Posted:
As we all know, CRM stands for "Customer Relationship Management", the
> buzz going among IT arena for marketing guys and every corporation is in a
> rush to implement it.... This is what CRM is all about . . . . . . . .
> .enjoy !!!
>
> The Future of Customer Service Centres
>
> Operator: Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your...
>
> Customer: Halloo, can I order..
>
> Operator: Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?
>
> Customer: Its eh..., hold on......6102049998-45-54610
>
> Operator: OK... you're... Mr. Singh and you're calling from 17 Richmond road. Your home number is 80942366, your office 7645 2302 and your mobile
> is 982266566. Which number are you calling from now Sir?
>
> Customer: Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?
>
> Operator: We are connected to the system Sir
>
> Customer: May I order your Seafood Pizza...
>
> Operator: That's not a good idea Sir
>
> Customer: How come?
>
> Operator: According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir
>
> Customer: What?... What do you recommend then?
>
> Operator: Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza.You'll like it
>
> Customer: How do you know for sure?
>
> Operator: You borrowed a book entitled Popular Hokkien Dishes from the National Library last week Sir
>
> Customer: OK I give up... Give me three family sized ones then, how much will that cost?
>
> Operator: That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is 749.99
>
> Customer: Can I pay by credit card?
>
> Operator: I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and your owing your bank 73720.55 since October last year
>
> Operator: That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan Sir.
>
> Customer: I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives
>
> Operator: You cant Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today
>
> Customer: Never minds just send the pizzas, Ill have the cash ready. How long is it going take anyway?
>
> Operator: About 45 minutes Sir, but if you cant wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle...
>
> Customer: What!
>
> Operator: According to the details in system, you own a Scooter,...registration number E1123...
>
> Customer: *!^ *%^**%^I7*
>
> Operator: Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman...?
>
> Customer: [Speechless]
>
> Operator: Is there anything else Sir?
>
> Customer: Nothing... by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?
>
> Operator: We normally would Sir, but based on your records your also diabetic.......
>
>
>
> The Customer faints...
> buzz going among IT arena for marketing guys and every corporation is in a
> rush to implement it.... This is what CRM is all about . . . . . . . .
> .enjoy !!!
>
> The Future of Customer Service Centres
>
> Operator: Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your...
>
> Customer: Halloo, can I order..
>
> Operator: Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?
>
> Customer: Its eh..., hold on......6102049998-45-54610
>
> Operator: OK... you're... Mr. Singh and you're calling from 17 Richmond road. Your home number is 80942366, your office 7645 2302 and your mobile
> is 982266566. Which number are you calling from now Sir?
>
> Customer: Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?
>
> Operator: We are connected to the system Sir
>
> Customer: May I order your Seafood Pizza...
>
> Operator: That's not a good idea Sir
>
> Customer: How come?
>
> Operator: According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir
>
> Customer: What?... What do you recommend then?
>
> Operator: Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza.You'll like it
>
> Customer: How do you know for sure?
>
> Operator: You borrowed a book entitled Popular Hokkien Dishes from the National Library last week Sir
>
> Customer: OK I give up... Give me three family sized ones then, how much will that cost?
>
> Operator: That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is 749.99
>
> Customer: Can I pay by credit card?
>
> Operator: I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and your owing your bank 73720.55 since October last year
>
> Operator: That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan Sir.
>
> Customer: I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives
>
> Operator: You cant Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today
>
> Customer: Never minds just send the pizzas, Ill have the cash ready. How long is it going take anyway?
>
> Operator: About 45 minutes Sir, but if you cant wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle...
>
> Customer: What!
>
> Operator: According to the details in system, you own a Scooter,...registration number E1123...
>
> Customer: *!^ *%^**%^I7*
>
> Operator: Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman...?
>
> Customer: [Speechless]
>
> Operator: Is there anything else Sir?
>
> Customer: Nothing... by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?
>
> Operator: We normally would Sir, but based on your records your also diabetic.......
>
>
>
> The Customer faints...