Fichain #2 | Last part P.44 - Page 27

Created

Last reply

Replies

361

Views

20.4k

Users

12

Likes

871

Frequent Posters

Quantum-Dot thumbnail

Plot Pundits

Posted: 2 years ago

Originally posted by: LizzieBennet

Should I post my segment and then Bee can do hers whenever she’s back? We can keep an open slot for her, she can write after whatever segment she wants to. Is that okay with everyone?


I also want to get your okay for my next segment, I’ve put in some retconning, and added a bit of build-up for the next phase in this story. Shiri’s revelation about Abhay and Sam being brothers needed some retconning and also Abhinav’s involvement in the whole thing. Plus I wanted to thresh out some details about Sam, his work at the Mehtas, what he’s doing now etc etc while tying all the plot so far with the characters. So is it okay with you all if my segment is a bit longer?

@Bold : Absolutely okay with me, I always like a to read bit longer segments.

Now I am quite excited where you take the story forward, eager to know the twins wala story. I think you can continue, Bhree can take whenever she comes back.

Edited by Quantum-Dot - 2 years ago
LizzieBennet thumbnail

Narrative Ninjas

Posted: 2 years ago

Originally posted by: Quantum-Dot

1. I can't deal with three-four characters, that's why gave them a chance to live.


2. I can't just make Abhay and Jiya dark all of a sudden, without any strong background behind that.


3. Now I am gonna make almost every characters grey, only Shweta and Samarth are white here till now.

1. I don’t quite understand this as justification for Shweta and Saikat being alive. Could you please elaborate further. If I’m writing the next segment, I need to understand.

2. Abhay has done enough for him to be considered dark or at least grey. He could be a complex character whose motivations haven’t yet been clearly established but he is a main character because WD the creator introduced him in her first segment. So he will stay relevant to the development of the plot of the story. Jiya wasn’t introduced as a dark character- Shibz only told us she was Abhay’s gf. Her character could have gone either way. Here, you gave us a backstory on why she’s with Abhay and made her slightly dark.

3. This story is a chain story so whatever elements are added by any of the contributors has to be respected and worked into the story, especially for the main characters as long as it makes logical sense and does not disrupt the flow of the story or directly contradict a fact or character trait a previous contributor or creator has added.

The plot needs to fully thresh out the main characters; Veronica, Abhay and Samarth in this case and lead to a satisfactory resolution of both their individual and collective arcs. The side characters can be used to propel story arcs, for plot building or for their relationships with the main characters and how it affects them, but the story does not necessarily revolve around them.

Abhay has been established as anti-hero of sorts so he’s grey in my head but Sam and Veronica are the protagonists and the heroes in this story, at least the way it’s progressing so far.

Other contributors, please chime in and let’s discuss the story elements so far.

Edited by LizzieBennet - 2 years ago
LizzieBennet thumbnail

Narrative Ninjas

Posted: 2 years ago

thank you for explaining that Simi! About point 3, I wasn’t talking about the death specifically but since I’m writing the next segment (it’s my first time writing in this story) I wanted to address everything that happened so far to make sure I’m not disregarding anyone’s contributions l/ character arcs/ character traits. You’re right about Jiya, her motivations could have been anything and you have justified that in your segment- in creating a backstory for her that made sense out of why she’s with Abhay.

I’m not questioning your motivations for keeping Saikat and Shweta alive, merely trying to understand what you had in mind for them so that I don’t mess with that when I’m writing my segment.

No one can have a problem with anything in the story - chain writing means everyone is free to create and (destroy 😆 & recreate) at will so long as there is a logical flow to the story and we’re all (more or less) on the same page as to character arcs related to the main characters. Like I’ve said in the FAQs too- secondary characters can be there as much as you need- this story has seen it’s fair share of them and if till they advance the arc and help to complete main character story arcs then they’re all the more welcome!

I did not mean to police any one for what they write- I’m sorry if my questions to you made you feel that way. Please continue writing, and building on this wonderful story.

DreamOfEndless thumbnail

Dream Weavers

Posted: 2 years ago

Originally posted by: LizzieBennet


Other contributors, please chime in and let’s discuss the story elements so far.

