chapter-----1
aankhen...................
it was midnight.. adarsh slowly got up frm his bed and crept towards the cupboard. he took the diary out and stared at it,numerous thots growing inside him-----aisi kya wajah thi...jo pratigya ne ye kadam uthayi? kyu pratigya... ?
he opened the frst page of the diary wich had her name on it.. without wasting another second he turned it over and started reading it.................
****** aaj se kuch bais saal pehle mere papa ne bht pyaar se ye naam rakha tha mera----Pratigya.. bht sari umeedein jode the unhone is naam ke saath....woh hamesha se chahte the ki unki ek beti ho,ek beti jo unke bete jaisa ho...ek aisi beti jo samaaj ke saamne unka sar fakar se uncha kar de... ek aisi beti jo is samaaj ke sare auraton ki prerna bane....unke umeed ki woh kiran,woh beti main hi hun...pratigya.......
lekin papa ko ye nhi pata tha..ki unki kismat mein sunehre sapne to likhe hain..lekin un sapno ke pure hone ka ehsaas nhi.... aaj unki wohi beti ne unka sar sharm se jhuka diya hain..... aaj usi beti ke liye unhe aur unke parivaar ko samaaj ka samna karna mushkil ho gaya hain.... kyunki aaj unki wohi beti.... katgade mein khadi hain....aur apne maut ke liye bhik mang rahi hain........... ek aisa gunaah karne ke liye...jise woh gunaah to kya apni galti bhi nhi manti.... main sabke saamne ye swikar karne ke liye razi hun ki haan maine ye kiya hain.....lekin jajsab maine koi gunaah nhi kiya hain......ye haq tha mera....mera haq...jo usine mujhko diya tha......usi insaan ne jiska naam lete hue aaj bhi mera rom rom kap uthta hain.....mere dil mein tufan aa jata hain..... jee karta hain ke bas khatam kar dun sabkuch ek hi pal mein......... lekin nhi....main aisa nhi karungi...abhi nhi...... mujhe pehle sabko batana hain..ki maine ye kyun kiya? aisi ka wajah thi ki maine woh kadam uthayi jo aaplogo ki nazar mein ek gunaah hain...EK GUNAAH........
mujhe aaj bhi woh din yaad hain jab main usse pehli baar mili thi....... us shor mein....ek khoya hua,hara hus insaan....jo apne aap ko nashe mein dubakar zindagi ki kadwi haqeeqat se muh mod liya tha................******************
flashback :-------
it was a saturday night.. the disco ball was rolling brightly and the music was enough to make evryone deaf.... pratigya's bst frnd rolli whu was also the receptionist of Mahek nursing home where pratigya herself was in the profession of a nurse,had thrown a party to celebrate her brthday wich used to come once in evry four years,i.e. on the 29th of february.... rohli had been saving frm her income for this grand party so that nothing is missed,music,drinks,dance,cakes and evrythng was perfect... all the arrnagements were made by rohli and pratigya whu was also pretty excited abt it.. she and rohli were frnds frm the school days and that decided that they wud always be together... so wen pratigya became a nurse,rohli took her job in her same nursing home so that they cud work together... it was crazy,they knew.. bt they had such a bonding with each other that they cudnt stay a moment without seeing each others face...
sometimes pratigya used to say-------rohli...kaash main ladka hota...to hum sachmuch shaadi kar lete......
rohli used to laugh at her comment and say-------nhi...ye galat faimi mein mat rehna ki tab main tujhse shaadi karti..are yaar mujhe tujhse accha aur zyaada handsum jeevan saathi chahiye.....
the time used to just fly away wen they were together.....
rohli had invited quite a lot of frnds in that party.... all were busy dancing and having fun wen pratigya walked towards the counter to prepare the brthday cake...... she tripped and collided with silly,dancing people on her way more than once. she became irritated and shouted------- kya yar..dikhta nhi hain kya...?
of course her voice cudnt be heard above the loud music and she felt herself pushed more... suddenly she saw a vry tall and fat figure of a man stepping backwards towards her... she became alarmed to see his size.. he was so engrossed in dancing that he did nt realise that he was moving backwards.. to save herself frm getting sandwitched by the man,she swiftly moved top her right,tripped over someone's feet and was abt to fall down on the ground... she closed her eyes and groped for some support to prevent herself frm falling down and luckily got it.. she held on to it tightly and got up.. then she opened her eyes and froze...
she saw a pair of deep brown eyes staring at her...the eyes had some kind of power in them,she cudnt look away...it seemed that she had lost herself in those eyes... her eternal trance broke by a voice,a deep hoarse one.. she realised that the owner of the voice was the same person whu possessed those eyes........
