Originally posted by: nivi26
Everything I liked about Anupama initially was based more on hypothesis and would be explanations where I was waiting for her to change with new found purpose, strength and wisdom.
But, when I look back, she was always very problematic character and that never changed. In fact she became everything I abhore about patriarchy.
Anyway... It's hard to write about everything because then I will have to create multiple posts but I would like to mention several things which I find especially problematic.
1) She never took her share of properties when she was Shah's Bahu but was fine with having everything on her name when she became "Mrs Kapadia"..
Well... Legality aside.. mai Anupama ke argument use karke hi baat rakhungi. According to Anupama, that (zoo)house belonged to one and only her baapuji (and Mr. Shah). Jis Ghar me wo 26 saal rahi, jis ghar me usne 26 saal unpaid labor kiya (physical, emotional, sexual, childcare) aur abuse saha.. us ghar ne jisne use Padhai puri nahi karne di, Dancer nahi banne diya, aur middle age me "Zero" se start karne ko majbur kiya (don't forget hamari Anupama Devi ji Cancer Survivor bhi hain), us ghar me wo kuch bhi deserve nahi karti??? Legally speaking, to Mr. Shah se to wo bahut kuch "owe" (property wise) karti hain. Wo unke against DV ka case file kar sakti hai. Anyway. She only threated to file case against Kavya, never her pyari Baa and Mr. Shah.
But, thode bahut dikhaawati "hesitation" ke baad she was actually okay to inherit everything when she married Anuj Kapadia. Kaun sa logic tha yaha? She could have denied here as well! I mean, what they are trying to teach us? Ki women ka koi "right" nahi hota hai lekin ye ek "right men" ke "epic love" par depend karta hai ki wo hamare sab kuch naam kar de!
Anyway... Sab kuch Anuj ka tha bhi nahi. I understand his feelings against MD, he doesn't owe anything to her except may be to show some humanity which doesn't depend on personal relationships. Lekin, how could he forget that he has a loving sister as well! Ek din Bhaisahab ke man me aaya to Sara jaydaad Malvika ke naam kar diya (More to cause emotional burden to her and with guilty complex ki mai to "real waaris" nahi hu)! Lekin fir Malvika ne emotional trauma and wounded love mentality ke chalte waapis sab uske naam kar diya to he then transferred everything to "Anupama"! Waah!
What about Late Kapadias? What about their lagacy? What about Mukku's legal rights as 50% owner of everything Kapadias hold? Even though Ankush and Barkha are nothing but opportunistic, vile and good for nothing people but they too can claim some tiny share in Kapadia's empire (legally speaking).
2) She has no dedication towards her career, education, dancing... anything that is necessary for individual development and individual fulfilment:
Only thing she ever take it seriously is her undying devotion to Mr. Shah and his family and her good for nothing children. She constantly ignore Anuj (except dancing with him in Kitchen), Choti Anu, her degree course in whatever college, her health (yup, she is cancer survivor), her career (I don't know ki wo Kapadia Empire ke liye kis tarah se beneficial hai, kya karti hai, I can't comphrend.), her dance (waise bhi uska dance to 90s ka bollywood number hi hota hai), her well-being (we never saw her to go Gym, to jogging in a park, visiting saloon, meeting people who are close to Kapadias). Everything about her is Mr. Shah and Mr. Shah only.
3) Anupama and this show hates women:
Since the beginning, agar koi aurat Mr. Shah ko bhaav nahi deti, Career-orientated hai, individual hai, use ye Show "Vamp", "Crazy", "Mad" women ke roop me depict kar rha hai.
Ameer hokar bhi Anuj "mahan" hain lekin Kinjal ki maa "Naagin" hai.
Kavya "characterless, neurotic, selfish" hai, Sweety "Opportunistic, selfish", Barkha "Manipulative, Lazy, incapable, plotter" hai, Maya "crazy" hai, Dimpy "Battamij" hai, lastes supply MD to hain hi "evil incarnate."
Wahi women thik hain jo Anupama ki tarah keval naakare Men and only men ke liye saans le rahi hain. They make mistakes occasionally but they are not "evil."
4) "Baa" mahan hain, Period.
Baa ko aazadi hai ki wo dusri women ko torment kare, kyonki.... Wo Anupama ki "Baa" hain, old hain.
BAA ke Karnamo ki list bahut lambi hai. Anupama ko emotionally, financially abuse karna.. Fir Malvika ke against Mr. Shah ki saazish me bete ka saath dena, Dimpy ko sirf isliye torment karna kyonki:
1) she is rape survivor
2) She can't bootlick
3) she isn't rich like "Piyaari Kinjal"
She emotionally encouraged MD to commit suicide which is a crime btw.
Anyway... The list is endless.
What this is about:
If you're a woman you don't need to worry:
Tum Padhai aur Career par nahi Mr. Shah par focus Karo, Kanha ji se, Tulsi Mata se, Suraj Bhagwan se baat karo... To ek din ek Prine Charming aayega aur tumhare jaisi "Sanskari Cindrella" ko byaah kar le jayega aur saari jaydaad uske naam kar dega!