@Blue: I feel we have a lot of things unexplored regarding the main protagonists. Veronica, who is a broken soul, right from the start of the story (Parm wrote her so well 👏🏽). As the story progresses we learn how much she has lost in her life, her parents died, her husband cheated, she had to lose her baby, her best friend hid his feelings from her, he did not tell her that her husband was betraying her love, she lost her sister and friend to an accident. As a woman, I would like to see Veronica getting her due happiness after facing so much trauma in her life, and become a strong woman (that she probably is because she is so resilient and still looks forward to happiness). Sam seemed like a well-meaning, but misunderstood character when he was introduced in Segment 1. As the story progresses, we learn that Sam is Abhay’s fraternal twin brother who also faced his share of trauma and inferiority complex in front of Abhay and his family. As a result he couldn’t tell Veronica some truths and couldn’t watch her back like a friend would have. Now we are seeing Veronica and Sam have developed something between them, and I think it will be interesting to see if their past trauma interferes with their relationship or not, or maybe they overcome it.

Regarding Abhay, I feel he has had a very entitled life. His parents chose him above his brother, so they must have pampered him while growing up. He was also a bright student, which must have made him confident. But that doesn’t mean he became a good human being. Having a good brain and a good heart are completely different things. Abhay treated his love for Veronica like a game, won her and then went after his next pursuit. It will be interesting to see what happens when truth comes out that Abhay and Sam are in fact fraternal twins. So, there is a lot to explore in the life of the main characters to keep all us busy for a month.

I would like to thank Parm for tolerating us playing with her characters and making them our own. You have created beautiful characters, Parm, and I am totally enjoying writing about them <3

Edited by DreamOfEndless - 2 years ago
LizzieBennet thumbnail

Narrative Ninjas

Posted: 2 years ago

Segment # 16


Samarth tossed restlessly on his tiny twin bed, desperately trying to get some well-deserved shut-eye. He was bone tired. First, the shattering news about Shweta and Saikat had come in, and he had held Veronica until she had exhausted her tears. When he had finally gotten her to sleep, Abhay had called her cell. Sam had half a mind to ignore it, then decided he would pick up just to let Abhay absorb the fact that he and Nica were together. But Abhay had some surprising news to deliver. It seemed Shweta and Saikat were still alive but barely. It would be a miracle if either survived. Sam had never believed in them. But the tragedy had happened so far away from home and their only source of information was Abhay! Of all people! He snorted at the twisted irony.

He was barely hanging in there himself but he had to be strong for Nica. She had felt a little hopeful when he had relayed the news and had insisted on going to her Mama’s place. He had dropped her off there & headed back to his tiny apartment to sink his exhausted body and mind into sleep. But sleep remained elusive.

Frustrated, he threw off the sheets and walked into his minuscule kitchen to get himself a glass of water when the doorbell rang. Who could it be at this hour?

He switched on the lights and looked through the peephole doing a silent double-take. Abhinav Naanu! What did he want?

He pulled the door open, letting in the elderly man.

“Naanu! Is everything okay?”

The older man drew a deep breath. “No. It’s not. I need your help. We have to talk.”

Samarth guided him to the living room sofa bringing him a glass of water that he refused. And without preamble, he began speaking.

“Samarth, I need you to come back to work for the Mehtas.”

Samarth froze. The one thing he had vowed he would never do after what Abhay had led Veronica to do. He had experienced first-hand her breakdown after the abortion and it had killed him. He had dropped her home and after making sure she was comfortable, had gone straight to the Mehta’s home, deposited their car keys, the security access key and his badge-pin which bore the Mehta Enterprises logo. He was done.

He had found a job soon as a lab analyst in a small biotech firm. And he had a night job as a bouncer in a high-profile club. His security guard & jiu-jitsu training served him well there. In fact, they had served him well at the Mehtas too. Manav Mehta, Abhay’s father had a lot of cut-throat business rivals, and so Abhinav Naanu had directed him to be a sort of bodyguard for the whole family. Chauffeuring had been just a front. But now he wasn’t protecting anyone in that family. Nope. His loyalties lay with Nica.

He met Abhinav Naanu’s gaze steadily and then shook his head speaking firmly.

“Naanu, I’m grateful for everything you’ve done for my Daadu and my family but I think I have repaid your generosity enough. I cannot any longer. If my debt isn’t cleared, I have a little saved up and am working two jobs. I can...”