" lady,if u r expecting an apology then u better leave,coz its u whu pounded on me and spilled my drink "
pratigya got back her senses------oh!!! no,i mean i know its I...an.....I'M sorry.....
" gud for u "------the man returned to his drink...
pratigya kept standing there..watching him.. she had nvr seen such eyes.... she felt deeply attracted to them....
"arent u finished off yet? "-----the man bluttered out roughly....
pratigya felt as if she had been caught stealing---- uh..no..i mean..yes...
the man-----then wat r u standing here for? u wanna drink?
he held out his glass...and smirked.. the smell was bad... she hated hard drinks... though a grl of 21,living in mumbai,she cud nvr get herself used to the so-called mordern ways of drinking, wearing short skirts,flirting with boys,so on and so forth...it was out of her lines.. evn today she was dressed somewat oddly... in a tight three quarters and a loose blue satin shirt over it.... whereas all her frnds were wearing off-shoulders and minis.....
she said politely----thnks...i dont drink....
a humourous as well as mocking smile spread out across his face... his voice sounded sarcastic-----oho...then watr u doing here....playing cricket i suppose?
he turned to the counter and knocked his glass twice on the table------one more plz....
the counter boy seemed to be busy with the other customers... he slammed the glass on the table-----HEY!!! u deaf!!! will u give me one more or not?
the boy hurried towards him and said anxiously-------sir..am afraid..u had more than enough and u may fall sick....
the man-----thats none of ur business kid....u...---he pointed his finger at him-----just obey wat the boss says.......
the boy sighed------okay sir....
he looked at pratigya----u want somethng mam?
pratigya nodded----uh...no.... just the cake......
the boy nodded-----wait a minute mam..am just bringing it...
he came back in some seconds and gave the drink to the brown-eyed man... and handed the birthday cake to pratigya----here it is mam.....enjoy....happy birthday... he smiled..
pratigya was abt to say that it was nt her brthday bt he became busy at once with the other customers...
she was abt to turn back wen she heard------janam din bht bht bht mubarak ho.....
he held out his hand at her.. at frst she thto whether it wud be okay to take his hand or not,then she shoved away all ill feelings and shook hands with him------sir...aaj mera birthday nhi hain...ye mere dost ki birthday cake hain...i had come to take it for her.... bt anyways..it was nice to meet u.. she left his hand and walked away.....
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rohli was totally drunk and cud nt take her steps properly.... pratigya supported her on her shoulders and helped her to walk... ajit(kunal madiadwala) proposed to drop her home bt pratigya rejected his proposal. she said to him that she cud take care of her alone.... she waved goodbye to all of her frnds and walked rather strangled with rohli towards her car.....
she helped rohli get inside on the backseat as she took the driver's.....
she was abt to start the car wen rohli's groans and some other sounds made her look back... to her utmost shock she saw that rohli had vommitted on the backseat......
EEWWW------she cudnt help expressing her disgust----shit!!! yar ye kya kar diya tune....
in reply,rohli tossed her head backwards,her eyes shut.....
pratigya realised that she was nt at all well.. she speeded her car towards rohli's apartment....
it was nt difficult for her to help her inside her flat as it was on the ground floor... after settling her there comfortably and becoming sure that she was okay and cud stay on her own,she left....
it was 2.30 a.m. then and the streets were almost totally empty.... pratigya became nervous.. she had nvr driven alone so late.... oh she wished to have at least a driver with her...bt she cudnt afford it.....
she turned on the music system and tapped her fingers on the steering wheel to enjoy the rhythm wen suddenly somethng seemed to happen as her engine started giving out disgusting sounds..... she was abt to apply the brakes bt her maruti 800 didnt wait for her...it made a terrible screeching sound and stopped in the middle of the dark road....
now pratigya felt terrible panicked.. she wasnt a gud mechanic and she cudnt understand wat became of her car.. she tried a lot to make it move agen,turning the key repeatedly bt in vain....
disgusted,she came out of the car and looked around her.. there was no sign of any other vehicle...
