Indian TV's doormat daughters

mahmansma thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#1
Pl note that this is copy pasted from another site, but it is an interesting read!

MODERN MYTHS
Indian TV's doormat daughters

No one really knows what kind of 'research', if any, goes into the creation of the top soap operas. But it does seem that viewers get high on stories about desperate, docile daughters and daughters-in-law, writes Vimla Patil

If Indian television soaps are any evidence to go by, India's daughters and daughters-in-law — from the rural poor to the well-educated urban rich — are spineless doormats who cannot speak up to save their lives. In India, prime time television viewing begins traditionally by 8 pm when most working people have returned home and home-makers are settled after their daily routine of housekeeping and managing the children. The shows that are telecast during these hours — 8 pm to 11 pm — are therefore considered to be the most successful with the highest TRPS. So let's see what is on the menu.

Show some spunk, girls
According to media pundits, Balika Vadhu is the flavour of the season right now. In this narrative, all the women — heroine Anandi, her mother Bhago, mother-in-law Sumitra, aunt Gehna and sis-in-law Sugna — are going through some kind of torture or the other. All face relentless humiliation, insults and loss of self-esteem at the hands of the ogre matriarch, Masaab.

Except Gehna — who shows some spunk but is 'defeated' by her motherhood — all the women are helpless in the face of disgusting abuse from the men in their family and the vicious grandmothers.

The other show which attracts a huge number of eyeballs is Bidaai in which Sadhana, the beautiful bride, suffers every variety of insult. Currently, she has been thrown out of her house and is living in her uncle's home where she is hated and abused. It is likely that she will happily return to her sasural when her tormentors deign to give her a clean chit.

Take the case of Akshara, a university educated beauty from a wealthy Marwari family in Udaipur. In the popular soap Yeh Rishta Kya Kehlata Hai, she is thrown out of her home by her 'loving' but spineless husband Naitik. She too, anxiously waits to crawl back to her sasural.

The heroine of Lado, Sia, is humiliated beyond endurance by her in-laws, who use her as a servant. Sia is a doctor's daughter and well-educated, but she accepts this humiliation, agreeing to slave in the kitchen and work as nurse maid to the family's arrogant men.
To add to this parade of doormats, there's the unfortunate Amoli of Bairi Piya, who is relentlessly hounded by a horny zamindar.

There is no escape for her, not even the protection of her husband, who is willing to 'donate' his wife to his master, the zamindar.

Where are the real women?
The question here is: Are modern Indian women truly like this? Does TV honestly portray the Indian woman of today? Are they total wimps who can be pushed around, kicked out of their homes, deprived of their freedom and respect, raped, molested, plotted against and insulted every step of the way?

"Not at all," says Niyati Shah, an IT executive in Bangalore, "I would never accept such behaviour from anyone. Recently, I rejected many marriage proposals because the boys wanted me to move to the US or to the Gulf. I have a fabulous job here and don't wish to give it up and relocate."

Many young women like Niyati are clear about where they want to live and work, how they too must look after their parents and how they must have personal rights.
"I would never go back to a family that has thrown me out after insulting me. Women ought not to feel so helpless. These soaps on national television, night after night, are misleading and even damaging," says Niyati.

'Spare us the drama'
"I would not want my daughter or daughter-in-law to accept this kind of treatment," says Rohini Adhikari, an income tax officer, "I wonder if TV serial makers look at the women outside their very small world."

Today, women are counted among the most powerful people in the country. Some Indian women even feature in the list of the Forbes most powerful 100 women of the world. Sonia Gandhi, Indra Nooyi, Chanda Kochchar and other women have made it to the world's power list. Millions of women make excellent money and pursue challenging careers. So, to show women as doormats is unrealistic.

The winds of change are blowing across India. "I would want TV to show the changing picture of Indian women too. Instead of showing over-dressed women being kicked around in their homes and living in fear of their own families all the time, I would want to see brave women who are building the new India as an inspiration to all women," says Rohini Adhikari.

Why are these soaps popular then? "There is a dearth of good television programming," says Swapna Nair, a script writer. True, television in India blindly follows trends. Sometime ago, it was the saas-bahu soaps about Gujarati women living in huge joint families. These lost out because they just went on and on, introducing bizarre track like mothers-in-law being sent to prison by scheming daughters-in-law and so on. At one time Ekta Kapoor had 19 such serials running on several channels with great success! Then, viewers suffered from TV exhaustion. The soaps lost steam, one by one.
Other production houses grabbed the opportunity and brought the flavour of Rajasthan to the small screen. All women wear Rajasthan-style costumes, all men wear the pagrees and kurtas from this beautiful state. Even the dialects are from Rajasthan. This is a new fad and viewers are finding something new in the serials. Some of them like Balika Vadhu claim to have a message. But nothing can justify the constant humiliation of the daughters and daughters-in-law.

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Vr15h thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#2
Jyoti too belongs in the above list, even though it's not mentioned. Also belonging in the list, but not exactly in Rajasthan, is Preeti in DHKJ, where she agrees to her mom emotionally blackmailing her into marrying a guy she can't stand, to now putting up w/ saas torture. Thankfully, I've kept myself from watching that show.