Abhinav raised his hand indicating for him to stop.

“You are demeaning my friendship and my affection for you, my boy. Jairaj and I were best friends at school. I gave him a job in Basu Finance not because he was my friend, but because he was damn good at what he did!”

Samarth nodded. He was still uncertain where this was going. And he was so damn tired. Yet he stood in attention and respect because the man before him had always commanded it.

A flash of emotion crossed the old man’s face. “Samarth beta. I’m asking you this as a favor. Abhay needs you to protect him. His life could be in danger.”

Samarth's jaw dropped wide open in shock. Abhay was in danger?!

Abhinav took a brief pause. “I know you’re grieving Shweta & Saikat’s fate and I know it’s a lot to ask of you but please hear me out. The police are investigating and they suspect foul play. Suspicion has fallen on a major druglord - Vikrant Chhada also known as The Panther. He has operations in the Maldives. And he also has links with Jiya, the woman Abhay’s been seeing.”

Samarth reeled and sank heavily on the sofa, his head spinning, trying to absorb all of this.

Abhinav Naanu went on. “Saikat and Jiya were engaged long ago and they broke it off right before the wedding. No one knows what happened. Then Jiya had an intense affair with Chhada. They were together for a year. She called it off and came back to India where she met Abhay.”

Samarth nodded. He had seen this Jiya person with Abhay. His blood ran cold.

“It seems Chhada never got over Jiya and still wants her back. He also found out Saikat and Jiya were involved and now the police think Saikat was deliberately attacked. I’m afraid if that is true then Abhay will be next. The man is ruthless and will stop at nothing to get back the object of his affections & clear any perceived hurdle on that path.”

“I still don’t see how I can help. There are more professional..” began Samarth.

Abhinav cut him short. “I want you. I only trust you. You are damn good at what you do.”

“No. I’m sorry. But no.”

Samarth’s words had an edge of finality to them.

Abhinav was silent for a while and then spoke softly.

“Not even if I tell you you’d be protecting your own brother?”

Samarth let out a staggered breath. He had had enough of shocking revelations and hidden secrets. This was too much for him.

“I don’t…”

“I wasn’t going to say anything. This will probably make you hate me, but it’s best if you knew the truth. My guilt has been gnawing at me and I want to get it off my chest now. Your father, Vishwas and my daughter, Kangana had always been close. Somewhere along the line, they fell in love. They wanted to marry of course. But I was misguided then. I always put profitability over emotions and felt a marriage between prospective business partners would be more beneficial. So I arranged Kangana’s marriage with Manav Mehta, the son of Niranjan Mehta, the business tycoon. She rebelled. Threatened to run away and elope. I was harsh with her. But she wouldn’t listen to reason. So I went and pleaded with Vish and Jairaj. Told them to let her go. That their marriage wouldn’t work and the practical impossibilities of it. I begged Vish to marry elsewhere because that was the only way Kangana would relent. He gave in & married your mother, probably out of obligation too. Kangana was heartbroken and she agreed to marry Manav but she discovered she was pregnant.”

Abhinav raised his tired eyes and looked at Samarth, who was completely wrecked by now.

“The child was Vishwas’s. She kept it quiet on my advice. She delivered twins. Manav was away in Australia when Kangana gave birth. Vish’s wife, Prerna - your mother - couldn’t get pregnant because of a medical issue. To assuage my own guilt and as a way of making amends, I gave away one child to Vish and Prerna. You, Samarth.”

He stopped, casting his eyes to the floor. “You were the collateral damage in my twisted schemes. The only consolation - or so I told myself - was that you’d be growing up in your own father’s home. But you had to see struggle while Abhay grew up in comfort. Jairaj & I tried to keep you boys together growing up and hoped you'd be best friends.. but... " He shrugged.

"I did not support Jairaj in his last days as a means to extract a favor or for you to feel obliged. No. That was just a way to make it okay. To seek redemption. To make amends. You didn’t owe me anything, beta,” His voice softened. “It was I who owed you everything.”

Samarth had no idea what to do with this information. He could not process the fact that he and Abhay were brothers. Twins! It seemed… impossible.