Aur lastly about mental health...
5) Women's mental health is a joke!
Jaise "mard ko dard nahi hota" ye pop culture myth hai jiska reality se kam hi lena dena hai. In typical patriarchal houses, men's health (including mental health) is always prioritized and women's health is neglected. Mental health ke mamle me bhi problem "social stigma", "unawareness", aur mard ke is attitude ki "mujhe koi dikkat nahi hai".
Lekin academic circles me, social media par, aur TV par Ameer log ye prove karne me lage hain ki aurat to "Shakti" ka rup hai aur wo "rokar" sare gam bhula deti hai aur men don't have that. Bakwas! Batao DV/rape jhelne wali aurat is baat ke liye kiske samne royegi? Apne abuser gharwalo ke samne ya un women ke samne jo women ke sath crime ke liye women ko hi blame karti hain??? Women literally don't get space to share her major problems/pain. Only thing she is allowed to share that doesn't malign her family's name and something that is considered every women's issues. Like: "meri saas to bahut kharab hai, meri to nanand aisi hai, mai hi sara kaam karti hu, mere bachhe ki tabiyat kharab hai, meri daftar ki female coworkers ne ye ye kaha/kiya"
Show me unhone Malvika ke years long Domestic Violence ko takiye ke saath maar Peet aur "Chak de chake" gaane me samet diya! She was practically abandoned after whatever happened to her. Her pain was depicted to highlight Anuj's guilt and Malvika's inability to know who is right for her. After her ordeal, Vanraj (Anupama ke Mishter Shah) manipulated her so that he can use her to fulfill his ambitions.
Then... Teenage Pakhi (FYI, ghar me baccho ka kisi ke sath DV hote dekhna unhe bhi DV victim hi banata hai) was depressed because she had to witness fights on daily basis. I am not saying she is some kind of angel but that is irrelevant point. Koi kaisa insaaan ho, ye sab uske saath nahi hona chahiye. Again, in today's episode Anupama said to Adhik, "ise samjhaao!" Jo aadmi kuch time pahle uski beti ko peet Raha tha, wo samjhaye Pakhi ko? Aur jab beti ne upbringing me yahi seekha hai to fir usse kya ummed kar rhi thi devi ji? When she defended Adhik to kyo kah rahi thi ki wo aisa na kare?
Then... Rape survivor Dimpy ko to show ne (aur audience ne bhi) characterelss, selfish, ehsaanfaramosh aur jaane kya kya kaha! Show me uske mental health par pade impact ko nahi dikhaya ki kaise use "professional help" ki jarurat hai. Nahi, she was mentally harassed by Baa from the start. Once she started to do the same she became "evil!" But Audience couldn't comphrend the very simple thing: ki wo to "script" ke hisaab se Aisa kar rhi thi. She was written to glorify "Anupama" and how people like Dimpy are ungrateful! Bhai "rape" survivor ke saath basic humanity bhale koi nahi show karta par agar koi aisa kare to kya use "ehsaan" kaha jayega? Not in my book. Talk about basic human decency! And it is totally different thant a favor you do for nepotistic reasons.
Worst treatment to inhone "Maya" ke saath kiya. Ek human trafficking survivor, self-made strong women ko pahle to "crazy" dikhaya.. ki she has no qualms about destroying someone's home? Ki ek Independent women ki life "men" ke Bina kuch nahi? Ki ek women ki mental illness uska "naatak" hai (as Kinjal said). Aur they never showed her to take professional help (therapy+ medicines).
Khud Anupama said to her Baapuji ki "I don't need professional help because I have you!" Wow! Way to trivialise mental health issues.
But they showed:
1) Toshu taking mental health counseling after he cheated on Kinjal and abducted Pari.
Though it was Kinjal who was cheated on, and she was weak due to being a new mother and she was constantly manipulated by Baa and Vanraj.. yet they never showed her need to take counseling and take some time off for her health! Instead Anupama said: "maa ko dukhi hone ka time nahi hota!" Wow! Wonderful!
2) Vanraj taking help
Because well, Samar died. Jabki he never cared for him when he was alive. Though it is legit pain. And yes, it is understandable. But specifically showing his pain (everybody is perfectly fine. In fact they are behaving like nothing has happened) they are making us to believe that somehow men's pain are more important than everyone else and they are poor souls who were misunderstood all their life!! Bohooo!
3) Anuj was mentally devastated after Choti Anu was taken by Maya.
His pain was real. But they only showed it to create a plot point against Maya. That's all. And it was again focused on "Anupama ki udaan" and grand entry of MD.
And again, his mental health concerns are shown but neglected by Anupama regarding MD.
4) Samar's mental health struggles were shown realistically (thoda bahut)
But it was shown to create drama in favor of Anupama. For this Vanraj never apologized and Anupama never called out Vanraj for the same. He was not shown to take professional help but he needed the most (more than Pakhi and Toshu) because he was made to feel low since his childhood by his own father.
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