Log samjh hi nahi rahe ki Anupamaa "Gaslighting" ki bhasha bol rahi

Anupamaa no doubt traumatized hai. Par she is the case of abused being turned into a low-key abuser.

She is speaking the language of a gaslighter.

It happens in any kind of relationship.

She has developed narcissism (not as a disorder) in response to her trauma and twisted understanding of love, family and everything and she does not seem to care. She never reflects. If she did would have realised that the Shahs are abusing her and she herself is on the path of destruction. When people in her condition reflect, they realise they need professional help. When they don't they end up being like this only.

Ye "my way ya highway" ka option Dena kitna manipulative. Especially usko jiske liye aap hi uski Puri duniya ho. Ek tarah ka co-dependent rishta hai ye.

Ye kahkar nahi hota, par well understood hota hai: "Mere saath rahoge to mere term par chalna hoga, last priority banana hoga, hamare rishte ke centre stage me mai rahunga/rahungi lekin Mai expect karunga/karungi ki tumhari life me mai top par rahu. Mai tumhari usefulness/tumhare understanding nature/devotion ko exploit (knowingly/unknowingly) karunga/karungi. Tumko neglect karke tumse barabar counseling mangta/mangti rahungi."

I personally lived this in a sibling relationship. And in my profession, I watched this pattern in different kind of relationships.

And whenever you will try to communicate your problems and draw some boundaries, they will threaten to abandon you and because you are emotionally very vulnerable and have history of abandonment you let them do this to yourself for years. And all in the name of "great/unique/Godly love."

The thing is... Bahut sare efforts (both personal aur professional) dalne padte hain is cycle of trauma se nikalne me. Rishto ke aise patterns se bachne me..

So, I do understand.. ki Anuj ab tak ye sab kyo nahi kar paaya.

Although Makers ki intention kuch aur hai. Par wo log apne ill-informed version me bhi bahut kuch aisa dikha rahe hain, jaha ye sab saaf dekha ja sakta hai.

If you observe Anuj's case. It is much the same.

1. He loved someone on college at first sight and held on to that despite not being able to confess and the girl being married and with kids.

2. He has flings but nothing could erase his "first love" so much so that he keeps tabs on her through a friend.

3. He has a family but is not committed to them. Doesn't assume a responsible, loving/caring relation with them.

4. When he comes to India 25 years later amd encounters his first love, gets to know her marriage is on the rocks, ALL his hopes are re-igbited and fuelled by the common friend.

5. He proposes but agrees to remain friends with his muse. ALL this while, despite apprehensions front his relatives, he ignores them infact abstain from any actions against a perpetrator blind in his love for Anupama.

6. Through the wedding functions, he perhaps realises the toxic family that Anupama cherishes and that he will need a person to call his own and bind Anupama to him and proposes adoption.

7. He, himself being adopted, Choti Anu becomes a ray of hope for him. Also because, in his love for Anupama, he is officially isolated from the rest of his family.

8. He calls out Anupama's naturally toxic self sacrificing and obsession with Shahs but each time is either met with neglect, ignorance or abandonment.

9. Anuj, in his scare of being abandoned by Anupama, yields to every unreasonable demand and treatment of Anupama. This can be seen in a sequence between Ankush and Anuj where he expresses fear of being abandoned by Anupama post Samar's untimely .

10. The last straw was her risking Choti Anu's life, the only one he could call his own. And this led to his outburst.

In short, they are both in urgent need of professional help.

Idk but makers hate anupama that's it

Does Upma even know how to pronounce Geslyte Gaslight??

Originally posted by: Criticiser

Does Upma even know how to pronounce Geslyte Gaslight??

She doesn't need to pronounce it, she just does it well!