"Anu..." I picked her up and kissed her cheeks, fiercely. I was seeing her after an entire year. My Anu...Anita. Suddenly, I felt the weight of what I had done. I put her down. "I am so sorry, Anita, so, so sorry" Clutching the child to me, I started sobbing.
"What happened, Mumma?" she blinked, with her eyes as big as the characters in manga novels, and her long eyelashes emphasizing her innocent face even more.
"Nothing, nothing" I wiped my tears and held her hand, leading her inside.
"Thanks, Bhai!" I mumbled.
"Anything for you!" he bowed, with a sombre face.
"Overdramatic" Tina declared, "Anu?" she looked stunned to see her.
"Tina di!" Anita left my hand and ran to her 'di'. Tina kneeled down and wrapped her arms around Anita, "Anu! It really is you!"
I decided to leave my questions for later. Now it was the time to have fun, to enjoy. This trip had to be an enjoyable experience for my bhai.
"Come on, guys! Oh crap...Baji, we would need a baby seat for Anu. Have you forgotten everything about Australia while you were in India?"
"No, of course not, sis. I have already bought the seat."
"Thank god! I really don't wan't to go shopping at this time" I picked Anu up, "Now can we leave?"
"Yes"
Locking up the room, after grabbing his suitcase and duffel bag, Baji sauntered down to the lift. "How slow do you girls walk?"
"Mumma, I don't want to be carried, I want to walk!" Anu wailed
"Hurry up, Naku"
"Hold on!" Anu didn't wait a second, as soon as I loosened my hold on her, she jumped down and skipped her way to Baji. I ran after her, "Anita!"
She didn't reply, just tossed her teddy into my arms. Sticking her thumb into her mouth again, she started to press random buttons in the lift. "Anu! What are you doing? Stop it!" I cried. God, this child!
"I am trying to get this lift to go down" she replied calmly. I giggled at the way she was speaking, so serious, as if she was someone's grandmother.
"Ok, you have pressed enough buttons now, love. Come here"
"No! I wanna go to Nonna! I want my Nonna!"
"Who is Nonna?"
"My Nonna..." she looked confused and then said "grand-mre...grand mother"
"Wow, so my daughter knows three different languages, no?" I bent down so I could look at her face.
"No, she would only know a little bit of French. They mainly speak Italian there, but I told Nonna to teach her English" Tina said.
"So she is your Nonna too?" I hated the fact that Tina knew more about Anu than me, but I guess it was my own fault. I cursed myself silently and walked out of the lift.
"She is everyone's Nonna" Tina rolled her eyes and held Anu's hand just as she was about to run off. "Where are you going?" Tina gently scolded her.
"I want my Nonna" Anu started wailing.
"Oh hush! We will take you to your Nonna, don't you want to spend some time with your Mumma too?" I ruffled her hair and kissed her forehead, while looking over the top of her head at Tina, desperation and guilt evident in my eyes. Tina smiled reassuringly.
"Now you girls are crying!" Baji smirked, "What have I gotten myself into?" He lifted his hands in the air as if asking God for help.
"You stop your drama!" Tina replied curtly.
Anu started running ahead, so I raced after her, with Tina and Baji following as fast as they could without actually running.
_
"Wow, lil sis! You cook just as well as Ma" Baji licked his lips, reaching for the sauce.
"Thank you" I beamed. I hadn't cooked in a while and it felt good to receive compliments. Even though I considered myself as a modern girl of today, I still hadn't let go of my old-fashioned, womanly instincts to cook and look after the house, "Anu, did you like it?"
"Yes, can I please have some more?" The tantrums of earlier on the night seemed to have been forgotten, I noticed, she was on her best behaviour.
"Yes, sure" I passed the plate to Baji, who helped her serve herself.
"It is getting late, Anu. After you finish eating, come with me, I will tuck you in bed"
"Yes, Mumma"
Whoever she had been living with had been taking care of her well. She had good table manners, and her knowledge, the way she talked, was quite extensive for a three year old, as far as I could tell from our 'conversation' in the car.
She talked about the place she lived in, the vast gardens, the birds, the butterflies and about the choir that sung hymns early in the morning, that she longed to be a part of.
"Mumma, I finished!" her chair made a scraping noise against the floor as she hopped off, and placed the plate on the kitchen shelf.
"Good girl, now come upstairs. I will take you out to the gardens tomorrow, so you do want a decent sleep, don't you?"
"Yes!"
She smiled and pranced up the stairs, behind me.
"Will you tell me a story, Mumma?"
"Hmm, first brush your teeth." I opened Baji's duffel bag to take out Anu's belonging and started to arrange them in my wardrobe.
"Where is my toothbrush?"
"In that little bag, over there" I pointed towards the bag and continued folding her clothes.
She skipped to the bed and hopped on it, snuggling under the quilt. Why can't she walk anywhere without jumping, skipping or hopping around?
"Which story would you like to read?"
