THE INDIAN WOMEN - Page 2

Every alternate line you're reiterating how much you're loving it in India and every other line you're saying what all you feel are wrong. I don't know how exactly you're loving it here when you're finding something wrong in everything.

Yes, not everything is good over here, but has it occured to you that maybe some of the things that you think are odd are actually just a product of cultural difference. India is India, it's not east Europe or west Europe or USA. If you expect to find everything like it is over there, then ofcourse you will be disappointed.

Yes, families over here are bit more protective than in west. But what is wrong with that unless that protection becomes overbearing and domineering? Excessive of anything is bad. Having overbearing parents can be as much of a problem as parents who grant so much freedom to their child that almost forget about them.

If women over here behave differently than men, then I think that's natural. If there is a country where men and women behave similarly, then that'll be odd for me. If most of the women in India were backstabbers and home wreckers, then I'd have said that yes there is a problem. But if that is not so, if they simply have some different choices than the men over here have, what's wrong with that? Maybe, they didn't feel comfortable enough to open up to you. You as a standalone person in a new country can't become the parameter by which to judge people's attitude.

You see many people over here who seem to be weak and malnourished. Well, that's because there are considerably more malnourished people over here than in Europe. I don't think that's very shocking, undesirable yes but not unexpected.
Also, I've heard that a large population of Indian women are anaemic and it's not always because they are poor and don't have enough to eat but because of various other reason. Maybe, a doctor can confirm this as they'll have better knowledge about the causes about such issues.

You felt that the daughter-in-law of the house, where you went for dinner, was being made to work too much. Maybe it's so or maybe it was a cook working inside the kitchen and she was only supervising, because that's usually how it is in most well to do families nowadays.

Lastly, that bit about people worshipping godesses but you feeling that it doesn't make any difference to the life of average women. I don't understand what exactly you were expecting here.

@souro: If you did not understand already anything that I wrote then I think you will not be able to in my future posts either. I dont know why you think I find something wrong in everything? My only thought that I have expressed here is the condition of the Indian female. India does have its hospitality, diverse costumes, landscapes, nature and food which ofcourse is worth alot of fondness. The first think you must realise is that this is something about women and a feeling of their helplessness from the perspective of another woman.

Dear TM,

I know this is a little late, but hopefully better than never. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us.

Firstly in response to an Indian woman's inferior feelings of beauty in terms of the lightness of her skin. Every society, nation and country in every decade, era and time has propagated an 'ideal' image for a woman to live up to, whether through art, politics or culture. Even today there is no area upon this world where you would not find it so, it does not belong wholly to India.

However in those very same groups you will find people, men and women alike who fight such ill intended 'models.' (No pun intended😳) A few people who understand that inner light brings radiance and lack thereof will only corrupt and bring rust to an outward form, no matter how 'shiny and bright!'

Secondly in response to woman's position in general in Indian society, you can not blame a whole nation, culture and religion upon the actions of the corrupt EVEN IF they are NOT few but many. For example in terms of Football where hooliganism runs rampant, you could argue that it MUST instill a certain behaviour to affect fans so. However you would be wrong. You can not blame the game only those who cause mischief in its name.

The proof of my argument are the exceptions. Even if there is ONE exception then the source, the means can not be as you say. Of course there are women in India who are oppressed through their looks, by the families and society's regard BUT there are many women who are successful and given respect without apparent beauty, loved and honoured by their families and revered by peers and strangers alike. Those few make false your findings, for if it were the effect of the cause of this land, its people, its culture and practices THEN ALL women would be such!

The blame lies in specific cases NOT the general. Even if they outnumber them 100 to 1.

I live in England, Europe and I find it weird, strange almost cruel the way MANY people abandon their parents in their old age. I love the fact that in most Asian cultures parents, especially mothers, remain a part of the family for as long as they take breath. I could say that European culture makes people selfish and cold, shirking their responsibilities BUT I can not for those people who look after their parents truly exceptionally. They may be few but they exist!

Finally, I understand that it must have been a culture shock in some aspects but even though you may not be able to accept or understand certain Indian/Asian temperaments and viewpoints that you may be able to appreciate that they are nonetheless valid even though different.

That a woman who surrenders and submits herself to the role of a mother and wife is as strong as she is beautiful.

Love Sabah

Originally posted by: souro

I don't need your psychoanalysis of my mind. Let's see some concrete points. You're sitting on another end of a computer, you don't know me and I don't know you and no, I don't feel threatened by you either. I know that India needs to advance much more and yes that includes condition of women too. But giving a specific case of a woman who had to cook all by herself for all guests without any help from anyone does not prove anything, cos as I said that one woman does not depict the true prevalent scenario.

In any case I'll just say that I think only two things are needed as the first step by the women or rather by the whole population.
1. Those who are educated, should work
2. Those who are not educated, should get educated and then work

Yes education is important.

I think the image of the stereotypical Indian woman is changing as time progresses and changes. Also, as people (including women) are getting more educated and traveling out of their homes more, the image of an Indian woman is changing.