Are the bulk of Indian women really like that? My wife would threaten to walk out on me in a microsecond if I treated her that way

P.S. The above article is on abusive saas/bahu relationships. But right now, it's Jyoti's own maayka that's behaving that way
Edited by Vrisha - 16 years ago
mahmansma thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#3
I am very surprised too. I am an Indian woman and will sue big time if I am put to the kind of torture that Jyo is subjected to.

My poor husband will stand no chance against the attack that I will volley on him.

I wonder if women just stand, cry and act as doormats just to get a 'good girl' tag. I have two daughters and my first lesson to both would be of self respect. Make sure you are worthy of it, and if you are, don't settle for anything less.

I don't watch the DHKJ but I did see a part of it once. It was very annoying to see her mom blackmail Preeti. Gimme a break! You squish and squash all your daughter's thoughts and dreams coz you know better for her?

Vrisha, if you get a chance do see Yeh Pyar Na Hoga Kum. Not sure HOW the story will go in the long run, but it takes a very good dig at the Indian opposition to Intercaste marriages. Best of all, the girl is a strong willed person and not like Jyoti...bending backwards for her family, and having her priorities all wrong.

-Yuks- thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#4
There was actually one show I used to watch on Sahara One called Main Aisi Kyun Hoon.
The main protagonist, Sanjana, refused to get married because she could never find the right guy.
They tried to get her married. She was engaged to an abusive guy for the sake of her sister, but she manages to get her sister married his bother and breaks off her own relationship.
Then she's in love with another guy who is the main antagonist's son, and it's about how she saves her house from troubles
Sanjana doesn't get married through the enture duration of the show, even in the last episode, it is an emotnal make-up with her boyfriend who had mended his ways (left his father and his money so that they both can build a life together,working as middle-class people)
I think that show was unique, but oddly (and predictively) enough, it never really picked up. Not too many people have heard of it. We need more shows like that. How Sanju does everything herself, as an independant working woman
Jyoti I find is still stronger than most female characters. She's back in her maayka, but she has the reigns of her life in her hands, she works, life is good.
However someone like Akshara in YRKKH, is educated and from a rich family, yet all show does is mope around her maayka all day and hope that her husband will come take her back. How ridiculous!
Yuks
Vr15h thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#5
I'm wondering whether they've come to a breaking point and determined that they have extracted all the negativity they can show?

I don't watch Bandini, but from what I can follow, already there Santo has gained a new resolve and is now confronting all her enemies. Wonder if Jyoti has gotten to that point as yet, or if it's just a flash in the pan? I want Jyoti's martyr persona to be martyred, and her to stop making sacrifices, and instead making everyone pull their weight. Just as she confronted Bhairavi, she needs to confront Padma as well.

And Sudha too - I have been hugely disappointed in her. Now, w/ this, and Uday's daring to confront CM, I hope she too follows the lead and makes it clear to CM that while she is loyal to the Vashisths, she refuses to support them in any of their plots against Jyoti going forward.
matwamango thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#6

Originally posted by: queenyuks

There was actually one show I used to watch on Sahara One called Main Aisi Kyun Hoon.

The main protagonist, Sanjana, refused to get married because she could never find the right guy.
They tried to get her married. She was engaged to an abusive guy for the sake of her sister, but she manages to get her sister married his bother and breaks off her own relationship.
Then she's in love with another guy who is the main antagonist's son, and it's about how she saves her house from troubles
Sanjana doesn't get married through the enture duration of the show, even in the last episode, it is an emotnal make-up with her boyfriend who had mended his ways (left his father and his money so that they both can build a life together,working as middle-class people)
I think that show was unique, but oddly (and predictively) enough, it never really picked up. Not too many people have heard of it. We need more shows like that. How Sanju does everything herself, as an independant working woman
Jyoti I find is still stronger than most female characters. She's back in her maayka, but she has the reigns of her life in her hands, she works, life is good.
However someone like Akshara in YRKKH, is educated and from a rich family, yet all show does is mope around her maayka all day and hope that her husband will come take her back. How ridiculous!
Yuks

I remeber that show it was cool i liked how Sanju stood up for herself but unfortunately shows like that never last in India.
asrasrasr thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#7
There used to be such good shows when I was a small child in dd like Rajani, Khandan, Fauji etc.. where women were not merely helpless pawns but had their own identity and self respect. Now a days I don't find a single such character.
anna44 thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#8

Originally posted by: matwamango

I remeber that show it was cool i liked how Sanju stood up for herself but unfortunately shows like that never last in India.

True Matwamango ...Show that has strong Protagonist does not last too long ...
Unfortunately, I don't know why the audience wants to see the torture of Lead actress and all SOAP has the lead actress are like DoorMat.
IndHyd thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#9
Even Jyothi is not strong enough.She made a good thing that she returned home and has a life of her own , but she is not able to make the family members responsible.When Deepu is not in a state to support himself and family why did she support his marriage. And sushma's pregnency.Why didn't she support abortion.She should make strong decisions instead of supporting the family endlessly for their meaningless demands. None of the Women on Television are Strong.
Edited by IndHyd - 15 years ago
Vr15h thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#10
^^^^ Except Bhairavi 🤣🤣🤣

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