Can a tangled web of lies keep a family together?

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Posted: 15 years ago
#1
Watching yesterday's episode gave me a lot of pause for thought. We all lie upon occasion, for self-preservation or out of guilt, fear, shame or stubbornness. Sometimes we even lie to spare a loved one their feelings. But do these lies, these "white" lies, really help in the long run? Are we deluding ourselves that by lying to save something in the today, we are ultimately damaging something for the tomorrow?? Bauji tells Devyani that, on the one hand, her lies have held the family together like a fist - tight and strong, at least on the outside. But on the other hand, each lie that she has told or kept has weakened the heart of that hand and made it hollow. Like the worm inside the apple, the fruit looks rosy and healthy from the outside but is rotten from the inside.

Is it more important to preserve the truth or the illusion of it? Devyani's outburst yesterday brought from me, for the first time, some sympathy for her. In the past I have seen her denying every truth that comes in front of her eyes - Uttara's marital abuse, whatever Gaurav's deal is, and her own problems with the SSP. For the first time, I felt for her when she told Bauji that she had no choice but to lie to Priya (and everyone else) about SSP and their family. What could she say to her children about their dad? What good would it do? But it seems to be that this is a problem of her own making. Sir Walter Scott said "What a tangled web we weave, when first we practise to deceive", and this is particularly apt here. Every lie that Devyani has preserved or told is like a piece of string, and each string has become so incongruously tangled that she cannot even begin to tell them apart. If she had told the truth from the beginning, perhaps their family would not have survived. But maybe it would have been better in the long run?

Now it seems there is no way out. Devyani has constructed a chakravyuh so tight, it is even more impenetrable than the one that Abhimanyu faced in the Mahabharata.

Bauji's foreshadowing that "what happens if you get a bahu who is strong and smart like you but who also tells the truth", is, of course, obviously related to Priya - a fact that Devyani is again refusing to believe. We all know exactly what will happen once Priya comes into the family, and sees SSP. But it makes you wonder whether her stand - that of telling the truth and destroying the family - will be better or more justified than Devyani's desperate bid to keep the family together. Who is right and who is wrong in this situation? Devyani does not lie out of malice or ulterior motives for self-gain: she lies because she has no choice, because she wants to keep her family together. So should Priya, as an incoming bahu, meld into that role and take up Devyani's mantle? Should she, as a member of that family, preserve the lies, the fiction? What right does she have to come in and destroy years of hard work?

On the other hand, Priya is not wrong either. She has suffered at the hands of this man, and at the hands of everyone else in "society", for simply telling the truth. If she had not told anyone about the molestation, if she had lied, she would not have faced such adversities. But isn't it cowardly, demeaning to our own self, to lie about something like that? If its a crime to do evil, surely its a crime to lie about it as well? Is Devyani then a criminal?

Where do you draw the line? In real life, people lie all the time. Yet we are told that the truth will always out, sooner or later. Isn't it better to face the consequences from the beginning than to lie about it and face double the storm? What do you think? Can the lies that a family keeps really keep them together, or does that just make them a hollow shell, an illusion of the real thing? Is it fair that Priya will come in and unravel the string and break the fist that Devyani has worked so hard to keep closed, or have Devyani's actions themselves created the mess, the despair, the mockery of a family she wants to keep alive??

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-sunlight- thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#2
👏👏👏

Brilliant post, OP! Whenever I watch the show, Devyani is always trying to cover something up, like that time when Uttara told her outright that Rishabh domestically abuses her - and every single time I watched it, I always wondered what had driven Devyani to conceal the already evident truths in front of her, what had driven her to turn a blind eye to everything that went wrong.. Reading your post gave me a fantastic insight into Devyani's mind and feelings - so for that, I thank you! 👏

Now when it comes to Priya, I feel that Priya will be the epitome of truth in the Jhaakar household, whether Devyani likes it or not! Priya is evidently a very strong character, beneath her withdrawn and frightened exterior - when she met Aditya, he re-awakened her sense of truth and justice! She will not stand to let her culprit get away with what he did to her - he did ruin her life and slander her family's name just because she refused to become his pawn. Initially, I think she will be worried, scared and frightened to tell everyone about Bharamanand, but I think her inner strength will shine through and give her the courage to show everyone the ugly truths about their father and family.. Doing injustice to someone is wrong, but to sit back and take it is even worse..
Posted: 15 years ago
#3
Beautifully written!!
At this point it is very difficult to say if Devyani had no choice at all or was it the only option she could think of - lying to keep the family together. Once we come to know the secrets that she holds on her heart, it would be clear to judge her decisions. I personally feel that she resorted to lying as she wasn't strong enough to face the truth!! Lying is like in her blood now, there was no need for her to lie abr Gaurav's call to vidya. The lies just creates an illusion, an illusion which will break when the truth comes out!
Had she told the truth early on, the damage would be far less compared to knowing it now. Priya would be the 1st person to unleash the first dark secret of SSP and with this his darker side will be exposed whish will be too to digest for her children esp Aditiya and Sweety!! Aditiya will be torn between his father who he look up to and his love who he loves dearly!
I believe Priya should break away the web of lies that Devyani has built for years as it only making her weaker and weaker.
cheers
Kai
psawyer thumbnail
20th Anniversary Thumbnail Stunner Thumbnail + 4
Posted: 15 years ago
#4

