FF: Life's a Rollercoaster-updated pt 17 pg 67 - Page 32

He looked up at me, then at Anu.

"Hi Naku"

"Hello"

"Who is this?" he asked, gesturing at Anu.

"Anu, er.. my daughter"

"You're married?"

"Uh..no" I was very well aware of the customs and I knew that what I was saying--a kid without marriage-- could cause a social suicide in India, but I didn't really give a damn if Dutta thought I was some wh***. 

"Oh, um.. Hi Anu!"

Anu looked up at me, then Dutta. I nodded, and she ran forward so that she could snatch the chocolate Dutta was now holding in his hands. "Thanks!" she mumbled, tearing the wrapper into bits. 

"Anu!" I laughed.

"Come on Anu, do you like to play with bubbles?" Dutta extended a hand towards her.

"Why do you have bubbles in your house?"

"I don't have bubbles, well not yet anyways, I only have a bubble gun!" He smirked.

"But why?"

"Oh. Well, I have little cousins in India, I can't lower my family's name by not sending them gifts from Australia, can I?"

"I get it! Family's reputation and all, you have to give gifts and stuff. Raj told me'" I bit my lip. Dutta looked at me curiously, "Uh.."

"Nothing. So where is the gun?" I tried to look enthusiastic, and grabbed Anu's hand, taking her to the back door, to the backyard.

"Gun? Nonna says they are bad. Ow. Mumma you are hurting me!" Anu tried to wriggle her wrist out of my hand. I released her. "Sorry, hon"

"Nakusha?" Dutta stepped onto the portico, holding a bubble gun, with My Little Pony characters all over it.

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah'"

"Mumma! Bubbles!" Anu took the bubble gun from Dutta, and pressed the trigger.

Rainbow-coloured bubbles flowed out of the nozzle, glittering under the sun. I ran forward and tried to pop them. Anu squealed, ad Dutta picked her up and twirled her round and round, causing the stream of bubbles to float into the air, in a circle. I squealed as well, as I popped each one, the bubbles leaving a tiny splatter of soapy water on my fingers.

(Dutta)

If the magazine had been kept in India for that long, with no one touching it, it would have a huge layer of dust on it. I picked it up, and gently brushed the cover with the back of my hand, even though it didn't have even a speck of dust on it.

I sighed, settling down onto the sofa, flicking through the pages without really reading. I missed India. I missed the fun. I missed the noise. I kind of missed Perth too. Sydney wasn't a lot different to Perth, just new people, different places, but it seemed like just another town of it that I had failed to go to. Or maybe I had forgotten about what it looked like, and Perth and Sydney were merging into one, in my mind. I had moved from Perth to India last year. I got a whole year to spend with my Ayi Saheb, a whole year's worth of nights to sleep in her lap. The worst thing about Sydney was not having her here, but that problem would be solved in a week. 

Terrence, the butler, informed me that an interior designer was at the door. Interior designer? Nakusha! She came inside, holding the hand of a toddler, who looked like a little doll, you know, those little porcelain ones, the kind that doll collectors buy for millions of dollars?

"Hi Naku" I said

"Hello"

"Who is this?" I asked, looking at the little girl.

"Anu, er.. My daughter" I tried to hide my astonishment. How could she'?

"You're married?"

"Uh..no" I didn't know if that was good or bad. I didn't think she would be so, um, modern, to put it in better words. I looked at Anu, and dug my hand in my pocket for the mars bar I had put in there earlier.

"Oh, um.. Hi Anu!" I smiled.

Anu looked at Naku, as if asking for permission, and then glanced back at me. Naku nodded, and she came to me, so she could snatch the chocolate and eat it. She reminded me of my sister, Roops, when she was younger. "Anu!" Naku laughed. I beamed too, but from the inside. Roops was married, to some businessman in England. She often moaned about her weight, her diet, about how much she would love to eat chocolate but the fat free ones were disgusting.

"Come on Anu, do you like to play with bubbles?" I extended my hand, an invitation.

"Why do you have bubbles in your house?" Naku asked.

"I don't have bubbles, well not yet anyways, I only have a bubble gun!"

"But why?"

"Oh. Well, I have little cousins in India, I can't lower my family's name by not sending them gifts from Australia, can I?"

"I get it! Family's reputation and all, you have to give gifts and stuff. Raj told me'" She bit her lip. Raj? Now who was he? "Uh.."

"Nothing. So where is the gun?" She had this fake cheerful smile stuck on her face, as if someone ws holding the edges of her mouth and stretching it. Basically she looked as idiotic as an angel could look. She took Anu, and went out to the backyard.  Terrence gave me the buble gun, the pink one with weird little ponies on it, and I stepped into the portico.

"Nakusha"

 "Yeah?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah'"

"Mumma! Bubbles!" Anu took the bubble gun from me, and pressed the trigger.

Bubbles came out, and Naku rushed to pop them. I picked Anu up, and swung her around, so that the bubbles would go everywhere. Naku squealed like a student excited for her graduation, and ran, her arms swinging around as the bubbles went pop. She looked so beautiful. Her hair was blowing away, the tips gently hitting my face. I took the gun from Anu, and blew some more bubbles. I watched both of them running, squealing, flinging their arms around, bending down, jumping up, reaching as many bubbles as they could. Naku's cheeks were flushed, a rosy pink colouring her chubby cheeks. I pressed the trigger once more, to release another round of bubbles. She turned around, facing me. A bubble came between us, and in the background I could hear Anu singing, "Biiiiigg bubble! Big, big, big bubble!"  I reached forward, popping the bubble, and lightly brushing the tip of my index finger against her nose. She shivered and moved back, touching her nose. I looked at my finger. The tingle that I had gotten from touching her, that feeling was still there, on my finger. I had no idea what had just happened.

