Antara's Diary ..... 5th to 9th Oct

Dear Diary,

I think the day started out on the wrong foot ….. all because of me. That old lady was in a bad mood at the dining table and was speaking loudly and angrily to Vidya and Papa. She pushed me away so hard and told me to get lost. I don't understand her. What does she want from me? Papa was standing behind me. He caught me. He stroked my head. He did not like the way the people were talking loudly to each other. Arti bua was also upset with me. She has never liked me and I feel she never will.

Papa was dressed in nice clothes and came and sat near me. He told me that while everyone went for the ceremony, I won't be going. Thank God. Far from the madding crowd. *sigh of relief* Now for sometime there would be peace in the house. But why was Papa so sad? Why did he put his head on my lap and weep? I know he loves me and I love him too. So what was bothering him?

Vidya told him she would stay with him.

Sameer Uncle came to fetch Vidya and me. He took us to the Sangeet function. We entered the hall, but not everyone was happy to see me. Sameer Uncle was talking at length to his dad and kept beseeching him………..Beseeching him to allow me to be there. Why? Why don't these people want me there? I don't even say anything to anyone. I stay in a corner all quiet, yet how is it that they get so disturbed by my presence? In the end, Sameer father relented. Sigh.

That's all for now, Diary …………

Dear Diary

There was a lot of song and dance at Sameer' place. But Vidya kept me close to her. At one point, she left me and I saw a beautiful doll. The girl who was carrying her offered her to me. She tried to strike up a conversation while I was engrossed in her. All at once loud crackers went off behind me. My heart almost stopped beating. I began to scream and run. Everyone saw the tins trailing after me. And the two children as well. Vikram Uncle caught me and picked me up. Somehow he calmed me down.

After that all hell broke loose. Papa was shouting and arguing, then it was Sameer Uncle's father's turn and lastly Arti bua. In between even that old lady said something. Finally Arti bua pulled Papa away and we all left. I was happy. It was one of the most horrid and frightening experiences for me. We returned home. But Arti bua locked herself in my room. Now where would I sleep?

Actually Diary something had gone terribly wrong. I can't exactly put my finger to it but I was the cause of today's fiasco. I hope I am wrong…… but the way fingers were being pointed to me and the repeated number of time my name popped up….. told me that I was wrong..

Goodnight Diary……….I don't know when I shall sleep with so much of commotion in the house.

Dear Diary,

When we were playing in the courtyard today, Abhi was really upset with taiji. Sigh …. His mood just wouldn't mend. And while they were talking Billo said he wanted to marry me. Why did he want to marry me? What's 'want to marry'? Like Arti bua? Yeeks…… I don't want any drama of that kind. Anyway we felt hungry so we went home. Taiji was getting ready tp go. Thank God. There would be some peace from now on. But she came to me and caught my cheeks and pulled them. I was about to scream when Vidya stopped her and packed off both Abhi and I outside. The boys hatched a plot. Billo the brain brought a katori of oil and spilt some oil near the stairs. The door opened and the boys hid. But I stood where I was. As the old lady went forward, I held her hand. It would be cruel to see her fall…….no matter what.

Diary…..I did the right thing, didn't I?