aab main kya karu?------said pratigya to herself----accha hota agr main tab ajit ki ya kisi aur ki madat le leti..kal duty hain mera...dhai baj chuka hain aab kaise main quarters wapas jaun.... she tugged at the ends of her hair in impatience and slammed a kick on the door of her car.... normally she was a vry goody goody kind of grl bt wen her temper rose,she became mad like anythng......
suddenly she felt as if she cud see a light frm a distance... her heart leaped in joy as she realised within seconds that there were two lights..indicating that it was a car wich was speeding towards her...... overjoyed,she jumped up and ran at the middle of the middle,waving her hands at the car to catch the driver's attention and screaming----STOP!!! PLZZZ STOOOPP!!!!!
the car applied its brakes and stopped in frnt of her.. she ran towards it and peeped in through the driver's window-------excuse me...kya aap mujhe plzz J.M. road drop kar sakte hain?dekhiye mera car kharab ho gaya hain and i am too late...itni raat ko mujhe aur kahin se bhi madat nhi milegi....plzzz..... main aapko paise de dungi....
the driver looked at her and said-----madam paise ki baat nhi hain...baas aap sabse ekbar puch lijiye...woh piche baithe hain.....
pratigya hurried towards the back window wich had its glass raised.. she knocked on the black glass... it slowly came down and her blood seemed to freeze at the voice------YES?
she was stunned to see the person inside.. it was the same man she had met in the disco...the same man with those intense deep brown eyes....
she took few seconds to speak------sir..plzz if u dont mind..am in a big trouble..my car has just been...i mean...i need to go to my quarters on J.M.road....i have a duty tomorrow at 7...an i dnt know whether...if u...bt...plzz....
she kept on blebbering out of excitement,quite unrealising wat she was saying wen the man said calmly----get in....
she felt as if he poured cold water on her face... her face brightened immediately-----just a minute...
she ran towards her car,took out her purse and keys and came back------thank u so much sir---- she said as she got inside beside him----am so grateful to u.....
he avoided her and said to the driver------aab kiska intezaar kar rahe ho?
the driver nodded and started the car.. pratigya became quiet at once,realising that she was talking to much.....
at frst pratigya felt a little uncomfortable inside the car bt cudnt possibly guess the reason for that... then slowly she began to realise it... the car was stinking with the terrible stench of probably..VODKA.... she felt like vommitting.....
oh!!!!---she cudnt hide her expression...
the man turned at her-------am sorry for the inconvinience..... bt u only have to spend a little more time here with me....
pratigya didnt know wat to say... suddenly she came out with the most stupid expression------i dont know how these people cn drink so much...
hardly had she uttered it wen she herself realised that she shud nt have said that----um...am sorry agen..i shudnt have said that...actually am nt used to it...sir..i really am sorry....
to her surprise he smiled-----no probs.... its a common question.....
she stared at his eyes...and for the frst time her heart ached at seeing his face... it looked so pathetic,so distressing as if...as if...he was going to die......
she was going to say somethng to him wen the driver stopped the car and said-----chetna apartments..madam aapka ghar aa gaya hain....
pratigya looked away.. she tried to unlock the door,bt it was probably stuck,she cudt......
the man moved forward to help her.. his cheek brushed against hers as he tried to open the jammed door....sending an electrifying impulse down her spine..she backed away instantly..... the door jerked open....
the man----chalo...goodnyt....
she moved out of the car and before shutting the door she held out her hand for the second time-----hii...am pratigya saxena....
the man looked at her for sometime then touched her hand slightly..... his voice sounded tired and weary as he muttered his name------krishna....singh....
pratigya smiled and shut the door... the car speeded away at once.....
as she walked towards her quarters,suddenly like a lightening spark,something came into her mind..... a newspaper article of abt two mnths ago.... that had created a havoc in the city for sometime....
THE BIGGEST INDUSTRIALIST IN TOWN, MR.KRISHNA SINGH SUFFERED A MAJOR ACCIDENT... HIS CAR CRASHED DOWNHILL IN OOTY AND HE WAS BADLY INJURED.. BT UNFORTUNATELY... HIS WIFE AND HIS 3 YEARS OLD SON DID NT SURVIVE THE ACCIDENT......
pratigya's spun around as if she wished to see krishna's car standing there still...... bt of course it was nt there.... she closed her eyes and recalled the pain she saw in his eyes....... the pain wich she cud feel in her veins now.....----how cud a man drink so much????
the answer was given by the dark night------wen he loses all hopes..all reasons to live.....wen he wishes to die........
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Edited by kaasshh - 15 years ago
