Antara's Diary ......17th Aug to 21st Aug

17^th August,

Dear Diary,

Today was a day for practice.

Papa started to show me pictures about this….this festival. The first picture showed a long rope tied across the road with a handi hanging from the centre. Papa said that that handi needs to be broken. Why should the beautiful pot be broken? What an idea! Any way the next picture showed a group of boys forming a pyramid to touch and break the handi. Whatever is in the handi is theirs I suppose. The last picture was of a blue man. But some bright light was shining out of his face. Who was he? Was he the person who Papa refers to as Bhagwanji? I looked at Papa. He had fallen asleep.

As I continued to look at the blue man, I heard the nice lady's voice. She was telling a story to Abhi. I went to her room and stood in the doorway listening to her. Abhi was lying on the bed. She was telling him a story. Oh my! What a long story it was ……. Sigh. But I liked her voice. I liked the way she lay on the bed with Abhi and talked to him. Soon she said it was enough for the day. But Abhi didn't want that. However she was firm and tucked him in. That's when she noticed me. She asked me why I hadn't slept as yet. She led me from the room. Papa was sprawled on the floor fast asleep. For tonight, she tucked me in. She had a nice touch and was different from Papa. She stroked my head and patted my cheeks. This was the first time. But she kept stealing glances at Papa. She got up. Was she going to tuck him up too? No, she cleared the mess. Papa is good, today he is tired. She put a cover on him too. Why did she do that? He is a big boy, na……? She saw the pictures and then looking at the blue man she picked up the pictures and went outside.

Later she was teaching all the kids to sing. Boy!! These guys really really are in need of some practice. Suddenly some mothers came and began talking about clothes. New clothes and fancy clothes to make all the children look good. But the nice lady was silent. She looked at me awkwardly. The ladies told her not to buy clothes for me…….only for Abhi. What would I understand old and new? And then they said I wasn't her daughter. How silly!! Everyone knows she isn't my mother. My mother is Anuradha Rai and she lives in the sky.

18^th Aug

Dear Diary,

A very long entry today.

I was lying in pink clouds with my eyes closed. From far I heard a kind loving voice asking me to wake up. I didn't want to but the voice was persuasive. I felt the breeze flicking through my hair. It was such a sweet feeling. My eyes slowly opened. Someone was calling me. It was the kind lady. I got out of bed. She was taking me somewhere. Abhi wanted to know where we were going.

She took me to her mother's house. Her mother was surprised to see us so early in the morning. She needed Rs 2500. Her mother had a kind face. Actually I think her mother had a kinder face than her. Well…..she instantly gave the lady money from her purse saying she was happy. The kind lady said she wanted the money for herself for …. What did she mean? Did she mean she wanted it to give it to someone else and that would give her joy? Her mother looked at me. Would spending the money on me give the kind lady joy? I suddenly felt warm.

There was a pooja in the house. The nice lady was sitting near the gods and preparing something. She called Abhi but he was reluctant to come. I went there. I liked the feel of the mattress under my feet. She invited me to sit beside her. So I did with folded hands. Not to be outdone, Abhi followed me there. He is such a copy cat, na….? Papa came and said all were coming. The nice lady started to sing. What a nice voice she had! I didn't now the song otherwise I too would have loved to sing. The others were all there and singing the arti. After the arti was done, she put something cold on my forehead. I didn't like the feel of it at all. Some paste that was wet and sticky. I screamed. Papa wiped it off. I was okay after that. She was a bit offended, I think. I tried to smile my apology.

I was playing with my Jigs when Billo came to my room. He thanked me for giving him the nerve to climb the pyramid. I gave him encouragement? What was he talking about? Yes I did smile at him because although he looked like a frightened monkey, I recognised him. I smiled because I realised why people broke the handi. But this guy I bet thought something else. He said he wanted to give me some paper which he called money. What's money? But this dude's a cool one. He extended his hand to give it to me and then pocketed it saying I could take it from him whenever I wanted. Good thing I was looking at my Jigs. Otherwise I would have scowled at him. * giggle* He told me to be good and do a proper act with him as Radha. O God there's that Radha thing…. again.

Papa showed me a picture of the dress and explained that I was to wear it and go down for the show. He tried to make me wear it. But I pushed it away. I don't want to wear anything but that blue thing for going out. Or my cotton frock. Papa told that nice lady that I wasn't cooperating and seemed to give up. But that nice lady had some magic. She knew how to make me wear that long skirt and the silly blouse ! She showed me the photo of the blue man and the lady with him, Radha. I looked and looked at the picture. I then wore the clothes and went down holding the hands of Papa and the nice lady.

This should be a sticky!!!!!!! Awesome Skept

awesome as usual...keep it goin skep...