dil se- Meet story - Page 21

Eventually, he opened the right hand side of the drawer from bedside table and the bottle that he had been looking for rolled forward noisily. This was exactly what he needed; Scotch, and lots of it. Unscrewing the cap, he grimaced as he drank a large measure and the silky substance slid down all too easily. He'd be completely legless by the time this bottle was empty, he knew, and he was glad of it. Even if it was only a temporary fix, it made him numb to everything, and he wasn't going to say "no" to that. she was out their somewhere in outer space enjoying the nights with her romantique husband i.e. his brother while here he was once again drinking all alone at night or lest just say early in the morning, cursing at himself for letting her go.

Sitting on the floor, legs crossed like a child, he was fully aware of the fact that he'd made a horrible, horrible mistake. For the first few hours, he'd tried to console himself with the fact that he could have love of his life, little money that could help the family business and most of all his chance to become the most perfectionist lawyer that anyone has seen if only he marries to a women that he cannot stand at all- he could have his family, career and be rich all at once. It also only took him a few hours to realise that he'd just thrown away the best thing that had ever happened to him, the only woman he had ever truly loved. He couldn't believe how much he'd cried. He'd been inconsolable, and now he was sick of everything hurting.

He wanted to forget the fact that he'd just told the woman he loved that he wanted her to be his friend again, told his own father that he cannot sacrifice himself so his father could keep up the promise made to his best friend and he ran out only to find that his younger brother had married her and now was in love with her. He wanted to forget that he'd actually been fooled by green notes and bi names who didn't care a jot about him. He wanted to forget that any chance of having a loving relationship- maybe even a family of his own- with Meher was now well and truly gone. He wanted to forget it all, and he was going to. It would be so easy.

Clutching the bottle neck, he scrambled back into bed and, pulling his legs up against his chest, drank deeply. He wasn't going to sleep that night. He couldn't sleep. Something was missing and everything hurt. He was a fool, and he knew it. To think that it would all be so easy, that his feelings would die once he'd killed their relationship had been ridiculous. All that was dying was him.

It was almost as if, he mused wearily, he couldn't stand to be happy. It certainly explained why his whole bloody life had been so miserable. He had everything in his life to anyone that would see from outside but what he knew that no one cared or thought of was that he never wanted any of it all he ever wanted was someone to love him like he loved them, sure his family loved him, he had fantastic father who looked at him like he can be the one person that could live up to his name, his mother who cared more about his older brother and his sister Veera who was spoilt brat and selfish, his older sister Kuldi only one that he had any respect for from bottom of his heart and finally Prem who always took side if his younger brother and left him by himself to fight the dreadful battles of destiny, finally Preet … he was away in a hot country marrying the lady of his dreams and playing a happy family with … Meher…. All 26 years and not a single happy memory, so it made sense that he would have to try to destroy him the minute things started improving. Loving Meher in the first place, whilst wonderful, was hardly the best decision he'd ever made. Sure, she did piss him off sometimes when he wanted her to be their not as his friend but as his support and all she did think about was her husband Preet which never helped but he wanted to make a real relationship that when he dies he knows that he had achieved at least something in his life that he wanted to achieve. Something resembling a family. And he'd wrecked that by feeling scared of commitment and greediness of the money. It hadn't really ever bothered him before, though. His only thought had been getting her to see that he cared, that he would always care, and that he was never going to leave her alone. He snorted into his bottle, which was now half drained. That was a laugh. He'd promised her forever and given her… what? Two months of commitment?

"Arsehole." His voice sounded slurred and unpleasant. In the next moment, however, his thoughts were jumbled and broken by the shrill whining of his phone. Groping for the thing, he answered gruffly without checking the caller ID. "Yeah?"

"Bhaiya?" He swallowed thickly, his whole throat seizing up. His voice sounded high and soft, like he'd was living in a dream that he wished no one could wake him up from. He never doubted Preet's love for Meher wasn't genuine it more than he could ever give to her but somehow he always felt that he could give Meher everything he had dreamt for her and yet it wont be enough because somehow in her heart she had already chosen Preet as the only one that could give her what she wanted and unknowingly she had fell in love with him.

"Preet?" so when he found out that she had got married to his younger brother, he wasn't in shock or surprised yeah it was little flinch that he had got like his heart had broken inside him and his brain swearing and cursing him for letting her go but somehow he had known and he knew that everyone in the family knew and they talked that Meher and Preet were made for each other but it was him in denial but for how long?

