Respecting Elders

Sorry if a topic is open already

Whenever you see young people and elder people people fighting in dramas, the younger are asked to say quiet and respect their elders. Well if they elder was disrespecting you, do you stay quiet or fight back. Please show your views on this rule of the Indians.

I personally think think we should be able to say something back, at least to defend ourselves. For example, I do so much work around the house but my Grandmother calls me lazy. If i change the channel because i want to watch my show, she says of course its your tv, and murmurs under breath. That always happens so i can never watch any show. Then in front of my brother when she is tying his turban, she back stabs me calling me swear words in punjabi, and makes sure i can hear. Sometimes i say something back, and she starts fighting with me, and then tells my dad that i talked back and change the story. In this case, my dad says not to talk back. But now my dad thinks i'm talking back to him whenever i correct him, or express my opinion. Is this right?

i feel a person must stand of his/herself. its not that elders r always right. and at times elders r really mean and selfish and even jealous. so there is no harm in answering back or disobeying them if they r wrong. i do that all the time and have the worst reputation in my family. hehe

I was always taught to respect my elders, to never talk back, and to listen. My parents always say that the younger ones should always respect their elders, but the elders should also remember that they have to return the respect to their younger ones and realize that they have to earn the respect as well.

I think that if your grandmother does that to you, I think you should understand that she is older, wiser, and perhaps at this age, maybe she doesn't intend for things to be this way, but they just do. Try to understand her side of the story. But don't back to her, don't give her reason to say something to you. If you don't talk back to her, then your dad will also see that you're doing your job right. That you are being the better person, if you will.

Just become someone is our elder or in more authority does not automatically ensure that they will be right. My mom always tells me that they don't have to be right, but you do. Always remember that you also carry with you, your parent's respect. I'm sure they wouldn't want you to talk back to them or your grandmother. They've earned that much in life, I'm sure when we're there age, we'll realize that.

Respect is something that is earned, and not granted. I do not believe anyone can be granted respect merely because they are older or senior. Each and every individual no matter how old or young, is deserving of respect if they conduct themselves in a respectful manner. That is why I strongly disagree with the notion that elders/teachers/seniors must always be respected. I personally, will respect people only when my conscience feels that they are deserving of respect.

However, not having respect for someone does not mean that you have to be rude and disrespectful. If someone treats you disrespectfully, first politely approach them and honestly express your feelings. Many times people do not realize they are being disrespectful and will change their ways. If that does not work, learn to turn the other way and move on. Just because someone does not treat you right dos not mean you have to stoop to their level and be rude or disrespectful back. Always conduct yourself with dignity, and there will be people who deeply respect you for it.

Considering your situation, the elderly are very vulnerable. They are at a point in their life where they are very much dependent on others. They have lost the self confidence, self respect and self reliance they once had and enjoyed in life. It is a very difficult position to reach that U-turn in life where you go from being provider to dependent. Sometimes they lash out and behave in erratic ways to create a false sense of security. They do not mean to be disrespectful, but end up being that way. After a certain age the mind also degenerates. People go back to having the patience and temperament of a kid and may not reason well. In this situation, one ought to act the grown up and be mature.

Actually, watch Pixar's UP; its a beautiful take on the aging process and how the best of people can get bitter, rude and resentful - and all it takes sometimes is to light up their inner soul again.

i remm my grandmother(nani) used to always say bad things about us and good things about the kids of her son(my maternal uncles) so i eventually stopped doing any work for her and asked her to get those things done from her other grand children( but i eventually did all that work bcoz i had to). and i also remm she used to be very mean to us bcoz we were girls and they were boys. mind it this has got nothing to do with her growing old bcoz she was just in her late 40s at that time.

my mom she never let me wear jean and when i started earning the first thing i did was buy a jeans and a tank top.

there is also my cousin's MIL who scolds us unnecessarily as if i am her DIL.
and ofcourse we have the famous example of MIL and DIL. DIL need not respect a bully MIL or obey everything said by her.

of course educated and sophisticated people will not fight back like tachy people. there is always a way of saying things. but the end result should always be that wrong things should not be endured whether done by an elder or a junior, rich or poor etc.

Originally posted by: Gauri_3

del.....

I hate del....

@ souro's comment- what if a girl is a house wife? she will listen to everything just bcoz she is not working?

If talking about the Indian society you are always expected to respect elders..
Even if they are wrong?..No then one is suppose to take stand in such a way that it neither looks disrespectful nor do i had to compromise with my dignity.
Accepting someones outher viewpoint just because he/she is elder to me..I cant do that..
Of course parents always teach to respect elders..but my parents have also taught me to speak for the right..
And if i know that i am right in a thing I will give my views..but in a dignified way..
Moreover one cant dominate outhers capability to accept things...So its neither important nor necessary for me..that the elder one or(any outher person) has to agree with me..If they do then very well..and if they dont I leave the place..
And in your case..
Your grandmother is bit annoying (as far as I can infer)....So just overlook the words said by her (if possible)...And if not possible say your point in dignified way and leave and if you cant leave then ignore her...