new morning, new day.

new morning, new day. what does the new day bring us. what will the morning be like after the storm that rages in my heart all night. What is happening to me? I still don't have an answer to that question and to many that I ask myself. should I go on a new adventure or should I stop here. I have never felt so miserable and miserable. I know and am aware of how I look, but does it bother anyone how I look. I had to try so hard to break prejudices about blondes and hot girls.

and now let me tell my story. a story in which many find themselves. As a little girl, I was always different from other children. my parents were not rich and they didn't have to give me a lot of money so that I could dress nicely. I managed the wardrobe. there were always older friends who gave me their wardrobe. I altered the clothes a little and made small masterpieces out of them. with a little imagination you can always look beautiful. my mom was a seamstress and she taught me everything about sewing and alterations. I was already a great wardrobe master.

I had a group of friends who loved me and I loved them very much. We were all together. The four of us were like the four musketeers. Our parents hung out together and that's how we started hanging out as children. We went to the same class and then when we were about to enter high school we somehow tried to be, if not in the same school, then close. I liked spending time with Marko the most. We always tried to stand out from the crowd a little and we always had fun running through the forest and meadow. One day when I was 10 years old, he asked me to marry him. And that's when he kissed me. hahahha how crazy I was.

Imagine me at 10 years old answering yes, I want to marry you if you tell me why you want to marry me - And he says so important. That I can kiss you whenever I want. Oh, and he kissed me. He just touched my lips so sweetly. And then we parted ways. When I turned 19, he asked me when we finished high school if I wanted to keep that promise, to marry him. Of course I immediately agreed. everyone was against that marriage because we were children, but we wanted to get married. And that happened. He got a job and I tidied up our house, which his grandmother had given us. His mother had a restaurant in town and his father died when he was little. My parents were poor and could not help us much. I was still sewing clothes, but since we were both in a small town, I wasn't making much money.

I have to admit that we were barely surviving. and I started to feel dissatisfied. everything started to bother me. both his absence due to work and then his presence. I wasn't happy. I cried every night because I couldn't live like that anymore. I loved him and he loved me and the only moment when I was happy was when he would hug and kiss me. that was my only spark of happiness, but it bothered me sometimes when I wasn't in the mood. and then he realized that I wasn't happy. During that period I was vomiting a lot and I was angry and furious that I could have upset my stomach. It didn't occur to me that I might be pregnant until my friend suggested it. I immediately took a pregnancy test and when I saw the result I didn't know whether to be happy or cry with pain.

I was pregnant. I cried all day. When Marko came home from work in the evening he saw on my face that something was wrong. He sat down next to me and asked me what was wrong. I had to tell him. Marko, I'm pregnant. He was very happy at the moment, but later when I said I wasn't happy and didn't want this kind of life, he turned to me and said - Okay, tomorrow we'll go to the doctor and do what you have to do. There will be more children. I was shocked. At first, I really wasn't happy, but his behavior destroyed me like this. How, doesn't he love me? He doesn't want a child with me. I thought about it all and it was hard for me to understand that my Marko had said that. In the morning I was sick and got up after Marko.

. I decided to pack up and leave him. But before that I did what no normal person would do if they didn't have to. I lost the baby. I didn't have an abortion, but I lost the baby from the stress. I went to the hospital, no one knew where I was. I checked in under a different name. I stayed in the hospital for a few days. I had a small savings and I had to pay for the hospital days. Later, I only had enough money to buy a one-way ticket. I decided to get as far away from him and that city as possible. My parents were worried about me, but I convinced them that I was fine and that I had to leave. Marko called me and begged me to talk, but I simply couldn't and didn't want to. My mom always said that in the neighboring city there were seamstresses who sewed for famous brands. And that their salary wasn't bad. That's what I decided to try. Alone in another city without anyone's help. Ugh, I was shuddering at the thought of what I had to go through on my own.

But oh father, my best dad in the world did something for me that I thought he would never do. He took out a loan and sent me money to buy myself a small apartment. I cried like a little child. My parents, to their great misfortune, wanted to help me. They wanted me to have something of my own. I bought a small apartment and with the money I had left, I bought some furniture and left enough to pay the rent where I lived until I bought the apartment and to have food for the first month. I promised my dad that I would pay back the loan only to get a job. And so it was-. My mom recommended me to a design house through her boss and they hired me- At first I worked as a tailor, and then when they saw that I was great with design, they wanted to help me rise to a higher level. After a few years of being here, I managed to have my first exhibition of my creations. In the beginning, Marko called me and begged us to reconcile, but I didn't want to. I sent him divorce papers several times, but the same papers were returned to me because he did not sign them.

my fight to get a divorce has been going on for 6 years now. The papers I send are returned with an unsigned name. I was angry with myself and Marko. Why is he punishing me now? I don't want to be married to him. I have a right to my happiness. Although, hand on heart, I still haven't found someone to love. Marko did something to me that will leave me with very deep roots of trauma. I find something in every man that reminds me of Mark, and I don't like that. And because of that, I still don't have an emotional connection. now, after so much time, I can say that I have become a successful woman.

What is she so depressed about? She needs to find a new outlet and find something to make her happy.