10days ago

Another love stry strted
Waiting to c wats ahead
Continue soon


Thanks Suja and Afsha ... I am glad the interest is building ...

Originally posted by: DhanakZ

Nice ands interesting Dear

I could imagine My Mayur here
Thanks for Pm
cont soon and congrats


Originally posted by: Auroni.92

Loved the title jaee...😳
And an interesting one i must say...👏
Though they r fictional character i can imagine my Mayur in it but thinking in which couple i'll relate them...😆
Cont soon...


Originally posted by: samiralovemayur

1t congorats Jaee

lovely concept
1st chapter was simply awesome
but the story ill imagine my Mayur 😃
thnx 4 d pm


Well thank you so much guys and I would just say, think beyond Mayank and Nupur as these characters are a bit closer to reality and yet are quite surreal ... I am actually tired of writing on these sitcom characters - I love to write and somehow I started feeling bounded with these sitcom characters ... But, if you read and like the story with your favourite characters, I don't mind 😆

Originally posted by: shivangi278

hey jaee!!

loved the concept....really different and interesting...
plzzzzzzzz continue soon...😃


Originally posted by: mayur-ki-diwani

nice one


interesting

continue soon


Originally posted by: gopi06

Congrats jaee....loved ur concept,its very interesting..cont soon
thanks for the pm


Thank you so much guys, it feels great reading your comments ...

Originally posted by: -Sajjal-

Jaee, very interesting indeed.the two stories are such a contrast to each other but both so beautiful where one is in pain the other is just blossoming.

Loved it. Hope to read more soon.
Sajjal


Sajjal my dear, I am flattered - the writer who easily brings tears to my eyes, if can feel the emotions I am trying to convey through the story .. my half the work is done 😆 Thank you so much ... I am so glad you liked it ....

-SupriyaluvsMN- thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#45
awesum start jaee....
2 lovers seperated & 2 just meet!!
dis is interesting!
i'm luvin it...!
sariska_mnarti thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 14 years ago
#46
Hey jaee

just read d intro

loved it

cont soon
JaeeDevRathore thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#47
Zephyr

Mumbai, 20th August 1998

She was sitting in her classroom but her heart was wandering in the same moment when she fell in his brawny arms - she could still feel his touch over her skin and his breath over her face ... Physically though she was sitting amongst 40 other students but only she knew that she was stuck in the moment where the whole world got lost in fog and what remained was just the two of them ... His eyes didn't leave hers and without uttering a word; they had spoken volumes ....

Jannet noticed her friend lost in her dreamland and elbowed her back to the history lesson, "Are you mad? First day pe hi daant khaani hai kya, for God sake; concentrate you fool!!", she whispered as Anna lowered her eyes in embarrassment and nodded to what she had to say ... Anna started writing down her notes but it was not long when she lost herself in his eyes and his thoughts and gentle smile crept on her lips ...

He was sitting in the basketball court sketching for the nth time the beautiful eyes that had mesmerized his being ... Those gentle eyes and that beautiful smile had made his lose his senses and all he could do was, drown in her thoughts and smile like a silly lover boy ... Her hair were like a veil which he had softly blown away - that face was poet's dream an artist's muse and his desire .... That innocence was captivating and that blush just contributed in making him lose his senses ...

Daniel who by now was irritated seeing his friend in the shoes of Romeo, hit his head with the ball making him fall off the railing on the floor ... He rubbed his bottom in pain and frowned at his so-called best friend, "What the hell Daniel, do I look like a basket to you???" Daniel conveniently folded his arms and smirked, "No you look like a fool, what's wrong with you??" Chris shook his head and started collecting his sheets and slowly slipped back into his thoughts and again a smile broke on his face ....


She slowly scribbled his name on the table with a smile on her lips and slowly whispered his name, "Chris ..." She felt shy and hid her face in her hands ...