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Shaurya rubbed wearily at his eyes, his whole body crying out in exhaustion. Physical exhaustion as well as mental; he'd been crying too long and he needed sleep. he needed Meher or lets say his mystery girl. he needed Meher for everything and she'd gone. he knew that the minute he got over his grief, he would hate her for leaving him, for breaking so many promises, for making everything they had had and everything they had given up, worthless like the childhood promises that they had made were just for the period of the teenage years and whenever they had the chance they would just go with someone without thinking about him. But at the moment, all he could do was weep. His pillow case was streaked with his tears and he could feel his heart breaking. He just wanted to sleep. Better yet, he just wanted to wake up. Because this all had to be some hideous nightmare. And she would be there when he opened his eyes, smiling down at him like she was every night in his thoughts but this time it was all in real, her hair ruffled from sleep and her eyes twinkling mischievously as she would tease him about his snoring or his bad habits but then innocently would tell him that she loved him like he always dreamt of for last few months.

He made a strangled sort of mewling, sounding distinctly like some sort of dying creature, which he supposed was a pretty accurate description. How could she have done this to him? It hadn't taken much to work out where they had all come from, he was her past and she had just moved on. Everyone in the family doubted their commitment especially when he as a stupid person had announced that he would like to get married to Meher few months later when he had came to England, still writing to her and phoning her when everyone were asleep but they all had thought it as their teenage growing days 'love' but now what they said was all true it was just a teenage crush, nothing serious and nothing more. She'd given him false platitudes and condolences and all he'd wanted to do was ask her what made her stop believing in their love? What did he say that she thought it was all a baby talk and nothing more than that? He had stumbled to his room soon after Meher and her husband and had introduced them selves to him but he had not bothered to introduce himself how can he? She had shown that she had clearly forgotten about him then what was the point? He didn't want any pity or any apologises from her, all he cared about was how can she? Sapna had mumbled her apologies, and he had recognised how sincere he sounded, but it hadn't been enough. he just wanted her back not as his mystery girl that he had already fallen in love with her but as his lost love- Meher.

And he needed sleep. Sleep to make his mind go numb. He'd contemplated drinking away his heartache, but had scrapped that idea pretty much instantaneously. He didn't need the added pains of a hangover, he was miserable enough as it was. So he needed rest. Sleep that would undoubtedly be filled with dreams of her, but at the moment all he wanted was to sleep it all away. The trouble was, nowadays, he couldn't sleep after realising what he had done… what his family made him do. Not without realising that he had himself had gotten into distraction of beauty and he had fallen in love with her but now she had done the same and it pains. He sobbed quietly as he thought about all that he had lost.

Heaving a tremulous sigh, he made his way down the hall from his bedroom and into the bathroom, refusing to look at his reflection as he splashed much needed cold water onto his overheated cheeks. As he clung to the side of the sink for support, he couldn't help but wonder what she would do if he simply went and took her in his arms and asked for one more night just so he could sleep and live the sweet dreams that he had dreamt for all his life. He knew she would refuse him or maybe give him a slap, but it would be too awful if he actually did that and she accepted it only to find that it was all for one night and nothing more. He bit his lip in thought. Maybe she would. After all, if he just go and tell her who he was and remind her what they had then she give him his last wish. she will want him to be her best friend someone that she would run to if she had slightest problems or fight with her husband or even if she has been ignored by her older sister, he was pretty sure that friends didn't hold each other as they slept but… Surely after everything they had been through, she wouldn't say "no", even in childhood days they would just fall asleep lying together like a couple knowing that this what they wanted. Question was, could he really ask her?

It would mean throwing all thought of pride out of the window, to go crawling back to her like the pathetic, love-starved individual that he was but he didn't think he cared. In the morning, nothing would have changed. But tonight? Maybe she'd give him this even if she refuses that one night of happiness for him at least he could ask her why she had done this to him.

Hesitantly he reached for the staircase that led him to their room, the minute he was standing on the first step like a child standing for a support he crawled on top, his body aching to go to sleep but his heart forcing it to carry on and see her like she was his breath and his body knew that she was the only way it could survive.

Reaching through the set of doors not knowing which one she was behind he knocked on the first one as he heard the door opened, revealing a tall guy.

"Yeah?" he bit the insides of his mouth, choking down his misery before answering.

"Shaurya?" he sounded weak even to his own ears. He was probably having a right laugh at his pathetic show.

"I know you… guy from the airport yeah? Preet Juneja" the tall guy gave his right arm to him for a friendly gesture as Shaurya took it. "Why don't you come in…. I got some food here we can have dinner together" Shaurya smiled not listening to what the guy was chatting about as his eyes was searching for one person- Meher.

"Preet?" His name was a whispered caress and he couldn't hold back a sob, even though it wasn't his name that was in her lips. "Oh, I'm sorry you must be …"

"Shaurya Virani"