“So Abhay is not a Mehta?” he spoke, the words faltering. “We are both .. Varmas?”

“Yes. But Manav does not know. And neither should he. Please don’t tell him. Only Kangana & I and now you know the truth. Even your mother didn't know. Jairaj did not want her loving you any less thinking you were the product of her husband’s love affair.”

Samarth was silent. He had no idea what to say. This was huge. Enormous. And the thing is that nothing would change for him. Or for anyone. Except Abhinav Naanu - his own naanu! - was asking him to protect Abhay, his brother, who had destroyed the love of his life. Samarth had never felt so torn.

“Naanu,” he began softly. “I’m sorry, I cannot…”

“All I’m asking is for you to go to Maldives. Abhay cannot return, he has to stay back while the police are investigating. With this Chhada-Jiya thing, I fear for his safety. I have no one else that I trust. Please, Samarth.”

Samarth was about to refuse again when his phone rang

“Nica, is everything okay?”

“Sam, Mama & Mami are going to Maldives. With Saikat’s parents. I’m going too.”

Samarth paused as he took in Nica’s words. Then he turned to the old man resolutely.

“Okay, I’ll go to Maldives. I’ll protect your grandson.”




________________________


Summary


There's a lot of information in this one so I'll just summarize it here.


Abhinav Basu and Jairaj Varma were friends since childhood days. Abhinav was from a rich family & Jairaj was probably middle-class. After they graduated, Abhinav gave Jairaj a job in his company, Basu Finance. Jairaj had a son, Vishwas and Abhinav had a daughter, Kangana. They grew up together and fell in love & wanted to marry. Abhinav wanted his business to expand and thought an alliance with Manav Mehta of Mehta Enterprises would be more profitable. He convinced Vishwas and Jairaj to let Kangana go & Vishwas married Prerna. Heartbroken, Kangana agreed to marry Manav. However, she was already pregnant at the time of marriage (probably not too far ahead so it's easy for Manav to accept the child was his). Manav was away when Kangana gave birth to twins. Prerna had some medical issues that prevented her from giving birth & Abhinav, already feeling guilt at what he had done, and knowing that Vishwas was their true father, gave one of the twins (Samarth) to the Varma family. Only Vishwas, Jairaj, Kangana and Abhinav knew. Prerna was probably told some lies that he was the baby of a relative or something. Jairaj & Vishwas are now dead. So the only people that know are Kangana, Abhinav and now Samarth.




Samarth has trained in jiu-jitsu at some point (this is retconned info) and was only using chauffering as a front. His real job was to protect the Mehta family. He gave up that job the day Veronica got her abortion. Now he has a new job (s) as mentioned.


Jiya and Saikat were about to marry (as per Simi's segment). Saikat broke it off. Then Jiya had a short and intense affair with Vikrant Chadda aka The Panther, a dangerous druglord (details of this haven't been revealed so it's up to you all). She dumped him and decided to entice Abhay (refer Simi's segment as to her motivations; she wanted Veronica to pay for destroying hers and Saikat's relationship).

Now there is some doubt that Shweta and Saikat's accident may have been planned and that Chhada was responsible. He operates from the Maldives and he saw an opportunity to take out a man that Jiya was in love with (he is somewhat unhinged and also ruthless being a druglord and all). Abhinav is afraid that Abhay will meet the same fate because Jiya is now with him. So he hires Samarth to protect him. Samarth refuses at first but after realizing that Veronica is going there, he agrees.


That's it. If anything else is not clear, please let me know!




T, you can go ahead with the next segment and, and Simi, you can do the one after T. If Bee returns in between, we'll let her take her spot.

Edited by LizzieBennet - 2 years ago
oh_nakhrewaali thumbnail
Posted: 2 years ago

Jiya, babe, wtf!😲 your taste in men is so questionable, hun!

Great update, Liz!

Quantum-Dot thumbnail

Plot Pundits

Posted: 2 years ago

Originally posted by: LizzieBennet

thank you for explaining that Simi! About point 3, I wasn’t talking about the death specifically but since I’m writing the next segment (it’s my first time writing in this story) I wanted to address everything that happened so far to make sure I’m not disregarding anyone’s contributions l/ character arcs/ character traits. You’re right about Jiya, her motivations could have been anything and you have justified that in your segment- in creating a backstory for her that made sense out of why she’s with Abhay.

