THE INDIAN WOMEN

Originally posted by: Polki_Zofi

I have wondered about India since the first time I saw an indian person in my city back home. I think of the indian woman as a girl in saree, with many ornaments, cloth on her head, round red circle on her forehead (which i later understood was a vermilion color sought of). But her image had been different than the Indian man, as I have met alot more indian men than women. But ofcourse gradually i have found more info basically after my visit in india.

What I still wonder is the level of pressure that the indian woman have to suffer though in life, mainly about their "color" and their appearance. I love the indian woman, let me make this clear first, and I think they are so beautiful in their own way. However, it seems that the importance of becoming fair complexioned and knowing all saintly or even more qualities are much more intense for the indian girl in comparison to the west or even east europe!

Now I am not talking about the financially effluent delhi or mumbai girl, or the women who settled in Europe or in Americas (who probably have a better life, due to which they came to our places which i understand) but the indian woman of basic average background and outside the two bigger cities.

If I am wrong i regret it , but believe you me that the perspective is just so obviously shaped by whatever comes on screen and on ground as i know more and more about india.

Why is the women so guarded here? Infact in Europe, as any one and you will know (atleast in my country) that the Indian woman and the Indian man is very different in every term and in most contexts. With the indian women being in the suffering side usually.

Last line, about women on the suffering side. Yes, it was so. It started changing in the last 50 years or so and is still changing. In urban areas most women now know their rights and are not afraid of asserting it. In rural areas however, there is still need for much more improvement. For rural upper class, it's still their honour which matters more than the happiness of their daughter and as such they refuse to bring her home even if she faces abuse at her in-laws, as that's supposed to lower their honour. For rural lower class, it's the knowledge of their rights and how they can stand up against exploitation in general or involving their women folk.

Indian women are fine examples of - survivors.

I personally find people in India still badly rigid, which results in evolving a regular girl into an Indian woman, for she's put through test every now and then. I feel guarding women is highly stereotypical. The reason to this is the same though, stuck mindsets of people.

Indian women come across as two different groups. So, if you'll find housemakers here who according to me waste their lives, you'd also find career oriented women who make most out of every opportunity they're offered. But you see - the basic characterstics in every woman are similar here. Responsible, affectionate and exceptionally strong - both mentally and emotionally. A woman provides her family with emotional support and is perhaps the only reason why a family, whether huge or small is woven together perfectly.

And I agree - Indian people overseas are evidently different. My aunts who live in the US not only have adapted a different life style, they are married in much more liberal familes. And the best thing - they make ideal mothers and desicion makers.

Women are women, with same characterstics everywhere however there are obvious differences between the mindsets of women who come from bakwarded families and the ones who come from a liberal one. My mother wouldn't understand my viewpoint like my aunt would, or my counselor does - she's got a rigid mindset too with no fault for her own. She makes a great mother, and she's a fighter - reasons enough for me to consider her as one of the most respectable elders around. Maa!

-Kankshita

@Suoro:

Originally posted by: Polki_Zofi

@Kanky: About a woman being a "housemaker", I personally think that it is the best thing and the most prestigeous thing for a woman. This is something which lacks among many societies of my continent which I have always valued and is increasingly being valued by many in the west and rest of europe. But being an opinionless undignified submissive servant is not what is meant by being a "housemaker". Even the world "homemaker/housemaker" is so beautiful and promising 😊. It is a great career in itself I feel, as a career option (in strict business terms) it does have many benefits, ofcourse if well balanced.

Being respectful in one thing, and being left alone as a submissive obey'er of a family is so different. I have come to know that it is a part of the Indian cultural system, while ofcourse in the villages and small towns it is more difficult. If that is so, I just wonder what it can be like in there.

Housemaker sounds beautiful, I agree. But I don't personally feel it benefits the woman herself in anyway. With time, the woman just grows immune to the hurt of being jobless. Of course, taking care of the household and grooming up children are great jobs in themselves. However, I perceive this to be one kind of emotional satisfaction that a woman gets. No mental satisfaction, no feeling of being special. When before her life ends and she has all the chapters of her life open next to her eyes, she might realize she could have done something for herself too. Beyond her family and kids. Maybe she was capable enough of doing much more than the household chores. I, being a very opinionated and ambitious teenager fail to find anything prestigious in being a housmaker, because a majority of people for whom a Woman does all the work at all consider it ordinary. The work of a housemaker is very rarely acknowledged, neither her man nor her children ever acknowledge the contribution of that Indian woman in their own wellbeing. And this is one more aspect of the Indian society, that you need to know. I may sound cynical, cynical enough to bug you up - but this is what I see all around me.

@Kanky: All women are supposed to decide for themselves. Happy to learn that you are an opinionated and ambitious (?) teenager. You have your own dreams, and that is just so wonderful. But dont you think that it is equally agressive to discount or ignore anything positive about the concept of "homemakers"?

Yes, I live in India and well - I do not discount the job a homemaker does but I only voice my opinion about what being one actually means here in India. According to me, every woman is a homemaker and every young lady has some part to contribute in the wellbeing of her family. Women are still not treated as equals, hence - just about everything they do seems oridinary. Be it the food she cooks or her driving skills - the man has every reason under the sun to criticize her. People including my family tell me that I am the precise opposite of the image everybody has in mind with regard to the Indian Young Lady. And honestly - I don't get a thing out of the lifestyle people lead here, and the kind of position a woman upholds in the family. I don't belong here and that's another reason why you'd find my cynical enough all the way.

Reckless kids and irresponsible husbands don't seem so at first. When you look closer, you realize that the man as well as the woman have spent there lives together without much affection, without the stability required and totally deprived of the true aspects of a married life. The definition of a good wife/housemaker is this: The man has married her legally, she's giving birth to his children, bringing them up, cooking food and looking after his aged parents. And that is all - the woman at all is deprived of all the love she'd dreamt of as a girl to experience after she got married. Love here again is something off topic - for in Indian marriages, I find more of the Nibhaao factor and less of any sort of affection. People actually spend all their lives - LIKE this. Without even trying to figure out if the person's actually the one for them.

By the way what is "Nibhaao" 😆, I know Hindi but very very less, and so very new in India at the moment that I am yet to learn enough Hindi to atleast understand the other person 🤔, but i will 😊

Yes there is bride burnig etc in India but such practises are on the decline. Throught education there has been much steps taken to liberalise women.

In Christianity/Europe aswell we have a great place for Mother Mary, as well as we have great souls like Mother Teressa who came to the rescue of so many children in need all the way from the benefits of being in her native land.