Originally posted by: -sunlight-

👏👏👏


Brilliant post, OP! Whenever I watch the show, Devyani is always trying to cover something up, like that time when Uttara told her outright that Rishabh domestically abuses her - and every single time I watched it, I always wondered what had driven Devyani to conceal the already evident truths in front of her, what had driven her to turn a blind eye to everything that went wrong.. Reading your post gave me a fantastic insight into Devyani's mind and feelings - so for that, I thank you! 👏

Now when it comes to Priya, I feel that Priya will be the epitome of truth in the Jhaakar household, whether Devyani likes it or not! Priya is evidently a very strong character, beneath her withdrawn and frightened exterior - when she met Aditya, he re-awakened her sense of truth and justice! She will not stand to let her culprit get away with what he did to her - he did ruin her life and slander her family's name just because she refused to become his pawn. Initially, I think she will be worried, scared and frightened to tell everyone about Bharamanand, but I think her inner strength will shine through and give her the courage to show everyone the ugly truths about their father and family.. Doing injustice to someone is wrong, but to sit back and take it is even worse..


Thanks! I agree with your analysis as well, esp. the part in bold. It's somewhat ironic that Aditya is the one who will, or has, provided Priya with the courage and tools to tell the truth. His support of her would encourage her to remain strong and fight against all the injustice, even if Devyani stands in her way. And I think that maybe even Uttara would stand by her side - even though she idolises her brother-in-law, Uttara has a different moral compass to Devyani and seems to be the more hot-headed one as well.

Originally posted by: Kai_Hiwatari

Beautifully written!!

At this point it is very difficult to say if Devyani had no choice at all or was it the only option she could think of - lying to keep the family together. Once we come to know the secrets that she holds on her heart, it would be clear to judge her decisions. I personally feel that she resorted to lying as she wasn't strong enough to face the truth!! Lying is like in her blood now, there was no need for her to lie abr Gaurav's call to vidya. The lies just creates an illusion, an illusion which will break when the truth comes out!
Had she told the truth early on, the damage would be far less compared to knowing it now. Priya would be the 1st person to unleash the first dark secret of SSP and with this his darker side will be exposed whish will be too to digest for her children esp Aditiya and Sweety!! Aditiya will be torn between his father who he look up to and his love who he loves dearly!
I believe Priya should break away the web of lies that Devyani has built for years as it only making her weaker and weaker.
cheers
Kai


Thanks. You are right. The lie about Gaurav was unnecessary, but it seems as if she has gotten into the habit.

I feel bad for Aditya - in fact, all the children. Devyani's lies have affected Gaurav, Vidya, Aditya and Priya the most. Sweety is too young for it to have an impact, and it is in SSP's interest that Devyani continues lying. But for Gaurav and Vidya, her lies have destroyed three lives. If, indeed, Gaurav is gay, as I suspect, then there's no hope for poor Vidya. She is just a foil to show the world that Devyani's son is "normal", and through no fault of her own she will be stuck with a man who cannot love her, and will never be able to love her. For Gaurav, he has to live with the dual guilt of leaving his lover behind and of not being able to love poor Vidya. If he is gay, it is with the knowledge that he will never be able to come out, at least in front of his father, and be his true self. He will always live the dual life that so many gay men are forced to live because of their parents meddling.

Priya was told so many lies by Devyani - that her husband is a wonderful man, that she is proud to be a policeman's wife, that Priya will never have a bad experience in that house. For someone who has been through what she has, being able to trust people is a huge step. The only reason she trusts Aditya is because he has proved that he will always protect her, and because she believes he knows the truth about her. She also has no mother and (not knowing how old she was when her mother died), Devyani is the closest maternal influence in her life. To trust a person like that, and to find out when you leave your home and go into hers that she has completely and utterly deceived you...that kind of thing can break a person.

And then Aditya - he idolises his parents, especially his father. He wants to enter politics because he is proud to be his father's son, and thinks that like his dad, he can make a difference to the world. When he finds out that not only has his father molested Priya, but probably has a mistress or three as well, that will shatter his respect for him. Add to that the fact that his mother knew all along and lied about it all...poor guy, his world will be destroyed.

Is the lie worth it, if it means destroying so many lives in one shot?

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