He wrote her name on all the sheets and looking at them just remembered the most beautiful moment of his life while her name came out as a sigh from his lips, "Anna ..."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Mumbai, 10th September 1998

His hands were tied on the wooden rod above, making him hang in the air while blood slowly trickled out of his lips and he couldn't open his eyes as he started feeling dizzy ... He had just been smacked continuously by the inspector still he could not feel any pain ... The physical wounds no more hurt him as the biggest wounds had torn apart his heart and soul - he had lost her ... All he wished was to end this life so he could be with her in a place where no one would try to separate them and they would live the life they always dreamed of ... Somewhere, he still could not believe that she was gone - his breath was attached to her and if she was gone - how was he still breathing?

"Saba, main jaanta hun ki tum chali gayi ho par phir kyun ye dhadkanein kehti hai ki tum ab bhi yahin ho, aur agar yahin ho, to laut aao apne Ali ke paas - wo tumhaare bina adhura hai ... ..." He sat on the floor with his hands on his knees and his eyes lost in that moment when he had met his angel, for the first time .....

Mumbai, 10th August 1997 - 10:30 PM

He was running behind a man with a gun in his hand and anger on his face ... He shot in the man's direction in order to stop him but the man raced forward ... He entered the empty local train compartment to catch him from another side ... Crossing the railway line, he entered another compartment and in a rush, banged into a girl ... She was about to scream when he closed her mouth with his hand and pinned her to the door of the local train ... The train started moving while she widened her eyes ... His intense blazing eyes were burning her but she no longer struggled to move out of his hold ... As the speed of the train increased, her hair came on her face breaking their eye lock ... He dropped his gun and slowly removed the hair from her face tracing his fingers softly on her jawline while her heartbeats increased ... Her palms were folded in fists holding his kurta as he continued staring in her eyes ... He frowned as she closed her eyes and fear crept on her face and suddenly light dawned on him ... He pulled himself back and picking up his gun, looked at her for the last time as she held her duppatta tightly in her hands and stared at him with fear while mumbling the name of the one above ... He rushed towards the other compartments and all she could hear after that was a gunshot and scream of a man ... She closed her ears in fear as tears rolled down her cheeks ... He walked back towards her only to see her tremble with fear ... He went near her and held her shoulders and made her look at him, her eyes were still filled with fear, "Daro mat, tumhe kuch nahi karunga ... aur iske baare mein kisi se kehna mat, samjhi?" She nodded her head while he shook his head and as the train slowed down, he got out of the compartment followed by her ....

New Delhi, 10th September 1998

She immediately opened her eyes and the tears rolled down her eyes as she remembered the night she had first met him ... Her tears had no end and her life had no meaning without his presence in it ... She had turned into a lifeless body without him - she was breathing but not living and day and night she prayed for her heart to stop beating as it felt betraying him - how was she alive when he was no more with her ...

"Humne hamesha saath rehne ka vaada kiya tha na, to tum kaise mujhe chhodkar chale gaye - mere paas laut aao ya mujhe apne paas bula lo kyunki Ali ke bina Saba kuch nahi hai - uska koi vajoot nahi hai ...."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~



Edited by -jaee- - 14 years ago
mulan. thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 14 years ago
#48
wow jaee!!!!!!!! ur a fabulous writer!!!!! 👏👏👏
i just read both the parts and i was smiling at the cuteness of daniel, anna, chris and thn suddenly ali and saba!!!!!! wow!!!!!! beautifully wirtten and i could feel a shiver whne it came to Saba's adn Ali's story... the last sentence was so heart wrenching!!! i loved the name of the story too and the way u gave a brief intro to the story and love in general!!!
looking forward to an amazing experience through this story!!! 😊
thanks for the pm and do continue soon!! 😊

P.S. i simply love ur signature!!!!!!!! 😳

Edited by mulan. - 14 years ago
crazymayurian thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#49
aw it's amzing i can feel it
-afsha- thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#50
Liked how one couple is strting to fall in love
N enjoying this newly found feeling
Felt bad for the other couple who was being separted by this society
Its hard to get ur true love

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