"Uhmmhhh" Anu mumbled something and her breath steadied, her chest rising and falling gently. I pushed away a few stray locks of her hair from her face and kissed her forehead. Poor thing, Baji had said that he had been travelling around Europe with her. She must be exhausted from all of the travelling.
Turning off the light, I shut the door as quietly as I could and turned around to go downstairs. Now I could get the answers to my questions.
Tina and Baji were talking in low, hushed voices, but they immediately stopped talking as soon as I appeared. Now what was up with that?
No sound could be heard except the clinking of knives and forks against the plates.
"Bhai?"
"Yeah?"
"How...? Where was Anu?"
"She was in a convent in Switzerland"
"How did you find her?"
"Tina told me to get her"
"Tina? But Tina didn't know that Anu was coming!"
"I did, but I am such a fabulous actress, am I not?" Tina grinned smugly.
"Tina! And Bhai...."
"Ask Tina. I don't know, I was merely Anita's caretaker for a few days, Tina would know what you want to know. I am tired, Good night"
"Good night" I rose out of my seat and hugged him. He grinned cheekily and winked at Tina, "Be ready for the cross-examination, hun"
"Whatever dude" Tina stuck her tongue out at him before turning to me., "Questions later, I have a date to go to tomorrow. And, I know you didn't go to Dutta's house today, don't think you can hide such things from me." she pointed the knife in her hand at my face, very close to my nose. I backed away, only to find myself pressed back onto the dining table, "Hey, hey Tweety!"
"So, tomorrow, 7 am sharp at Dutta's house, no excuses!"
"Yes, I understand. But please Tina I want to know!"
"I told you, later! I have to go on a date tomorrow"
"A date?"
"Yeah.." Seeing my inquiring face, she hastily said, "I have to go now, bye!", and raced off.
"Tina..." I went to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of wine, drinking it in hope to ward away any clouds of remorse and self-pity from my mind, and regretting that I was in a situation where I had to ask others about my own daughter.
_
"Sbrigati! Mumma, andiamo!"
"What did you say?"
"Arrgh! I said, huwwy up, let's go!"
"Okay! Hold on a second, dear."
I grabbed the bottle of milk from Izzy and shoved it into Anu's bag. "I am ready, let's go!"
Anu sat on her car seat and fixed her seatbelt. "Good girl!"
She beamed, feeling proud of herself, and stuck her thumb in her mouth. Making a mental note to go to the psychiatrist to find out a way to stop that awful habit, I clicked my tongue in disapproval and started the car.
"Where are we going today?"
"Not too far away, I have some work to do"
"Why can't I stay at home?"
"Because, your Mamu would want to rest, Tina di has work as well."
"If you are going to do work, then what will I do?"
"I will give you something to do. Now shush, I need to pay attention to the road while I am driving, no?"
"Yes, Mumma"
She looked curiously out of the window, squealing when she saw something that was worth her attention.
Even though she could be irritating, I love this rosy-cheeked child very much. Her curly hair falling on her face, bobbing up and down when she jumped around, her pale, almost porcelain like complexion, her teddy, which she had to carry everywhere, her tinkly laugh, which Tina said resembled mine, her amber eyes, I had fallen in love with everything about her since the first time I had seen her. I had vowed then that I would be the best mother, and any danger would have had to pass me before reaching Anita.
I parked the car, and took Anu out. She started skipping, and urged me to do so as well.
"Mumma, look this is how you skip" she tugged at my shirt until I looked at her and started skipping on the spot, "See? Now you do it as well"
Afraid that she would start bawling in the middle of the road, I skipped a little bit along with her and then said that I was too tired.
"Okay fine." We turned into the house's driveway, "Uhh Mumma are we going in there? Look it's got so many flowers!"
"Yes"
Dutta's house was infact very majestic. Small, different colours of hydrangea bushes lined a paver pathway to the main entrance of the house. The rest of the garden was quite big, but without any plants or decorations. Two pillars engraved with Hindu mythical creatures, made of carrara marble, stood on each side of the french doors. Anu tried to jump and reach the doorbell, but failed. She looked at me for help, even though I could see that she was reluctant. I smiled at her and picked her up so that she could press the button. I could see the stubbornness that I always had as a child, in her eyes. A man around his fifties, opened the door, "Good morning, madam. And you are..."
"Nakusha, the interior designer. Is Dutta at home?"
"Yes, sir is at home. Come inside!"
The interior of the house wasn't as magnificent or grand as the exterior. The walls were a dull white, the floor tiled in an equally disgusting paper marble, with barely any furniture except for a white leather sofa, with a coffee table in front and a plasma TV attached on to the wall opposite to the sofa. Dutta was sitting on the sofa, flipping through the pages of a magazine. He looked up at me, then at Anu.
"Hi Naku"
"Hello"
"Who is this?" he asked, gesturing at Anu.
"Anu, er.. my daughter"
......................................................................
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