I’m not questioning your motivations for keeping Saikat and Shweta alive, merely trying to understand what you had in mind for them so that I don’t mess with that when I’m writing my segment.

No one can have a problem with anything in the story - chain writing means everyone is free to create and (destroy 😆 & recreate) at will so long as there is a logical flow to the story and we’re all (more or less) on the same page as to character arcs related to the main characters. Like I’ve said in the FAQs too- secondary characters can be there as much as you need- this story has seen it’s fair share of them and if till they advance the arc and help to complete main character story arcs then they’re all the more welcome!

I did not mean to police any one for what they write- I’m sorry if my questions to you made you feel that way. Please continue writing, and building on this wonderful story.

Actually my main motto for introducing the character of Saikat here, is that I was trying to find explanation behind Abhay ditching Veronica, and whom Veronica used to trust the most, and "he had taken away her trust in others" as written by WD in segment 1. I tried to convey from my past few segments about how continuous external interference in a married life can create rift between two people, even if that interference can come from your respective best friends and no bad intention may be involved. But still husband-wife relationship is something very sensitive, which has to be taken care of by both the individuals, and if something is not working out, the most probable case is that they haven't tried enough, just getting attracted to another girl only because your wife is a poking person clearly can't be the sole reason. Continuous interference from a third party can be a possible reason, it can be from respective in-laws or friends. That's my original take while I had read the first segment. And that's how I proceeded further based on other author's contributions.

Now coming to Samarth, this character is someone whom I am rooting for, because even after all these, due to his deep feelings for Veronica from college days, he is still open-hearted to give Veronica the chance to be happy in life with him. Not many men would be big-hearted enough like him to forget this dark past which Veronica had in reality. So that way, there is a way to explore that part in the upcoming episodes.

LizzieBennet thumbnail

Narrative Ninjas

Posted: 2 years ago

I agree - we have a lot to unpack with Sam, Veronica and Abhay.


Abhay - we don't understand him clearly yet. He is competitive, smart, but also an entitled brat. He is also quickly dismissive of others and selfish to the core. It's yet to be seen if there can be a redemption for him, or he will remain dark/grey.



Veronica: She has been through a lot! The cheating, divorce & subsequent loss of her child notwithstanding, her life hasn't been easy. She was orphaned at 10, and had to live with her uncle's family. That can't have been easy. Then now this grief with Shweta and Saikat. She is an incredible character and deserves all the love she's going to get (from Samarth). But that can't be easy either because he has broken her trust too. He did not tell her about Abhay's affair (yes it came from his own issues but still...)


Samarth: He's another character that's been through a lot. He loves Veronica but does not think he can ever have her and that stems from complex self-esteem issues coming from early childhood (possibly because of all the competitiveness with Abhay where he always felt second-best).


I agree before Veronica and Samarth go full steam on their relationship, they have a lot to unpack and process about their lives individually and how they each influenced the other's life and decisions so far.



And now with all the secondary characters in the story, it remains to be explored where all of this is going. Like you said, the fact that Abhay & Samarth are twins needs to be explored. How is that going to affect everything and everybody around them?

Edited by LizzieBennet - 2 years ago
LizzieBennet thumbnail

Narrative Ninjas

Posted: 2 years ago

Originally posted by: oh_nakhrewaali

Jiya, babe, wtf!😲 your taste in men is so questionable, hun!

Great update, Liz!

Jiya just wants to get some! 😈She doesn't care where it's coming from! 😆


Jokes apart, Saikat probably broke her heart & made her this way.


Thank you, i know this update was superlong. I hope it all made sense

Edited by LizzieBennet - 2 years ago
DreamOfEndless thumbnail

Dream Weavers

Posted: 2 years ago

Awesome update, Liz 👏

Ouch, the Panther is out to catch all men who loved Jiya. Sam finally knows his truth. The name, 'Mehta,' that gives pride to Abhay is not his name.

Related Topics

Top

Stay Connected with IndiaForums!

Be the first to know about the latest news, updates, and exclusive content.

Add to Home Screen!

Install this web app on your iPhone for the best experience. It's easy, just tap and then "Add to Home Screen".