The sanctity of love in Imtiaz Ali's films

Watching Main Vaapas Aaunga cling an emotion in me that had purity for a person even at the age of 95. A man holding on to the promise given to a woman in the early years of his life, clung to him for the next 78 years, and still nobody is judging that old man, nobody is looking at him like he's a creep to still have that love in him at that age.

Imtiaz Ali held on to the thought process of a dying old man so correctly that I can vouch for it that I have seen the similar kind of things happening to my maternal grandmother and paternal grandfather. It's not love that I am talking about here, it's the unattended emotions in them that they had buried for years in their hearts and they want to express them finally.

My grandmother was 13 years old when she got married and my grandfather decided to stay in India while her entire family chose to migrate to Pakistan. Understand the plight of that 13 year old girl who saw her family only 4 times in the next 70 years of her life. She didn't get to see her parents' and siblings' faces when they passed away. She got the news of her father's passing some 3 months later through a letter sent via Dubai because there were no communication between the two nations at that time.

The last days of her life, all she talked and hallucinated about were her parents, her siblings, her lost son who passed away at a very young age, her emotions of separation from her family, her early life, the emotions she suppressed all those years; she talked all that to her favourite granddaughter- me.

All throughout the movie I could see my grandmother in Naseeruddin Shah, and myself in Diljit Dosanjh.

So, my Kudos to Imtiaz Ali and Naseeruddin Shah for portraying it so so correctly, so aptly that I can't help relate with it. It's such an amazing movie.

I felt bad for his wife, imagine your husband has 3 kids with you and harbors emotions for another woman, wives are treated like non human entities in movies glorifying such concept of love

It's not difficult to not cheat on someone who has given you a huge part of their life

Following is what I meant

https://x.com/Bhaadmjaaye/status/2071287734212436280

I get the trauma part of it, he was in a way "dead" after partition but that's why I don't see his feelings as "love"

Imtiaz cant write love at all, he can write characters and their actions/behaviors

Originally posted by: MsWhiskerson

I felt bad for his wife, imagine your husband has 3 kids with you and harbors emotions for another woman, wives are treated like non human entities in movies glorifying such concept of love

It's not difficult to not cheat on someone who has given you a huge part of their life

Following is what I meant

https://x.com/Bhaadmjaaye/status/2071287734212436280

I get the trauma part of it, he was in a way "dead" after partition but that's why I don't see his feelings as "love"

Imtiaz cant write love at all, he can write characters and their actions/behaviors

Aisa nahi hain. Though he doesn't love his wife, he didn't deny to fulfil his marital duties. He performed his duties wholeheartedly. he did it by suppressing his feelings. Not only Men, Indian women also do it due to family pressure and societal pressure. It happens mostly in arrange marriages in India.

I agree that emotional cheating is wrong, but it happens with most men and women. and it is reality. Pyaar kisi aur se hota hain aur Shadi kisi aur se karni padti hain.

Kya pata uske biwi ko yeah sab maalum hoga and usne accept kiya hoga. Even Afsana will have same feelings for him till her dying.

you are forgetting one thing- Kinu had advanced dementia.

Originally posted by: MsWhiskerson

I felt bad for his wife, imagine your husband has 3 kids with you and harbors emotions for another woman, wives are treated like non human entities in movies glorifying such concept of love

It's not difficult to not cheat on someone who has given you a huge part of their life

Following is what I meant

https://x.com/Bhaadmjaaye/status/2071287734212436280

I get the trauma part of it, he was in a way "dead" after partition but that's why I don't see his feelings as "love"

Imtiaz cant write love at all, he can write characters and their actions/behaviors

if this was the case then what was so different about it? man gets married, have babies and still has feelings for his past love. that is just old bollywood.

Originally posted by: sulu82

Aisa nahi hain. Though he doesn't love his wife, he didn't deny to fulfil his marital duties. He performed his duties wholeheartedly. he did it by suppressing his feelings. Not only Men, Indian women also do it due to family pressure and societal pressure. It happens mostly in arrange marriages in India.

I agree that emotional cheating is wrong, but it happens with most men and women. and it is reality. Pyaar kisi aur se hota hain aur Shadi kisi aur se karni padti hain.

Kya pata uske biwi ko yeah sab maalum hoga and usne accept kiya hoga. Even Afsana will have same feelings for him till her dying.

you are forgetting one thing- Kinu had advanced dementia.

The discussion is on sanctity of love, character and their motivations make sense to me, I am not commenting on that

I don't think there's any love because he has a wife and she shouldn't be dealing with a cheating husband

He ceases to be a good husband when he emotionally cheats on his wife

The "sanctity of love" doesn't exist in the story because we are dealing with someone who spent years with a woman, that woman gave birth to his 3 kids and he is thinking about someone else

The wife is not a non-human

It is not a love story, is my point

Originally posted by: iamrebelheart

if this was the case then what was so different about it? man gets married, have babies and still has feelings for his past love. that is just old bollywood.

Different is interpretation of it, I saw it as his emotions or growth as a character ending with partition, the "soul" died and he couldn't love or be there for his family, he did live but he was essentially a dead man

But thats just how I saw it, I didn't see it as a love story

Originally posted by: MsWhiskerson

Different is interpretation of it, I saw it as his emotions or growth as a character ending with partition, the "soul" died and he couldn't love or be there for his family, he did live but he was essentially a dead man

But thats just how I saw it, I didn't see it as a love story

partition stories are sad. I get the emotions. but having feelings for anyone other than own wife is not fair. I get it if he was dead inside then maybe its justified.

Because they were separated they had long lasting love. If they were married and lived together, thy would have fought many times maybe. Just a thought.....

Originally posted by: iamrebelheart

partition stories are sad. I get the emotions. but having feelings for anyone other than own wife is not fair. I get it if he was dead inside then maybe its justified.

It's not fair exactly, this is story of trauma of partition, not a love story

Much like Devdas is story about addiction, Deva's addiction to both Paro and Alcohol, which led to his death, people confused that with love story too