Naku tried to smile, and then giggled, "Pull the trigger again, Dutta!"

"What..?" I tried to comprehend what she said; my brain was reacting slower than my ears.

"I said..."

"Yes. I..." I did what she'd asked me to do.

"Mumma, me tired!" Anu pouted.

"Shh" Naku said, even though Anu wasn't making a noise anymore, "Fine, you go sit inside, Mumma has to do work."

 Anu scampered into the house, leaving us alone.

"Nakusha..."

"Dutta, I am sorry. I disturbed you by bringing Anu, she makes such a racket"

Why was she being so hostile, again? I felt like stamping my foot on the grass, hard enough that Terrence, who also maintained the garden, would scold me.

"Don't worry. She's a sweetheart."

"Can I'" She went inside the house and got her bag, "'Have a look around the house?"

"Sure. I'll look after Anu"

"Oh. You don't have to'" She looked down at her feet

"No, I want to."

"Ok" She turned around, swung her bag over her shoulder, and walked into the house.

(Naku)

 I lost myself; became a kid again. Chasing Anu, popping bubbles; that was all that was in my mind. I forgot all causes for worry, tension, stress. I was happy, even though it only lasted a few minutes. Dutta was watching us, his head slightly jerked to the side, the bottom of his shirt blowing in the wind to reveal a small patch of skin.

I went to the bubbles near him, and popped one. I turned around, so I could see his face, but a bubble came in front of my eye. I felt his finger brushing my nose; I closed my eyes. My nose got zapped, like when I used to be a kid, coming down a slide, and touching the  graffiti on the dirty plastic of the underside of it, but this was different. The zap on that slide made me feel like pulling back my hand, but this one, I wanted to keep forever. I shivered, pulled myself back, trie to stop the current of thoughts. I smiled, and then giggled; both fake. I told him to pull the trigger, but he didn't hear me. I was going to repeat it, but he pulled it, when Anu announced that she was tired. I shushed her for some reason, even though I knew she was silent. "Fine, you go sit inside, Mumma has to do work." I told her

Anu went into the house, and I was about to follow her, but Dutta spoke.

"Nakusha.." I didn't feel like talking to him. In fact I didn't feel like talking to anyone. I chose to be formal, hoping that he'd get the hint and be to the point, not babble on.

"Dutta, I am sorry. I disturbed you by bringing Anu, she makes such a racket"

His fingers twitched; he curled his hand into a tight fist as he said, "Don't worry. She's a sweetheart." He had this annoyed expression, and he was trying to hide it, but couldn't.

"Can I'" I walked as fast as I could into the house, and got my bag. Hanging it around my wrist, I stood in front of the door, "'Have a look around the house?"

"Sure. I'll look after Anu"

"Oh. You don't have to'" I looked down.

"No, I want to."

"Ok" I went back into the house, swinging the bag over my shoulder.

I inspected the whole house; the marble stairs, each room, most of which were empty, and the ones that weren't had a few flimsy pieces of furniture: An old wooden bed, an antique, I guess, but it looked ugly; A round wooden table with a few matching chairs; a room filled with boxes and cartons; paintings of old Indian kings and queens; a study table with a black swivel chair, and photos of Dutta with a woman in about her mid-20s, and an old lady, probably his Ayi Saheb.  I went back downstairs; Anu was sleeping on the sofa, holding a cushion tightly to herself, her thumb stuck into her mouth, letting soft sighs escape her mouth every few seconds. I sat next to Dutta on another sofa, soundlessly.

"You done?" he asked

"Yes"

"Anything else?"

"I will come tomorrow, I guess. You have 24 hours to decide whatever you want, and then tomorrow we will see what I can do"

"I want a hall of mirrors"

"What?"

"Yes" he nodded, "A hall of mirrors. Have you ever been to Versailles?"

"No, but I have seen photos"

"Do you know.."

"Yes I know what you mean by hall of mirrors!" I cried exasperatedly.

"Then why are you asking?"

"Why would you want that in your house? Firstly, it will be expensive; secondly, That idea is plain ridiculous"

"Why?"

"Oh God!" I struck my palm to my forehead, "Who has a hall of mirrors in their house? No one!"

"I will'"

"But why?"

"Why not? Nakusha, it's my house. I decide."

"Okay. Fine. Whatever." I was about to get up, but he held my hand. "What?"

"Nothing. Hold on. I will ask Terrence to bring some coffee, unless you would like something else..?"

"No! It's fine. I don't want anything"

"Please, do."

"Hmm. Just juice, then."

"Did you know that Just Juice was a brand of juice? But I've never really liked their juice. I prefer Berri."

"I know. I think I've been living her longer than you, thank you very much. Give me whatever juice you have in here."

He chuckled, then sauntered away, calling out to Terrence. I eyed some pamphlets which were on the coffee table. I picked them up, looking at each one. Poverty, World Vision, Amnesty International, Domestic Violence Helpline, Kids Helpline, Child Abuse'I put the other pamphlets back and stared at the one labelled Stop Child Abuse! I opened the folds, so it was one big piece of paper. There was information: helplines, what to do, help centres, psychologists, etc. I felt the sofa sag slightly under the weight of Dutta.

"Here's your juice. Apple Mango. Is that okay?"

"Hmm? Hmm." I took the glass from his hands and put it on the table, turning my attention back to the pamphlet.

"Naku? Can I ask you a question?"

"Yes?"

"Is Anu your real daughter?" I jerked my head up and stared at him.

"Of course she is" I muttered.

"Is she'? Did you give birth to her Anu?"

"Why are you asking all this?"

"I don't know'