I am now finally my father's daughter: Po

"It was an unusually bleak evening. My film Rog had released a few days ago and the collections on this mundane Tuesday were nothing to write home about at all... I bravely wrapped my failure around me like a familiar old shawl and decided to visit my father, my last attempt at grabbing a shard of sunlight before the day ebbed. He was as sage like as usual... and suffused me with warmth, even making me laugh out loud by telling me that behind every successful filmmaker, there are plenty of unsuccessful films! But wisdom and hence direction, came from an absolutely unexpected source... my 11-year-old sister Aliya...who was seated at the dining table eating dinner with the concentration of a surgeon performing a bypass...

...Why do you'll make films for adults?' she asked me simply. 'Adults don't go to the theatres... we kids do... and you people block us out... why? Make films for young people please'. I was stunned by her observation. And even more so by how simply it was put. Besides, after having set a trend by making India's first real 'noir' love story, Jism, the time had come to move in an absolutely different direction... and that's how Holiday was born.'

'It's said that the most profound decisions are taken in the simplest manner and under the most ordinary circumstances. I had no idea that my decision, taken on the dining table that evening, to make a film, which has an average, ordinary teenager, an underdog as the protagonist, would change my life forever and become almost autobiographical in nature.'

'Like my heroine in the film, I too was struggling to find my 'voice', my 'idiom'.... And we both had a common dream... to make our fathers proud of us. Thus transforming from ugly ducklings to swans in our 'own' eyes... I think my metamorphosis started with my decision that this time, my father will NOT be present on my sets... I was going to go to Goa and with my limited understanding of life and cinema, push myself to make this film completely on my own without turning to daddy for approval at every given point. I was going to be accountable for every line, shot and decision whether good, bad or ugly. It was important for me to finally end my dependency on my father... and my duty to make my father feel that he did not need to worry about me anymore.'

Later that evening, I sat by the ocean reading and re-reading that message like a little girl trying to memorize the spelling of her own name... this is what I have never been able to achieve before... my father's unflinching faith that I will now be able to stand tall on my own even when he is not holding my hand. It was liberating yet frighteningly isolating...I guess achieving your dream is...'

'I've realized today that growing up means nothing more than taking complete responsibility... because no child can be a child forever... and no parent a parent forever... And the only real gift we can give our parents is to make them stop worrying about us... stop being concerned about our survival... For the first time in 33 years I can honestly say that I've fulfilled that duty... and while I admit that HOLIDAY being accepted at the box-office would thrill me, it would most certainly not define me...because my identity rests firmly and happily on one fact...that I am now finally my father's daughter."