SOTW: One sided break up....

6508 thumbnail
Posted: 16 years ago
#1

Hey Guys,

New SITUATION OF THE WEEK....

Here is typical example of women taking call's for both partners......

Scenario:

Girl wears the trousers as so to speak, she is quite dominant ...but guy is kinda happy just being with her but recently she has already called the shots that she wants end the relationhip before going to Uni - however many months that is.

From her POV - She doesn't want to be tied down to any guy whilst at Uni. She doesn't believe in LDR's and she made this decision even before going out with this guy. They have only been going out say 1-2 months.

His POV - He is not going to Uni, will take job or something...He adores the girl, liked her for a yar so from his side he has liked her for long...he isn't necessarily thinking about her going to Uni...but now discussion has come up - What is the point in this r/ship when clearly it will go nowhere when even before it has begun it is kind of doomed. He really likes her so doesn't want to break up even later on and because he has liked her so long doesn't want to break up now even though he knows and she knows that relationship probably won't go on....


But Question is it it fair on him that girl has taken decision for both of them/calls shots? OR is this just a case of any other break up where one of them wants to end r/ship doesnt matter reason why. And if he was also going uni he would feel same and not want r/ship to continue?

p.s situation can work vice versa. Also many situations of either one taking control 90% of time etc.

So advice team, what advice whould you give to him?

Start advising them....

To make things easier, we will continue the names from last time...and in future too

Girl - Jia
Boy - Raj
Love

Advice Corner Dev Team.😊

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souro thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#2

I don't feel there's anything wrong with the decision. It's the girl's life and if she feels she doesn't want any relationship whilst going to uni then noone can force her to have one.

From the guy's POV, I don't see what's there to cry over where infact he should be jumping around with joy to have gotten out of a train heading towards disaster. The girl had pre-decided that she won't continue the relationship once she got into uni. In that case I don't think the relatioship would have survived very long even if the guy insisted on carrying on and the girl agreed temporarily, for the fact is there is nothing to carry on in such a relation.
-Mystery- thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#3
Well, love relationships like all relationships should be mutual. We can't force any relationship on anyone.

So Jia doesn't want to be in the relationship with Raj anymore than there is nothing we can do about it.

I also feel bad when for the person who really adores the other person but the other person just wants to end the relationship. It's a horrible situation to be but you can't really do anything about it. How can you force the person who doesn't want to be with you to stay in the relationships?

There is no point. And it will be only a burden for her. So best is to let go and everyone has a right to his/her life.

Raj should let her go and maybe she will realize that she really does love him and may come back. If not, she wasn't' meant to be for Raj and he will find his true love soon.

-Mahi
Yazzi thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#4
hmmm ........ being in the boys shoe will suck like ... bless anyone who is in the situation ... but he can't really do anything, maybe talk to her about his feelings, but don't force her ...

If still she decides to break up then ... move on ... they might be someone else for him ...

but personally i don't see why she can't stay in the relationship and go to Uni ...

and if she really wants to break up then she should explain why?? ... the boys deserves an explanation
Edited by iqbal-pallavi - 16 years ago
bellajacob thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#5
love is selflessness...the girl is being selfish...the boy should move on...but the point is dint the girl know that she will be going to the Uni before getting into the relationship??😕
i dont like the reason why the girl says no to a guy who dies for her...and i dont understand on what belief he is asking her to come back??!!
ADVICE-
Jiah,always love the person who loves you..
Raj,dont make someone your priority when you are in their options...😊
Ishanvii thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#6

Raj and Jiah are not gonna gain anything if they continue the relationship at this point.It will end up to to be a burden to either of them or both of them in the long term.The reality of the difference of out look about the entire situation will bring in the ugly sides.

Jiah is a practical girl who gives importance to her career and future .Totally understandable.Her priority is very smart & clear..If LDR wasnt option at all she should have told Raj in the beginning of the relationship.Dont care it it is just a month of dating,Since she had already decided and was clear,he should have been given a clue.

Aww Raj, but needs to move on to someone who priority,preferences matches to his.

If Raj were the one to go to collage,I suppose LDR would have been a option .

Edited by lvsgm - 16 years ago
Minnie thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#7
Hmnn..this is a typical example of shifting attitude and gender discrimination on the reverse.....if it was the boy going to the univ & calling it quits, the whole world would be crying foul at how he took advantage of the girl and then left her for greener pastures.....😆
souro thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#8

Originally posted by: Minnie

Hmnn..this is a typical example of shifting attitude and gender discrimination on the reverse.....if it was the boy going to the univ & calling it quits, the whole world would be crying foul at how he took advantage of the girl and then left her for greener pastures.....😆

Now here is a lady who understands our plight. 😆
Ishanvii thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#9

Originally posted by: souro

Now here is a lady who understands our plight. 😆

😆..Sad but true.

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